He folded his tattoo covered arms. “Cam,” he grumbled in warning.
“Can you pass on a message for me?”
Kane lowered his chin. “I already told you a bunch of times that’s a bad idea.”
“Okay, fine.” I held my hands in the air. “I know I’m supposed to give up on him, but I can’t. I wish it was as simple as that.”
He scrubbed a hand over his bearded face. “Fuck. He really did a number on you, didn’t he?”
I bit down hard on my bottom lip to stop from tearing up and stared at the shimmering blue waves over Kane’s shoulder. My chest still constricted whenever I thought about Shep. I needed way more time.
Kane sighed and pointed in my direction. “See? This is exactly why I don’t get attached. It’s too fucking messy.”
“You might be on to something there.” I tossed the plastic bottle in with the recyclables before leaning against the kitchen counter.
He sipped his espresso. “You need to get out more. Start having a life again.”
“I will. I’m looking into some short courses at a local college.” I wasn’t ready to start doing normal things, but I also knew it was important to try.
“That’s good.” Kane finished the coffee and took the empty cup to the dishwasher. “Everything else okay? Is there anything you need?”
Only the man I love and my old life back.I scrunched my nose and faked a grin. “Nah, I’m good.”
“See you tomorrow then.”
“Sure.” I followed him to the door and locked it after him.
After Kane left, I showered and dressed in ripped jeans, a white tank, and a warm, gray, knitted sweater. Winter in San Diego was milder than Philly, but December was its coldest month. I’d bought some basic wardrobe items when I first arrived, but had otherwise only purchased essentials. I didn’t need much and hadn’t touched the money Shep left me. Last week, I splurged and bought a tablet which I’d been using to research courses. I sat on the sofa filling in an online application for a photography class.
The doorbell chimed, startling me. I was still a little anxious since everything had happened. It was probably Hannah who lived next door, but I checked the security camera to be sure.
I covered my mouth as I jumped back from the image before me.
Holy shit!
I blinked and checked the screen again. My chest pounded and I froze.
Move your feet, girl. Jesus!
With tingling limbs, I walked to the door, then wiped my sweaty palms on my jeans. What was I waiting for? I steeled myself and opened the door slowly, trying not to let nerves get the better of me.
My heart stuttered at the sight of Shep. I hadn’t seen or heard from him in six long weeks.
I’d forgotten how much his presence dominated when he was near. His towering height, those muscular arms and broad shoulders. The black fitted tee he wore outlined an impressive torso, and his large hands were jammed into the pockets of faded blue jeans.
Shep looked… good. Better than good. He looked delicious, and I wanted to drag him inside and climb him like a tree. Instead, I stood motionless and mute, staring into his unreadable hazel eyes.
“Hey.” He scratched the back of his head while eyeing me with uncertainty. His light brown hair had grown so long he could almost tie it back.
My stomach fluttered at the sound of his gravelly voice. I’d missed him so much.
“Hey.” I rested one hand on the doorframe to steady myself.
Emotions warred inside me. Every cell in my body urged me to leap forward, throw my arms around him, and never let go. But things had changed since we were last together. Self-preservation was a priority nowadays because I’d finally gotten myself to a place where I could function without crippling heartache. The thought of being rejected by Shep again scared the crap out of me.
“What are you doing here?” I needed to know that more than I needed the air in my lungs. Hope was a dangerous thing to have when your heart was as fragile as mine.
He glanced at the ground between us before his eyes returned to mine. “I just… I needed to see you.”