CHAPTER11
“He reminded himself again that he took no true pleasure in her pain. He was simply trying to spread the message of the emptiness that had consumed him and remind people how easily dreams shattered.”
—Ira Gansler
Daniel
Passion.
I’d ignored it for most of my life on purpose, refusing to open myself up to the agony I’d felt once so long ago. I knew that by peeling apart the layers of anger and hatred I’d surrounded myself with that I’d find myself vulnerable to the same gut-wrenching agony that had nearly shattered the remaining light inside of me. I’d promised myself I’d submerge myself in work, refusing to acknowledge either my feelings or my broken needs.
Then one touch, one kiss with Dahlia and everything I’d believed in had been tossed aside. The anxiety wrapped around my heart continued to claw at me, the ugly beast inside digging its way through the tough layers.
I fisted my hands, the anguish continuing. I found it difficult to remain in my own skin. Nothing made sense any longer, especially the burn swirling in my heart. Damn it. This was ridiculous.
Dear God, I’d never felt closer to another woman than I did to Dahlia. She was perfect, molding against me as if she’d always belonged there, yet lingering doubts as well as fury remained.
I stayed on the bed, my arm draped over her still trembling body. She’d said nothing after what we’d shared, rolling over, her breathing coming in short pants. I watched as Alexander eased away from the end of the bed, moving toward one of the oversized chairs in the room. He sat down as if he’d already claimed her as his own, now positioning himself on another throne.
That pissed me off more than I cared to admit.
The same shit.
I should have known that allowing myself to become caught up in Alexander’s vengeful thoughts during the last four years would produce the same level of anger as when I’d told him to fuck off. I’d refused to take a single one of his calls after that, even though he’d tried to reconnect three years later.
I’d shoved aside the lost years, the ones where I’d foregone all sense of decency and common sense in order to be a part of something bigger than me. I’d enjoyed every minute of it, until the last six months. We’d been enforcers, rule breakers, and common thieves with a purpose. Then things had gotten out of hand quickly, his hunger for blood increasing with every passing day. I’d fought the demons inside of me for years afterwards, trying to pretend I wasn’t exactly like him.
That had been a lie.
My body ached, the sensual round of fucking doing more than just satisfying my needs for the time being. I still craved the woman, wanting nothing more than to spend time with her in my arms, basking in the recent passion we’d shared.
I glared toward Alexander, loathing the way he’d had Dahlia in his arms before, stroking her like some fucking pet. But instead of being incensed, angry with the man for treating her so roughly, I felt a pang of jealousy. The realization almost made me laugh and would have if it wasn’t for the fact I hadn’t been able to keep my eyes off her. She’d stirred something in me the second I’d laid eyes on her as she stood by the car in the middle of a mostly darkened street. If it hadn’t been for the single yellowing streetlight, I wouldn’t have been so enamored by her stunning beauty.
While she’d worn a different wig, short and luxuriously obsidian in color, I’d known from that instant she was Dahlia. She’d been able to feign her vulnerability with ease, acting helpless when I’d known otherwise.
I’d also been hit in the gut with the fact that I would have difficulty letting her go. It wasn’t rational under any circumstances. I’d never been this attracted to any beautiful woman before, with the exception of one. But that experience had been nothing more than about childish games. I was older and wiser.
Or so I liked to think.
Alexander’s proclamation had been the reason she’d gone quiet, refusing to acknowledge what she’d felt any longer. I couldn’t blame her, and that only angered me even more. How dare Alexander ruin the moment? Exhaling, I rubbed my fingers across my jaw, trying to make sense of anything.
How many fucking games had we played? How many of those games had turned into criminal activity, threats issued, or pranks that had gone wrong? Christ. We were lucky we all hadn’t landed behind bars. Now this. This… Incredible, damning moment.
Dahlia had a sense of innocence about her, an imploring look in her doe eyes as she’d stared into mine. She’d been searching for answers, but instead of asking, she’d taken it upon herself to try to eliminate the three men who could easily destroy her.
We could make her disappear, all traces, as if she’d never been born. We could provide sessions of pain that few large men had been able to endure, let alone a small creature like the one Alexander had just walked away from. She had no understanding of what we were capable of. What I knew in my heart was that if either one of them tried to hurt her, I would have no issue tearing them apart.
She moved off the bed, keeping her back to all three of us. That troubled me more than I cared to admit. When Alexander finally rose to his feet, I glared at him with the same kind of fury I’d shown him all those years before.
He was nothing but the devil in expensive clothing, acting as if he owned the world. I’d thought myself better, but there was no turning back from what we’d done, no matter the circumstances.
Brogan’s deep growl drew my attention. He was staring at Alexander in the same manner. When Alexander moved toward Dahlia, she turned away from him, taking deliberate steps toward one of the other windows.
Alexander laughed, the sound subtle yet as controlling as the man. He’d expected her to fall to her knees after the round of seduction, perhaps begging for forgiveness. She was too resilient and committed in the mission she’d set out on for that.
“Take our guest to her room. Lock her in. My patience has run out.” As he’d done more times than not, he strode out of the room, acting as if we were supposed to clean up after him.
I reacted first to his tantrum, hissing under my breath as I climbed off the bed, moving toward her, scooping her into my arms.