Trey grabs my hand. “Don’t.”
I glance over at him and see tears in his eyes. My heart aches for him. For me. For what could have been. But I can’t face it right now. I shake my head. “Goodnight, Trey.”
I jump out of the pickup and run to the side door. I’ve got to get away. To think. To decide what is best for everyone.
When I step inside the kitchen, Lillian is sipping out of a white porcelain mug. “You’re home early.”
“Yeah. I needed to get away.”
“Did he treat you badly?”
“No.” I glare at her. “Of course not. Trey’s perfect.”
“What are you running from?” She pins me in place with a scowl; only a sister can give. She kicks the chair across from her. “It’s time for a heart to heart.”
“Fine.” I flop into the wooden seat. “Let’s hear it.”
“What’s your problem? Trey is a gorgeous man who appears to still feel the same intense love he had for you in high school; which is pretty amazing considering you ghosted the man.”
“Yes, it is.” I snap a fingernail with my thumbnail.
She sits down her mug, and a tiny drop of liquid sloshes over the side. “What gives?”
“Damn it, Lillian. What if I’m bad luck?”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” She rolls he
r eyes and smacks my hand. “That’s an asshole talking. Our father is a complete and total prick, and you and I are nothing like him. He’s a total fucking loser.”
I chuckle. “Okay. You’ve got a valid point.”
“There’s no way you believe that, so what’s wrong?”
Fuck. Just what I need. My sister to smell bullshit from a mile away. If I was having this conversation with my father, he’d agree I was bad luck and we’d be done. My mom would pat my hand and give me a hug. And Gram? Gram would ask me to get her some tea or moonshine, and we’d rock on the porch swing. Lillian. She tells it like it is. Here goes nothing.
“What if I can’t have a baby? What if I lose another baby? It hurt so much the first time.” Tears fill my eyes, and I sniff. Then, the tears pour down my cheeks. “What if he leaves me because he wants children, and we can’t? I can’t lose him again.”
“Natalie?” She shakes her head and scoots out of her chair. When she gets to my side, she squats beside me. “Trey loves you. He’s never going to leave you. All you have to do is be strong enough not to leave him.”
“Shit.” I sniff again and cry harder. “That doesn’t help. I don’t deserve him. I was a total bitch.”
“Yes, you were, but you were young, stupid, depressed, and stupid.”
I snort. “That’s two stupids.”
“Because you were double stupid. I understand why you left, but he would have stood by you, and together, you would have figured it out. You are both smart.” She stands up. “Tea?”
“Sure.” I wipe my cheeks with the back of my hand.
After she sets the mug down on the wooden surface, she returns to her seat and clasps her hands together. “Colton and I struggled for seven years to get pregnant. It sucked. It was hard, but it was bearable because we were together.”
My mouth pops open. “I thought you waited on purpose.”
“No.” She shakes her head and looks at the wall behind me. “Each month, when my period came, my heart was ripped to shreds, but Colton was there to hold my hand and cry with me.” She turns. “It’s not easy, but together you can face anything. All you need is love. Do you love, Trey?”
It’s a pointless question. I’ve loved Trey my entire life. Now, I need to be the woman he deserves. The woman that no matter what won’t back down – who will be there for him when he needs me.
I did what I thought was right at eighteen. In hindsight, it was the wrong decision. Maybe? Was it? I did it for him, so it can never be completely wrong. Now, we both deserve a happily ever after, and I’m ready to grab it with both hands. “Yes, I love Trey Collins.”