But he did stop because he stepped closer, and I felt the tip of his cock press against my slit. I expected him to pause, or to enter me slowly, but it was a foolish expectation. Without warning, he plunged forward in one, hard thrust. I cried out as he tore right through the thin membrane inside me, gripping the edges of the desk in response to the pain and the sensation of being filled beyond capacity.
He froze, a panic-stricken look on his face, but just as I felt him start to withdraw, I wrapped my legs around his hips to hold him there. I didn’t want him to stop. Every second now, the pain eased more and my body began to relax around him. I pulled him closer with my legs and tilted my hips up to meet him, and the panic and indecision on his face faded as he groaned and thrust inside me again.
I could tell by the way his muscles trembled he was trying to exercise restraint, but the way his body was thrusting hard and fast, I knew he wasn’t succeeding. I liked it though, more than I ever would have guessed, and quickly the pressure began to build. It drove me higher and higher with every thrust. And while I’d thought he’d been doing a poor job of exercising restraint, I realized quickly I’d been wrong when his pace increased and he thrust into the hilt over and over again. He leaned forward and cupped my tits, squeezing them and rolling my nipples between his fingers.
My breathless cries grew louder as he drove me higher, but eventually, there was no higher to go. I teetered on the edge; just a little bit longer…
He leaned back up and rubbed my clit, fast and firm. The world ceased to spin and my entire body splintered into a kaleidoscope of rapturous pleasure.
Ryan continued to thrust, once…twice…and then his hips jolted forward and he drove in deeper than I thought possible, stilling as he gripped my hips to hold me tight to him.
I came back down from cloud nine quickly as he withdrew from my body. Something was wrong—aside from the fact I’d just done the very thing I’d sworn I wasn’t going to do. He reached for his jeans, tossed on the floor by the desk, and slipped them on. And then his shirt. He didn’t look up at me, and he was very quiet. While I didn’t have any more practice with the after-sex conventions than I did with the sex itself, something wasn’t right here. I suddenly felt more awkward than I ever had in my life, and I got up and grabbed for my dress as quickly as I could.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked after he’d buttoned his shirt in silence.
Of all the after-sex conversation I had envisioned, that wasn’t it. If I was being honest, I’d have to admit that a small part of me had worried that his interest would plummet if I’d told him I was an inexperienced virgin. But he didn’t sound disinterested, he sounded unhappy.
“It wasn’t like I came here planning to…to…” I couldn’t quite finish the sentence. “And besides, I…I didn’t think it would matter,” I said defensively.
“You thought it wouldn’t matter?” he said, his tone kind of icy.
“Yes, that’s what I thought,” I said, my embarrassment making me even edgier. “What d
ifference did it make to you? It wasn’t your virginity you were losing? Was it that terrible being with someone so…inexperienced?”
He just stared at me and I could see the muscles of his jaw twitching as if he was clenching very hard.
Ouch—that hurt. Apparently yes, it had been that terrible. “My apologies then, for subjecting you to such an unfavorable experience.”
My cheeks were flaming red, and I wished like hell I could erase the past hour. But since I couldn’t, all I could do was get out of there as fast as possible. I made a beeline for the door with my chin raised high, doing my damnedest to keep my crumbling dignity intact.
Back in my room, I sagged against the door. I had never been so humiliated in my life. I should have kept my damn secret to myself and stayed as far away as I could from Ryan Cade. I’d known better! I felt like crying, but I flopped back on the bed and gritted my teeth instead. I wouldn’t let it happen. There was no way in hell I was going to cry. A McKenna never cries, never shows weakness. I was not going to be the first McKenna to break that rule, and I certainly wasn’t going to break it over an embarrassing mistake, no matter how much I wished I could undo it.
The worst part of the whole mess, I realized as I laid there blocking out images of Ryan naked and towering over me, as I’d thought it had been incredible. I’d always imagined sex would feel good—there had to be a good reason for all the hype surrounding it—but I’d never imagined it could be like…that.
Damn it! I didn’t want to think about it. I wanted to forget it ever happened. I didn’t want to remember what his hands and lips had felt like on my body. And I desperately wished I could ignore the vague ache in my nether regions from the way he’d thrust deep inside me. But as I continued to lay there, willing sleep to pull me under, I remembered every second of it. His hands…his mouth…his cock…
Damn it!
6
Ryan
Well, I certainly hadn’t handled that very well. Hell, I’m not sure I’d ever handled anything more poorly.
I was angry, yes, but I wasn’t angry with Emma. Finding out she was still a virgin had reinforced just how young she was, and how I had no business being with her…and how fucking her had absolutely, unequivocally, without a doubt been the most erotic sex I’d ever had. Knowing she’d never been fucked before, that I’d been the first to fill her…hell, I was getting hard again just thinking about it.
But now what was I supposed to do? Fire her? Again, my conscience had qualms with that after having lured her away from another job. All right, so what were my options?
I could apologize—it seemed like the most appropriate thing to do. But thinking about going to her room now to tell her I was sorry for the way I’d reacted seemed like a bad idea. I couldn’t help but wonder if she’d still be dressed. Or was she lying naked in bed? Would her body still be aching from what I’d done?
I hadn’t had the faintest idea she was a virgin—the possibility hadn’t once crossed my mind—so I hadn’t exactly been gentle with her. And while I didn’t like that I might have hurt her, the idea that her body would be reminding her incessantly that I’d been deep in her pussy excited me more than I cared to admit. So much, that I almost did it; I almost strode out of the office and down the hall to her room. What the hell was wrong with me?
Clinging to what shreds of self-restraint I had left, I stayed where I was. She probably really was still sore, and even if she didn’t tell me to go to hell—which she probably would—I’d be an even bigger ass if I pushed her for another round tonight. But damn, I wanted back in that pussy.
Unfortunately, her physical discomfort wasn’t the only reason I had to stay away. I wasn’t oblivious to the fact that virgins were dangerous territory, that they were far more likely to form emotional attachments—attachments that I had no place for in my life. It was the number one reason a guy like me avoided virgins like the plague. Emma was supposed to have been a good fuck, and nothing more. And she’d certainly been that. I had no doubt I’d never forget it, but it was best just to move on.
And I figured Emma herself would make it easier to do that. After the way I’d reacted, it was fairly safe to say that if I just left it alone, there was no way she’d be hoping for what happened to develop into anything more. Hell, she might just slam the door in my face if I showed outside her room now.