My far-too-clever friend tapped a finger against her jaw. “Let me guess. He flirted with you?”
Pretty sure my nostrils flared with how hard I exhaled.
“You ever notice how quick you are to dismiss someone you’re attracted to?” Lettie asked.
“I’m going to ignore that question.” A sardonic laugh escaped me. “Oh, and I haven’t even told you the worst part. He’s moving in across the hall.”
Lettie sat up, eyes wide. “He is?”
“Unfortunately. Unloading his things as we speak.”
“You know, you could’ve started with that important piece of information as soon as you walked through the door.” Lettie jumped from her seat and dashed to our tiny balcony overlooking the road.
“I’m sorry. I was too busy explaining how I almostdied.”
“Don’t be so dramatic. You’re fine.” She dismissed me with a flick of her wrist before peering over the rail. “I think I see him at the back of a truck. Dark hair, muscles for days, and an ass you could bounce a quarter off?”
“Hands the size of baseball gloves?” I frowned. “That’s him.”
“Damn.” My roommate leaned half her body over the rail and waved, a seductive wiggle of her black-acrylic-tipped fingers.
“What the hell are you doing? Get away from there.” I stormed to the balcony and dragged her inside.
“He waved first. If he’s going to live across the hall, it would be rude not to say hi.” Lettie shook her head. “Oh, honey. Our new neighbor is sex on a stick, and you think that’s a problem?” She chuckled. “No, my friend. This will make lifeveryinteresting. Well, your life at least. And if I weren’t already taken, I’d be baking that man a batch of welcome cookies and making myselfknown.”
“You saw him. He’s probably a man whore. I bet there’ll be a different woman at his apartment every day of the week.” A small part of me bristled that such a thing would bother me.
Lettie flashed me an impish smile. “You like him.”
Ugh,she didn’t even frame it as a question.
My eyes flared. ”Likeis a strong word. I’m attracted to him, sure, but you’d have to be in a coma not to recognize the guy’s an eleven.”
“No. It’s more than that. You’ve hooked up with hot guys and never gotten worked up over them. This one’s different.”
“Unlikely.” I didn’t tell Lettie the truth. That earlier, Brandon had made me feel something I didn’t want to acknowledge. Not that it mattered. I needed to shut this conversation down fast because I knew where it was heading.
“Then what’s the problem?” Lettie asked. “Just screw his brains out and move on. Same as you do every couple of months when your coochie’s desperate pleas for attention become too difficult to ignore.”
I raised my palms in the air. “I’ve got nothing against casual sex, but hooking up with a neighbor is a level of awkward I’m not okay with.”
“So”—Lettie shrugged—“don’t make it a booty call.”
As if it were that simple.
I narrowed my eyes. “Do you even know me at all?”
“Better than anyone.” She rested her hands on my shoulders. “You know I’ll support you one hundred percent in your endeavor to resist the charms of that fine piece of ass, but it’s been three years since you’ve had a real relationship. No one will ever replace Kieran—”
“I know. I’ll always love Kieran, but that’s not what this is about.”
Lettie frowned. “You’re scared of letting anyone get close.”
I nodded. “I can’t risk losing someone again, and I won’t allow myself to be the cause of it.” No matter how much Lettie and my therapist had told me otherwise, neither of them could guarantee my actions would never endanger a loved one again.
The sympathy in her eyes had my throat constricting. “Fine. Just know I say this from a position of wisdom because Iamfifty-two days older than you and because I love you. It’s time for you to move beyond a one-night stand. It’s okay to be nervous about starting something new, but you deserve to be happy. Kieran would want that.”
He would. We’d even spoken about it after Mom passed and Dad started traveling the world with his new job. It had been a drunken, late-night conversation. One we’d never thought would become our reality until we were much older. Kieran had urged me to do whatever I needed to find joy again. I’d joked and told him I’d haunt him if he ever looked at another woman.