I made up the distance between us and put my arms around her because I couldn’t help myself. She collapsed into me. “I hate what this is doing to you.”
Cam nodded, or perhaps nuzzled her face into my chest, I wasn’t sure. But she shared her burden with me and that was as much as I hoped for.
“Come, sit.” Taking her hand, I led her to the sofa. “Wait here.”
When I returned from the kitchen with a heavy-handed pour of whiskey, she gave a wan smile. “I guess I could use that. Thanks.”
“No problem.”
I grabbed a soft woolen blanket from the lower cupboard under the bookshelf and draped it over her legs. Cam snuggled against the arm of the sofa and sipped from the tumbler.
After collecting my laptop, I sat beside Cam, ready to get down to business. An email to Greg about speeding up the passport, and one to Ben with the offer for Justin. If I had Ben’s number, I’d call him, but he changed it often to remain untraceable. Plus, he had some extreme encryption bullshit on his email, so it was both the safest and only option.
“It’s done.” I turned to find Cam fast asleep with the empty glass still cradled in her lap. Perhaps the whiskey had worked a little too well. I closed my laptop and placed it on the coffee table, then did the same with her tumbler.
This was the second time in as many nights she’d passed out on the sofa. Couldn’t say I minded carrying her to bed.
When I scooped her up, she stirred and gazed at me through sleepy eyes.
“Did I drift off?” Her voice was raspy. The smell of whiskey tinged her breath.
“It’s all right. I got you.”
I lowered her to the edge of the bed and pulled the covers back.
“I’m so worried, Shep.” Her chin trembled. “Someone might be trying to kill Justin this very minute. How can I lie here and sleep while that happens?”
I perched next to Cam and reached for her hand.
“We can’t change anything right now, but I think we can help him. Franky’s go-to assassins aren’t in Illinois. They’ll have to travel to get there. And who’s to say Justin’s even in that location anymore? Franky hasn’t been able to find him, so maybe he’s been on the move the whole time.” I had to give her some hope. She was falling apart.
She sniffled and rubbed her nose. “I’m tired of being scared. I’m afraid for Justin and for me. And moving overseas and starting a new life feels so overwhelming. I can’t see how everything is going to be all right.”
I’d never helped a person through pain like this before, at least not someone I cared about. It tore me up.
“I wish I could tell you it will all be okay, but things will get worse before they get better.” I ran my thumb across her cheek and wiped away a falling tear. “But I’m doing everything in my power to make your life sweet again. It’ll take some time, though.”
Cam nodded as her breath hitched. I put my arm around her shoulders and tucked her against me. I wasn’t good with this stuff, but she needed me to comfort her somehow.
“Would you lie with me?” she asked. “To help me sleep, I mean. You don’t have to.”
I tightened my grip on her. “Of course.”
“Thank you.”
Cam stripped down to her tank top and boxers before folding herself under the covers. I flicked the light off, then removed my shirt and jeans and hopped under the blanket on the other side. I left a safe distance between us, not wanting to assume how much contact she might need. But she shimmied toward me, rested her head on my shoulder, and placed her hand on my chest. I tucked my arm around her and brought her closer. She wasn’t seeking anything more than a warm body to hold for the night, and I could give her that.
And if I was honest with myself, I needed this too, because with everything happening so fast, the one thought dominating my mind was that I might have less than a week left with her. It wasn’t enough.
I covered Cam’s hand with my own. When I gave it a squeeze, she returned the gesture and didn’t let go. A short while later, she stilled, her breathing deep and steady.
Christ, it’d been a long time since I’d laid next to a woman. Couldn’t recall it being this incredible. The intensity of this thing between us was hard to ignore. I hadn’t expected her to see me beyond the killer I was, but I was grateful she did. And every time I made her smile, it was like a small piece of me was being put back together.
In the soft glow of the hallway light, she looked so peaceful. Not a hint of anguish or fear. I’d love to see the day when she looked untroubled for more than a few fleeting moments.
I wasn’t ready to give her up. When she boarded that plane, it would hit me hard, like a goddamned wrecking ball to the gut.
The only thing worse than that was Franky getting hold of Cam, and the sickening thought of what he’d do to her was enough motivation to send her very far away.