It takes no time to climb the stairs to the third floor. I unlock the gate and hunt down my prey. Light laughter leads me to an exterior door, where I find Sera and Asher sitting on a patch of AstroTurf laid onto a large section of the rooftop deck playing catch.
The boy catches wind of me first. He drops the ball and scuttles behind Sera as if I’m a monster come to eat his heart.
“Good morning.” She greets me with a stiff smile. “Have you eaten? The eggs and bacon are cold, but the pastries are fresh if you like.” Her hand directs me to the table situated under a large canopy. Fresh juices, thermos of coffee, platters of fruit, and the aforementioned pastries decorate the surface.
I fetch myself a plate and bring it over to join Sera and her son on the ground. Michael’s blue eyes stare at me out of Asher’s face. “I can’t get over how much he looks like Michael.”
And not at all like you.
“He’s precious.” Sera drops a kiss on her son’s head. “Come out and give Jericho a proper hello, Asher. “
The little boy peeks at me from the safety of Sera’s arms. “Hullo,” he repeats, and then ducks back to bury his face in his mom’s chest.
“Asher is shy,” Sera explains. “Because Michael was sick, we didn’t get out much and now…” She trails off, a chagrined expression taking over.
“Now what?” I press.
“We don’t go out at all. Asher gets alarmed by unfamiliar places and noises, and me, well, I’m not much better.”
I hadn’t given much thought to how this place must be like a prison for them. I’ve been too wrapped up in feeling sorry for myself. “Then we will have to go places. Has Asher been to the zoo?”
“We went once when he was a little baby, but I doubt he remembers much. Do you remember the zoo, Asher? All the different animals in one place?”
The little boy shakes his head, not bothering to come out from his hiding place. Sera smooths a hand over the back of his hair.
My own hands form a fist. In a different universe, Asher would be mine. He wouldn’t be scared of me. He’d be sitting in my lap or throwing me the Nerf ball. Venom fills my mouth, and the urge to spill it out, cut her open, and poison her wounds is very real.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts out. “I’m sorry for all of this. For kissing you when I was about to get married. For putting you in the situation where you have to look after me. For everything. I’m sorry.” She bites her lip and then buries her face in Asher’s hair. “I’m trying to do everything right because Michael and Asher are the only family I’ve ever known, but I think I’m failing. Please don’t hate me. Please don’t make this place, this home, unsafe for us.”
The hate turns to ash on my tongue. “All right,” I find myself saying. “We’ll put the past behind us.”
Her head comes up, and luminous green eyes stare into my soul. “Do you mean that?”
Thick-throated, I can only nod. When she looks at me like this, I’d lay the world at her feet.
6
SERA
Relief blooms through my chest as a weight is lifted off of it. One that was far heavier than I even realized. My eyes fill with tears, but I fight them back. I don’t want to cry any more. I want to move forward. This last week has been hell. If not for Asher, I would have never made it.
“Mama happy?” Asher places his hands on my cheeks, giving me a giant smile.
“Yes, Mama is happy.” His question helps dry up my tears quicker. It’s almost impossible to remain upset when I’m around my little guy.
“You want to go to the zoo then?” Jericho asks.
“I’d love that.” I peek over at him.
While I’ve done my best to avoid this man, he has still ruled my every thought. At times, I was almost thankful for it. When I’m thinking about Jericho, I’m not thinking about Michael.
Jericho watches me. He always is. Even when I try to sneak in and out of the kitchen so that I don’t have to be around him for too long. I’ve found that whenever he enters a room, I’m quick to exit it. But that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the weight of his stare the entire time we’re in each other's presence. I have to admit that it confuses me. For someone who dislikes me so much, he stares at me a lot.
“I’ll make some arrangements. Does four work for you? I need to make some calls.” I nod. Michael always said Jericho was married to his work. And that it always comes before everything else. According to what Michael told me, he used to be the same way until Asher came into his life and changed all that. He’d finally started to live life until he sadly lost it all.