That was a topic for debate, but since he wasn’t in any position to critique her dating life without inviting the same, he stayed quiet.
It wasn’t until they reached the polar bear exhibit that Morgan tried to broach the subject again. “It’s actually too bad. Ella and I really liked Benny. And I could tell you did, too. I mean, don’t get me wrong, neither of us know what a healthy, loving relationship looks like by any stretch of the imagination, but I’d venture to say what I saw between you two was closer to anything I could ever wish for. Maybe not exactly the gushy crap like in all those Disney shows you used to watch with me. But close. And the fact that she didn’t hang on your every word earned her a few extra brownie points.”
Yeah. Benny did tend to call him on his bullshit without blinking an eye. It had been a refreshing change, really.
“Did I mention that I met Ella’s new teacher? She’s pretty cute, and I’m certain she’s single. Maybe you might want to pick Ella up after school some time and check her out.”
That was it? His sister had already moved on, not even a little more disappointed to see that the best woman he’d ever had the luck to spend time with had dumped his ass? Who this very moment might be still snuggled in bed with the humanitarian of the year—oh. Except that she was probably at her dad’s big surprise party right now, celebrating the man’s life. Maybe playing a game of Twister or badminton with her family.
Had she brought Luke with her? Was he, even now, in the middle of a scrimmage with her brothers, pretending they weren’t out for blood?
The thought made him crazy sick with jealousy. And a little sad.
It should have been him.
He should be there.
He should be telling Benny she was beautiful, whether she was in scrubs and a ponytail or those silly slippers and her hoodie. Waiting for the next outrageous comment that would come from that lovely mouth.
Why had he ever told her that men liked women who hung on their every word, shared the same interests, even if they had to pretend?
Why had he thought she needed to be anyone else but herself?
She was perfect just as she was. Ponytail. No ponytail. Scrubs or no scrubs. Pj’s or teddies or, preferably, nothing at all…
Ahead of them a little boy, no older than three, was balancing on the head of a statue of a bear. As expected, his foot gave out, and for a terrifying moment, he was sure the kid was going to crack his head open on the asphalt under him. But two arms reached out and grabbed the tyke before disaster could strike, and the man who Henry presumed was the kid’s father easily slung the boy to his shoulders. The woman next to him wrapped her arm around him and smiled up at the two obvious loves of her life.
He watched as they mouthed the words I love you and continued in step to the next exhibit.
And more than anything else in the entire world he wished, right then, that he was that man. That Benny was that woman. That the two of them could smile at each other, each certain of the other’s love.
That it would be forever.
Forever.
Something he had been so certain he couldn’t offer to anyone. Or that someone could offer to him.
So he’d chosen to be alone, instead of embracing what he could have, for however long.
Chosen to never have another moment when Benny’s hand rested perfectly in his, or she turned those clear, mischievous blue eyes to his and grinned, or said something so crazy and hilarious that he could only laugh and look forward to what she’d say next.
He’d said no. Said no to the possibility of forever. He’d said no, because what kind of guarantees were there in life of anything, least of all someone’s continued love and affection?
Well, save for one exception.
Henry knew, without a doubt, that no matter what crazy thing that woman said or did, he would never stop loving her.
He loved Benny Sorensen. And he would love her until he could no longer draw breath. He wanted to wake up with her at his side every morning, and he wanted to end every night with her next to him—or under him or above him.
Wasn’t that something worth risking any possible heartache on?
Because this past week had been hell. Pure hell. And if this was his future, then what was the point of anything?
Only…he had really blown it. Pushing her away, making it clear that there could never be anything more than friendship between them. He’d been a complete schmuck. Too afraid to recognize what was right in front of his face. He was already head over heels in love with the woman. She’d been right. He was a coward.
But not anymore.
No matter if she—or her brothers, or even Luke—sent him packing, he had to let her know that she was the only one for him and he was certain he was the best man for her. He had to convince her that he loved her quick wit and sauciness, her refusal to bow out of an argument, that he didn’t care if she wore ratty pajamas every day for the rest of her life, that he wanted her and only her.