I took hold of her hand. “I have, and I can’t think of anyone I’d rather have working with me on this than you.”
For a moment, Sage looked lost in her thoughts. I’d thought she’d like my plan. I’d assumed she’d be as invested as me in helping these people.
Her eyes met mine. “Brandon. We need to talk.”
Here it came. We’d had five minutes of paradise, and now that reality was sinking in, it would all come crashing down. I tried not to let my disappointment show. Pretty sure I was doing a crap job of it.
“Wearetalking,” I said in a pathetic attempt to keep my tone neutral.
She twirled a lock of hair around a finger. “You said a lot of things earlier. I get that in the heat of the moment you might’ve said something you didn’t mean.”
“Unlikely, but which part are you doubting?”
She pressed her lips together. “That we’re together. That you’re all in.” She focused on plucking invisible lint from the duvet. “Did you mean those things?”
I hooked my knuckle under her chin and brought her eyes to mine. “Every single word.” The pointed look I gave her left no room for argument.
“But you live in Missouri.”
“I don’t have to.”
“You have this über-secretive lifestyle.”
“We can work around that.”
“This is crazy.” A skeptical laugh bubbled out of her. “You’re offering to change your whole life for me.”
“Can you give me one reason I shouldn’t?”
“We hardly know each other, for one.”
My eyes roamed her flushed, naked body. “Pretty sure we just got to know each other rather intimately.”
She slapped my arm. “I don’t mean in the biblical sense. I’m pointing out the fact that we only met a few weeks ago.”
I lifted one shoulder. “What else do you need?”
“What do you mean?”
“What details will satisfy you that you know me? I’ve fought side by side with you, gotten you out of a twisted Mafia bargain. Sage, I’ve killed for you—”
She held up a hand. “I’m not doubting your character, Brandon. I’m saying you should question mine.” She swallowed with difficulty, and the uncertainty in her gaze concerned me. “Despite this change between us, I’m still broken. You shouldn’t shift your whole life to fit in with mine when I’ll only disappoint you.” She licked her lips. “I have good days and bad days, and sometimes I’m not much fun to be around. Just ask Lettie.”
“And yet she’s stuck by you.”
“She has to. We’ve known each other since middle school. Lettie’s practically family.”
“That’s not why she does it. She sees the same things I do. Your brilliant analytical mind, your bravery and determination, your devotion to those you love.” Her glistening gaze lowered. “Want to know a truth?” I asked, and she nodded. “I have good days and bad days, too. We’re both survivors, Sage, and it’s okay to not be okay sometimes. I think that makes us perfect for each other.”
She drew in a ragged breath. “How do you always know the right thing to say?”
“I don’t. I’m just doing the best I can. Same as you.”
What was going through that beautiful mind of hers? She remained silent for so long I wondered if my words had sunk in.
“Brandon, there’s something else I need to tell you.” Sage took my hand and weaved her fingers through mine. “I should’ve said this much earlier. I’m sorry for the things I said the other night. The…hate I directed at you, it was misguided and unfair.” She exhaled deeply. “Ever since Kieran was murdered, I’ve carried this fear inside me of making the same terrible mistake again. Of putting someone I care about in danger. And since I can’t remove the danger we’re in, I tried to shut down my feelings for you.” She shook her head. “I swear, I’m not making excuses for why I said such shitty things. I just need you to know I didn’t mean any of it. Especially the stuff about you only helping me to make yourself feel better about Janie’s death. That was total bullshit and clearly not my finest moment. Unleashing on you felt as monstrous as kicking a puppy.” She sighed. “You’re literally the most noble person I’ve ever met. I didn’t even think men like you existed.”
“They don’t. There’s only one of me.”