I won’t blame him.
I can’t.
I made this choice. Now I have to live with the consequences.
But as Graham carts me back into my cell, I can’t help but feel knots form in my stomach at the mere idea of being stuck in there again with the only man who even remotely cares about me in here.
He places the wheelchair down in the center, forcing me to look upon the man I left behind. He leaves the room for a second, only to come back later with a bunch of underwear, probably taken from the closet.
He places them on the bed and says, “That should be enough.”
He approaches me again and places a chilling hand on my shoulder. That’s when something sharp enters my neck. The needle.
I try to reach for it, forgetting I was tied up, so I’m unable to defend myself.
My body goes weak again, and I can barely keep my eyes open. The straps are untied, and he pulls me out, hoisting me into his arms. Then he places me on the bed and rolls out the wheelchair.
The last thing I hear is his ominous whistling before passing out completely.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Accompanying Song: “I Will Fall For You” by Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui & Woodkid
Cage
I’ve been staring at her ever since she came back. She hasn’t flinched, let alone move from the bed since she was put back into her prison by Father. I wonder how she’s doing and if she’s hurt. If she’s sleeping … and what she’s dreaming about.
I wonder where she went. She was gone a very long time, and he seemed quite upset. He was even raging at me, despite the fact I didn’t do anything to cause him to get angry.
I think she may have done something irrevocable. Something no one can take back.
Why else would he walk away without even speaking to me?
When she groans, I perch up to see if she’s awake. Her muscles tense, and she takes a deep breath, coughing right after. I check for blood but see none. He must’ve fixed her up like he always does with me when I get hit too many times by my opponents.
She leans up on her elbow, so I get up from my bed and walk toward the glass, placing a hand against it to let her know I’m here. The moment our eyes lock, she frowns and looks away. Something watery sparkles in her eyes, and the drops begin to roll down her cheeks again.
“What happened?” I ask, my voice low because I’m anxious, but I don’t want to upset her further.
She doesn’t respond, just shakes her head and buries her face in her hands. She stays like that for minutes maybe, and when her face appears again, it’s completely red and covered in wetness.
I swallow away the lump in my throat, trying to shake the uneasiness from her sadness, but it won’t go away. I wish I could pull her into my arms and hold her tight. Tell her everything would be all right.
But she’s there … and I’m here … separated by impenetrable glass.
I hate it.
Licking my lips, I cock my head and gaze at her legs. There doesn’t seem to be any more blood but best ask just to be sure. “Blood?”
She shakes her head again. “It was my period.”
“Period?” I frown. Never heard of that before.
“It happens every month … to girls.”
Every month? To girls? She’s not making any sense to me. Father never told me about this.
When she sees my confused face, she opens her mouth again.
“We bleed from the same entrance you use to … have sex,” she says, clearing her throat and rubbing her arms. “It’s to prepare us for having babies.”
Babies. Now that word I do know. Father always hammered on about how he wanted me to make them, but I never understood how. Just that I was supposed to fuck the girls that came in, so I do. Ella and I did, so does that mean she will get pregnant now?
“I’m not pregnant,” she says, looking up at me with despair.
Does that mean my fucking didn’t work? Or did something happen? Was it the bleeding? Or was I too rough?
“It’s not your fault. This is natural.” She shrugs. “Sometimes girls get pregnant; sometimes they don’t.”
She sighs out loud and pulls her legs up to her waist, clutching them tight as she sits on the bed. She seems to be inside her head, but I want to know what she’s thinking. I want to know what Father did to her if the bleeding is natural. Why he had to take her.
“Explain,” I say, sitting down on the floor in front of the glass.
“What? The bleeding? I just did.”
“Father took you,” I say.
Her lips part, but nothing comes out. Instead, her eyes go back and forth between me and the floor until she can’t hold it in any longer. “He wants me to become pregnant.”