17
Shep
IfCam’sbodyhadn’tbeen clenching around me with her release, I might have thought I was dreaming. But this was happening. And she was as real as could be, complete with hot, flushed skin, heaving chest, and a glint in her eye that told me she’d enjoyed that as much as I had.
Fuck me. I couldn’t have asked for anything more.
I gazed down at her with amazement and tried to catch my breath. “Jesus, woman. What have you done to me?”
“Not enough. Come here.” Cam reached behind my head and pulled me in for another kiss.
Nope, wouldn’t tire of these lips anytime soon. Or her lower ones. Christ, the taste of her drove me wild.
Delicate fingers ran down my neck and across my shoulders. I’d be trying for round two if she kept that up. Damn, I hoped this wasn’t a one-off thing for her. A pity fuck for the stunt she pulled earlier. We had plenty to discuss.
“Stay here, darlin’. I need to look after you. Then we’ll talk some more.”
Reluctantly, I removed myself from her and the bed, then went to the bathroom to grab a warm, damp cloth. When I returned, Cam lay on her side, one arm propped under her head and a lazy smile on her face. It filled me with a ridiculous amount of pride that I’d put it there.
Rolling her onto her back, I used the cloth to clean between her thighs using light strokes. I hadn’t been gentle with her earlier, yet Cam had welcomed it. Hell, she’d demanded more.
She sat up on her elbows to watch me take care of her, a half smile on her lips. “No guy’s ever donethatfor me before.”
I grunted. Cam deserved better than those douchebag ex-boyfriends, and she deserved better than me.
I tossed the cloth on the side table and pulled the covers over both of us to make sure she was warm.
I laid on my side with my hand resting on the smooth, flat skin of her belly. “You let me come inside you. You sure that was all right?” Complicating her life with an unplanned pregnancy wasn’t something I wanted to send her overseas with.
“It’s fine. I’ve been getting the contraceptive shot for a while now. It keeps my cycle pain free. It’s good for another couple of months at least.” She winced. “You might have figured this out already, but my period isn’t arriving soon like I told you. The shots pretty much stop them for me.”
“Yeah, that was a clever move on your part. You were acting weird before I left. Thought it was PMS mood swings or something, but I couldn’t be sure. That’s why I chained you up. I felt like an asshole for cuffing you. I almost didn’t.”
Cam gnawed on her bottom lip. “I’m sorry for manipulating you like that.”
“I was a fool to leave you. I figured since you were restrained and I had the truck, there was no way you’d try to get the chain off and escape on foot. The damn quad slipped my mind.”
It was also a stupid mistake to leave the shed unlocked. I should’ve at least hidden the keys, but our fight had distracted me.
Flopping onto my back, I scrubbed my face and tried not to think about how close I’d come to losing her today. I hadn’t experienced fear like that in a long time. Trueclench your bleeding heart in your fistkind of fear. Gotta say, not a fucking fan.
It was as though my sanity depended on Cam’s safety and happiness. What the fuck was up with that? She had me vulnerable in a way I’d never been before. If she suffered, it drove me to make things better for her. Not only that, I wanted Cam to have a life full of every beautiful thing she deserved.
A messed-up hitman wasn’t one of those things.
Cam rolled over and propped herself up on my chest so we were face to face. I didn’t miss the fact that her breasts were pressed against me. Maintaining eye contact might be difficult.
“I’m sorry I stressed you out like that.” She tilted her head. “It’s weird, you know. This whole situation my brother has got us into is a fucking nightmare, but if he wasn’t such a screw-up, I’d never have met you. And I’m glad that I did.”
“That was a hell of an apology.” I pulled the rest of her body on top of mine so she was laying flush against me. Her wild hair hung loosely around her face and draped over my chest.
I traced my fingers from temple to jaw. She was so damn beautiful. That she’d let me touch her, be inside of her, blew my mind. Even if Cam didn’t have to leave the country, someone like me didn’t get to keep a woman like her. My old man was evidence of that. And besides, she’d had enough assholes in her life. She didn’t need one that came with as much baggage as I did. Not to mention that it would never be safe to bring her into the seedy world I lived in. I couldn’t protect her from that twenty-four seven.
I don’t know why I tortured myself thinking about it. Whatever the outcome of the next week, it wouldn’t end with us staying together.
“So, what happens now?” Cam asked. “With us, I mean?”
And this was why I was an asshole. I should be able to control myself with her because I was supposed to be a goddamn professional. But I didn’t have the willpower to shut it down because I’d never wanted anything the way I wanted Cam. Yeah, I gave her what we both craved, but now things were even more complicated, and there was nothing I could do to fix that.