Chapter4
Buckie
My day spent yesterday with Zara was interesting. I wasn't expecting to leave her feeling the way I did. But when I mentioned picking up where we left off something changed in her eyes. I didn't notice it at first. It was only after I thought about it when we parted ways that I realised her mannerisms had changed. I don't know if it was because we hadn’t seen each other for so long, or the fact that I was suffering from lack of sleep. But there was definitely a shift.
I'm going to see my parents today and I may run this by mum. She's quite good with relationships and this is as complicated as it gets.
Washed and dressed and morning skincare taken care of, I head out into the morning sunshine. I forgot how lovely it was to see Glasgow waking up in the morning. My parents live in Ayrshire on the West coast of Scotland. I bought them a new home and asked them where they would like to go. Mum said anywhere with a beach so that she could get dogs and walk them. Dad didn't care as long as he had a garage. She never did get those dogs, but dad loves his garage.
The train journey to Maybole is scenic and it warms my heart to see these parts of Scotland again. I see dad’s car in the car park, and I smile. I haven't seen my parents in such a long time. The last time they were in L.A. was over a year ago and I haven’t had the time to see them since.
Stepping off the train, I see dad standing on the platform. His smile is so wide it could light up the night Sky.
“Hey dad it's lovely to see you again.”
We give each other a huge bear hug and he slaps my back hard.
“Son, I’ve missed you so much. Your mum is chomping at the bit to see you.”
“Where is she?”
“Well, you know your mum. She stayed behind to make sure the cakes were okay for you coming.”
“Okay. I can see I'm going to have to hit the gym hard while I'm here. It wouldn't do for me to go back to Hollywood looking like a barrel.”
Dad laughs his hearty laugh and I'm taken right back to my childhood. My parents were always the coolest. Everyone wanted to come to my house for dinner or sleepovers or to hang out. I never wanted for anything and as I got older, I realised that my mum and dad sacrificed a hell of a lot for me. They are selfless, and the most loving parents a kid could ever have.
The short drive from the train station takes us through the Ayrshire countryside. I'm like a little dog looking out the window. It's definitely a sight I took for granted when I was young and —dare I say it — I kind of miss the winter. L.A is as far removed from Scotland as it gets, and I realise I’m homesick.
The entrance gates to my parents’ home have had a facelift since the last time I was here.
“Wow dad this looks amazing. When did you get this done?”
“I did this myself at the start of the summer last year. Are you impressed?”
“Yeah I am. This must have taken a lot of work.”
“Well I had to find something to do. I was driving your mum mad being in the house all day. I had a project I was working on, but I finished it well before the summer. She told me if I didn't get out from under her feet, she was going to murder me and bury me under the new patio. This was one project I wanted to get done before the winter, so I decided to go for it. Bought all the materials and tinkered away every day. And your mum still loves me, so I win either way.”
As we reach the front of the house, I see mum standing on the front steps. Another beaming smile for me and I can definitely see tears in her eyes. I know they've missed me, and I've missed them too. They’ve supported me in everything I've ever done all my life and were very happy when I decided I wanted to be an actor. Mum said I was always putting on shows for them when I was young, and I was in every single school play we ever did. She told me she knew I would go into acting or some arm of the performing arts someday.
“Oh look there she is. My beautiful wife, ready with cake and tears.”
I smile at how he talks about my mum. This is the type of relationship I aspire to. But so far, in my 31 years on this earth, I haven't found that person yet. For some reason I always thought I’d have settled down by now. I've had a few girlfriends over the years, but none ever stuck. I often wondered whether Zara and I would end up together, but I know she doesn’t see me that way. She never has. Her telling me the other day that we would never work put the last nail in that coffin. She's right, we do lead such different lives. She has her life in Glasgow, and I have mine wherever in the world I happen to be. It's bad enough I couldn't even see her when I was in Scotland filming. I can't imagine the type of long-distance relationship we’d end up having. But now that I’ve seen her, I can't stop thinking about her. I tossed and turned the whole night last night with her on my mind. She invaded my dreams and when I was awake, I swear I conjured an image of her.
“So what was this project you’ve been working on this year?”
“Aha. Wouldn't you like to know?”
“Well yes, since I asked, of course I would like to know.”
He brings the car to a stop outside the house. When my parents were looking for their new home mum sent me a picture of this place. Then she phoned and was killing herself laughing. She said something about me buying them a Castle. And that's exactly what I did. It’s not a massive place it's more of a stately home, but it does look like a miniature Castle. Now they both joke that they are Laird and Lady of Castle Buchanan.
Dad and I get out of the car, and mum runs at me, arms open, tears running down her face.
“Oh, my wee boy. I've missed you so much.”
“Hey mum I've missed you too. Both of you.”