Other than realizing she’d completely lost her mind where this man was concerned? No. Nothing had happened. She shook her head.
True to his word, he had showered, and he now had a clean soapy smell, stronger than the more musky and sweaty scent of earlier, but neither less
nor more appealing.
“Are you going to speak anytime soon? Because in the entire time I’ve known you, you’ve never stayed silent this long.”
How could she form words when it was taking every ounce of control she had not to press herself against that hard chest, to nuzzle his smooth skin with her mouth?
“If I set you down, you’re not going to faint, are you?”
Okay, now that was ridiculous. She’d never do anything so foolish. “I think I’ll manage,” she said, her tone more imperious than she’d intended, but at least she’d spoken.
He released her legs first, and she slid down his body. His smile disappeared.
“What were you doing?” he asked and stepped around her. He grabbed some paper towels from the counter and managed to cover the spill and sweep it and the glass into a pile. She was a little disappointed that he’d slung his jeans on before coming down, but the moment he bent down, giving her a different angle of his butt and quads than she’d previously seen, she was contrite.
“I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I might take something.” She tilted her head, trying to get another angle just as he came to his feet and tossed the towels and broken glass into the trash.
“Was that what that little pill was? I’m afraid I couldn’t salvage it. It’s in the trash.”
She ran her hand through her tangled hair. “It’s okay. I think I’ll just go back up.”
They stood there, staring at each other. Neither one moving yet.
There was something she wanted to ask him, and it had been running through her head on a loop. Wondering the answer.
“Travis?” Now or never. “Do you think that, if you weren’t who you are and I wasn’t who I am and I hadn’t done any of that stuff to you in the past and we were just meeting for the first time now…would you have said no to me earlier?”
The sound of crickets followed. Real crickets that chirped in the warm summer air just outside, making his silence more pronounced.
This was awful. Why hadn’t she just let it go?
Finally, he ran his hand through his short hair. “Hell, Mer. Thing is, it’s all so tied up, our past, that I don’t know if I could answer that. Since I first saw you the other day, in many ways you’ve been the same, but in other ways also…different. And I want to believe that you’ve finally changed.”
“But you don’t think people can change.” He’d said it earlier, in reference to his dad.
“Yeah. I don’t,” he admitted.
“I’m kind of confused…so your answer. It’s no.” He didn’t think she could change. “Right?” She barely managed the last before the air seemed to be sucked out of her lungs. She turned and walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. His footsteps followed. “I seem to be unable to stop humiliating myself tonight.”
“You haven’t humiliated yourself. Far from it.”
What else was he going to say? She took the stairs two at a time, her lungs ready to burst. She reached her door and was ready to shut it, but he was there, his face framed in the doorway. More softly, she asked, “But you do think I’m a monster. That I’m capable of causing you pain all over again. Right?”
He smiled and for a minute she considered slamming the door in his face. “You’ve done some pretty mean things in your life, but I don’t think you’re a monster. Your pranks…they were mean, yes. They hurt people. But I can see now that in many ways, the person they hurt the most was…you.”
Instantly, shame washed over her again. Shame and regret. She’d been cruel, to him and so many others. “I’m sorry. I really am. For everything. For the pain and humiliation I caused you. And despite all I did, you’re still here. Helping. Even if I don’t deserve it.”
“Wrong. You deserve a hell of a lot more than you think you do, Mer. When you stop being such a pain in the ass, you’re actually kind of amazing. Surprisingly witty. Strong. Intelligent. Fiercely protective. And near as I can tell, the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known.”
It was so quiet now, the only sound her heavy breathing thanks to her race from the kitchen, and she processed what he’d said. She smiled. “You think I’m funny?”
No one had ever accused her of that.
“No,” he said, and she looked at him in confusion, until she saw his lips turned into that breathtaking smile. “I said you’re witty. There’s a difference.”
And he thought she was beautiful.