29
Cameron
Westoodamongthemorning rush at Philadelphia Airport. I barely registered the people moving all around us. Some hurrying, others killing time. My eyes remained fixed on the man before me.
Shep held a relaxed stance with hands in pockets. He scanned the area in a way that didn’t draw attention. To onlookers, we might appear as a normal couple sharing parting words.
We were anything but that.
He handed me a boarding pass and a new model iPhone. “Leave the cell off until you get to San Diego.” He kept his voice low while issuing my final instructions. “When you arrive, there’ll be a driver waiting with a sign. He’ll take you to your apartment. And if you notice a scary looking blond guy with a beard and tattoos hanging about, that’s Kane. I’ve asked him to watch out for you. You can trust him.”
I tucked the cell into my backpack and nodded, struggling to pull my brain from the fog clouding it since I woke. Everything was moving so fast.
Shep didn’t suffer the same problem. He’d been up well before dawn taking care of business, including breaking into my house to retrieve my ID so I could pass airport security. He’d also hit the mall to buy me clothes, a backpack, and makeup to conceal my cuts and bruises.
This morning, I’d made difficult phone calls. The first was to the police to have myself removed from the missing persons register. Shep said it would make traveling less troublesome. I told the cops I’d left Philly in a hurry to help my brother and apologized for causing any trouble. After verifying my identity with a bunch of questions, they told me to report to the Philly PD. I declined, telling them I was out of state. I wouldn’t risk it. That station was too corrupt. And as far as I knew, I hadn’t broken any laws.
The harder call was to Tom. It broke my heart hearing the relief in his voice. I couldn’t imagine what he must’ve gone through. He already suspected I’d been dragged into Justin’s problems, and although I couldn’t elaborate, he knew it was serious. He had plenty of questions I couldn’t answer, but it was necessary to protect Shep and Justin.
Tom worried when I told him I had to stay out of Philly for an unknown amount of time. I apologized for the trouble it would cause him at work. I felt awful leaving him understaffed. And even though he assured me I’d have a job whenever I returned, I knew he’d soon have to hire someone to replace me.
I still had so much to ask Shep, so much I wanted to say before I left, but I was running out of time.
I adjusted the backpack on my shoulder. “Can I call you? How long do I have to stay in San Diego? Should I look for a job?” The questions came out in rapid fire.
Sensing my anxiety, he placed both hands on my shoulders. “Just take some time to decompress from everything you’ve been through. And when you’re ready, get out and explore a little. San Diego’s nice.”
It seemed ridiculous that I should vacation while Shep dealt with all the nasty things here. It also didn’t seem fair. But there’d be no arguing about the situation with this stubborn beast.
He dropped his hands from my shoulders. “And it’s probably best if we don’t keep in contact. If the Feds or the Mob are monitoring me, it could lead them right to you.”
I’d thought as much and was glad for Shep’s logical reasoning because I didn’t want to feel the sting of his rejection again.
I cursed myself for getting carried away. He felt something for me, I was sure of it. But not enough to take a leap of faith and let me into his life. What had I expected? He’d told me all along he preferred to be on his own and didn’t do relationships, so why had I foolishly looked for a way to keep us together? I didn’t blame him. He’d never led me on. I’d set myself up for this fall, and it hurt like hell.
He might believe he was like his dad and unworthy of love, but I didn’t buy it. Shep had shown me far too much kindness over the last week to think he’d be a neglectful partner. I wished I could’ve made him see that. I wished I had more time to try.
Gripping the boarding pass in my hand, I glanced at the gate as the last few passengers made their way through.
Shep exhaled a deep breath. “It might take a few months before it’s safe for you to come home. I’ll send word through Kane. And if things don’t go as planned, I’ll leave instructions with him for that, too.”
I didn’t like that Shep had a backup strategy. He’d always appeared confident of beating the odds and coming out on top. Why the uncertainty now? A heaviness settled in my stomach.
Shep’s eyes roamed my face. “I’m sorry it has to be like this.”
He wasn’t talking about sending me to San Diego. He meant the end of us.
“Me too.” I blinked back tears because I didn’t want to fall apart here.
The final boarding call was announced and my heart rate sped up. This was it. I wasn’t ready to leave him. I threw my arms around him, holding on tight and pressing my cheek against his chest. The firmness of Shep’s embrace told me this was difficult for him as well. I closed my eyes and inhaled one last deep breath of his scent.
I pulled back first and took Shep’s face in my hands. His hazel eyes flickered between mine as his jaw tensed beneath my palms. I kissed him, a firm press against his lips to soak up his warmth one final time, then rested my forehead against his. “Thank you,” I whispered. “I love you.”
Without waiting for a response, I released him and turned for the gate.
I meant those words, but they weren’t reciprocated, so my steps were fast and I didn’t look back.
La Jolla, San Diego