“I still want to help him, but he’s gone into hiding, and I don’t know where he is. Unless…” My fingers strummed against the counter. “Maybe you could locate him?”
If Shep had connections able to create fake passports and organize overseas safe houses, then perhaps he could help Justin too? It was asking a lot, but I wasn’t above trying, even if I had to beg.
He grunted. “For what purpose? So you can escape and find him?”
“I wouldn’t have to if you went to him instead.”
He frowned.
“Please, hear me out. The Mafia is going to track him down and kill him.” I found it difficult to talk around the lump in my throat. “Justin has made a lot of mistakes, but he wasn’t always such a screw-up. When we were kids, he was a good brother to me. I’m the only one looking out for him, and he’s the only family I have left. I have to do something.” Unshed tears stung the back of my eyes.
“It could take days to bring him in. I won’t leave you here on your own.”
“We could go together.”
He shook his head. “And risk you being identified to help the asshole that threw you under the bus? No. This is serious, Cam. If Franky finds you, he’ll—” He stopped himself from finishing that thought but held my gaze. The fear in his eyes shook me. “Trust me, there are worse outcomes than death if Franky gets his hands on you. Especially for a woman.”
His words sent a chill through me.
Yesterday I’d thought Shep was cold-hearted. Yet here he was, visibly alarmed with concern for my welfare. It surprised me he cared so much, but that sentiment didn’t extend to Justin. Was there any hope for my brother? My throat closed over as the tears I’d been trying to hold in spilled down my cheeks. I turned around and swiped them away fast. I didn’t want to look weak in front of Shep.
“Come on now. Don’t cry,” he said in a soothing tone. I heard him yank two tissues from a box before coming around to my side of the breakfast bar.
“Shit, sorry.” I took the tissues and blotted my face.
“You don’t need to apologize for being upset. Franky hasn’t found Justin yet. Maybe he was smart enough to get himself south of the border already. That’ll improve his chances.”
Shep had a point. Whatever Justin did to stay off Franky’s radar had worked so far. I wanted him safe, but that also meant I might never see him again. It would be enough for me if he lived through this, even if it hurt to imagine a life without my brother.
When another tear escaped, Shep leaned in and wiped it away with a shaky thumb. I drew in a sharp breath and my eyes snapped to his. Being this close to him made me nervous, but not in a fearful way. Not anymore.
His brow creased. “I’m sorry, Cam. For your brother, for Franky, for having to turn your life upside down like this. I’m sorry for all of it.”
I blinked several times, taken aback by Shep’s honest apology. It disappointed me he wasn’t willing to help Justin, but I wasn’t angry with him. Not after everything he’d done for me. To ask for more was selfish, even if I had done it out of desperation.
I was awful to Shep when I first arrived because I’d been terrified, but now I regretted some of my actions and words. This man had saved my life while risking his own. His efforts to help me were staggering, and I couldn’t think of anyone more dedicated or suited to the task. Shep was lethal. He knew the enemy, and he had the means to keep me safe. He was the perfect protector and had made my personal security his top priority.
I shook my head and gave him a wan smile. “You really are my fucked-up knight in shining armor.” I reached for his hand, the one that had wiped away my tears moments ago. His skin was warm and comforting, even though I knew what those hands were capable of. “Thank you, Shep. I mean it. I owe you my life.”
I wasn’t sure how I mustered the courage to touch him, but it was important I conveyed my gratitude.
He nodded, averting his gaze to our joined hands as though the contact made him uneasy. It wasn’t my intention to make the situation awkward, so I released my hold on him.
He cleared his throat before shoving both hands into his pockets. “So, I gotta split those logs now. Why don’t you pick a book from the shelf and come sit out on the deck? Might do you good to get some fresh air.”
I couldn’t blame him for wanting to redirect our conversation. Weepy women made me uncomfortable, too.
“Okay, sure.”
Shep did the dishes while I checked out the bookshelf. He had a few classics, but most were crime and thrillers. I settled on a worn paperback copy ofThe Count of Monte Cristoand held it up to show Shep. He gave me a nod before heading for the front door.
I followed him along the wrap-around deck to the side of the house where there was a single Adirondack chair. I sat, and Ranger stared at me like I was in his spot before he spun in a circle and laid on the floor.
Shep jogged down the stairs and retrieved an ax from the workshop. I watched as he placed a log on a large timber slab, then made quick work of splitting it into smaller pieces. He stacked them in a pile under the deck.
Although not overlooking the ranges, the view from this side of the cabin was still stunning. The fresh earthy scent of the woods was heaven to this city girl. Beyond the workshop, the tree line sloped down the mountain where the sound of flowing water caught my ear.
“There’s a river down there? Why didn’t I hear it yesterday?” I asked.