It was the only way.
But God … did it feel wrong, and it hurt so badly at first. It was hard and painful, but I told myself to push through it and just accept it. When he was finally completely inside me, ramming in and out, it eased up, and pleasure replaced the pain. It felt so full but so good. I’d already felt so much of it that I needed him to fill me. I wanted to feel sated and wanted it to be done.
And now that it finally is, I’m glad I still gave Graham exactly what he wanted without sacrificing my freedom. Because if I ever get pregnant in here … that’s the end of it.
No one, and I mean no one, would want to get pregnant in a place like this.
That’s cruel beyond words.
So I opted not to even make it a possibility. I begged him to take my ass so he wouldn’t take my pussy instead. I knew there was no other way, but still … the moment he ripped through me, I felt invigorated. Alive. As if I could finally let go, and it would be okay.
Cage pulls my blanket up and tucks me in then sits down on the bed and picks me up again. He pulls me into his embrace and cradles me as he leans back against the glass. I’m so sleepy; I don’t even bother to ask him why. It feels nice to have his warmth envelop me, to make me feel as if I’m not alone on this night.
He plants a kiss on my forehead and whispers, “Mine.”
Goose bumps scatter on my skin as I nuzzle his chest and feel the energy leaving my body.
“Rest now,” he whispers, holding me close to his body.
And I do. For the first time in a long time, I fall asleep without the fear that’s chaining my mind to this cell and dream of the green grass and bright sun again.
Chapter Eighteen
Accompanying Song: “Elastic Heart” by Sia
Ella
I wake up in his arms. I don’t know how long I slept, but I can tell he did too. There’s sleep in his eyes, and he has circles under his eyes. But he’s still beaming as he looks at me, blinking softly as I yawn. He smiles, and I smile back, feeling his arms envelop me like a warm cocoon.
And then he does the most peculiar thing.
His finger reaches for my cheek, caressing me softly before he leans in and kisses me.
And I let him.
I don’t know why I do, but I don’t want to resist.
I’m too tired to say no, and after weeks of no human contact, I crave his. If this is something to be ashamed of, then so be it. I’ll gladly accept his affection because I need it more than anything right now. His mouth on mine makes me feel alive.
“Oh, my lord … you’re kidding me, right?”
Syrena’s voice makes me pull away from Cage, and my cheeks flush red the moment I notice she’s caught us.
Well, shit.
“Making out like teenagers in your cell?” she scoffs. “Really?”
I quickly unfurl from his arms even though I know she can’t even see us. She’s blind, obviously, but apparently, she could still hear us. I don’t want to give anyone the impression that I’m into it even though I am.
“Relax,” she says, laughing. “I get it. You fuck each other a couple of times, and you’re smitten. It happens. Regularly, trust me,” she says. “You lovebirds go right ahead. But please, keep it quiet, I don’t like to hear someone fuck.”
“We’re n-not—” I mutter.
“No need to deny it, honey,” she says. “It’s cool. Just don’t throw it in my face, okay? It makes me jealous because I wish I had a hunk of a man like you have,” she jests, chuckling again.
“Hunk?” I say, cringing from the word.
“Don’t pretend you’re not totally into that body,” she says, raising a brow.
Her comment makes Cage smile at me, and that makes me want to hide behind my pillow. God, I hate it when I’m exposed like that.
“Y-you discuss it like we’re n-not trapped in a c-cage, fighting for s-survival,” I reply.
“Oh, I know, but we all need distractions and fun. Plus, it feels nice, right? I can imagine. I only have my hand.” She holds up her hand to show me.
“Ew …” I mumble.
She grins. “Don’t pretend you didn’t do that at home. Stop being a prude.”
“I’m not,” I say.
“What?” Cage asks.
“Nothing,” I say, burying my face in my hands. “Please, can we discuss something else?”
“Sure,” Syrena says. “I’m curious, though … Is he your first?”
“Yes.”
With a dropped jaw, I glare at Cage who just spilled the beans like that. He gazes back at me with a shrug, apparently not aware of what the fuss is about. To him, that’s the best part, when to me, it was quite embarrassing. Especially considering who he really is.