Alexander lifted his hand, touching the ring on his finger.
“I don’t know,” I admitted. “I took it off before entering the CIA.” My God. I hadn’t thought much about the ring in years, but the symbol had been an acceptance of power.
“Everything I had was lost or given away after I went to prison,” Brogan admitted. “My mother handled the task after my father started bragging that his son had earned his stripes by going to prison. Yeah, I had a fucked-up family.”
“The rings are beautiful. Garrison sent his to me. I think that’s what he wanted to give me that day he was with all three of you. After he was arrested, an envelope arrived in the mail. He’d told me it was coming, although I didn’t expect it so soon. Inside was the ring and a letter stating that on the day I turned eighteen, everything in his bank accounts would be transferred to me. I had no knowledge of how much he’d earned, and I didn’t care. He knew he was never coming out of prison. He was prepared to die for the vow he made to all of you. Which was why I made the decision to keep the vow I’d made to him after he died. I wanted to crush you, all of you. I wanted you to feel the pain he’d felt, but now I realize that his honor and the respect he had for you made him happier than anything else.”
Her words were soft, the lilt mesmerizing, yet they sliced a hole in my heart that I doubted could be repaired.
I was surprised when Alexander left the room abruptly, moving past her and onto the deck, heading down the stairs.
She took a deep breath, watching him walk away. Then she followed him.
The world as we’d known it had just shifted into something else altogether. The love I felt for her burned deep and bright, but we’d be forced to let her go. She deserved so much better than any of us.
* * *
Cassie
The truth.
I’d wanted the truth for so long that now I knew, I felt almost nothing inside. No pain. No anger. Just… nothing.
Yet as I walked down the deck stairs, I couldn’t take my eyes off Alexander. He stood close to the water, staring out at the ocean as if the waves would provide the answers he’d been seeking his entire life.
I yanked my shoes into my hand, taking my time approaching. When I was two feet behind him, he took a deep breath, slowly shifting his head over his shoulder. He said nothing, remaining the stoic man he’d always been, but there was no denying the explosive heat we’d felt before. It crackled in the breeze like a sinful invitation.
As I moved beside him, the tumble of emotions was as unexpected as the thoughts racing through my mind. I didn’t want to return to a life without him, without all three of them. Sadly, I couldn’t imagine how that was possible after the pain we’d all endured.
I stared into the blackness of the night, trying to find a way to approach him. He was like a carved block of stone, incapable of cracking. I hated the tension between us.
Twenty seconds turned into two full minutes, compounding the darkness swelling inside of me.
“There are no adequate words to express how I’m feeling except I am very sorry for acting as if I didn’t care about Garrison. I did. I know you can’t believe me, and I don’t blame you. He was special, different than the rest of us.”
His words were subtle, startling in many ways. The tone of his voice was a clear indication of his remorse, but I’d already seen it on his face. It was possible I’d never seen so much guilt haunting a man as I had with him. All the months I’d wanted to hate him most seemed unbearable, ridiculous. I did care about him, as much as I did both Brogan and Daniel. Still, the passion we’d shared seemed far away, as if it had never happened.
“He admired you.”
Alexander chuckled, but his expression wasn’t out of amusement. He had a noose around his neck that he’d placed there himself. Now he was ready to jump off the platform, the action leading to his death.
“He was the one to be admired. And I did. I wish he’d told me about you. But his adoration provides a strange level of comfort even now.”
“Who is Emily?” I asked, the name one I’d remembered from a single conversation I’d had with Garrison.
He seemed surprised, finally turning toward me. The moonlight highlighted extreme agony on his face, his breathing ragged. “I can’t believe he told you. She was a special young woman all four of us cared about. I destroyed what we shared, much like I took away your relationship with your brother. I don’t have any words that will justify my actions then or recently. What Emily taught all four of us was that even ruthless men could find love. I just didn’t know how to embrace the gift I’d been given. I know that means little to you, but it’s good you know.”
“You’re not a bad man, Alexander. You’re just uncertain of what you want out of life.”
There was a moment of surprise in his eyes as he gazed at me, the slight smile he offered providing me with more understanding of him than I’d had before. His heart had been broken, which had jaded him even more than the years of service to an organization he’d believed to be his destiny.
“I am a bad man, Cassie. I’m what nightmares are created of, but I never meant to hurt you. I brought you here trying to maintain my level of power. You took that away with the first look you gave me. You’ve been the only person to rip away my armor. As strange as it sounds, I’m grateful for that.” He inched closer yet remained so distant from me.
A part of me wanted to run into his arms, but I felt stiff, incapable of allowing my desires to surface. “I don’t believe you. What is this place to you?”
He seemed surprised by my question. “I thought it was another level of enforcing power on those who remain under the thumb of my family. Now? I’m not certain.”
“You have the capability of making this place special, something that will ease your conscience.”