“After the girls, we tried for one more because you wanted a brother so badly. Did you know that?”
I wipe away more tears that won’t stop. “No, you never told me that.”
“You asked so many times when you were going to have a brother that we decided to try to get you one.”
“Thank God he wasn’t another sister.”
Dad laughs. “Aw, come on now. You love them, too.”
“Yes, I do, but I’m so, so thankful for Milo. I have been every day of his life.”
“Even when he was pestering the living crap out of you, following you around, getting into your stuff, borrowing your clothes, teasing your girlfriends?”
“Even then.”
“Remember the time that kid was bullying him in school?”
“That was one of my finest moments as a big brother.”
“Tell me that story. I never get tired of hearing it.”
We’ve gone over this a thousand times, but I indulge him once more because I know he’s trying to help me with this walk down memory lane. “Milo was coming home from school every day and acting super weird. Wouldn’t talk to anyone, wouldn’t eat dinner, wasn’t sleeping. I finally got him to tell me about this kid who was picking on him, calling him fatso and trying to steal his glasses. I wanted to go beat the shit out of the fucking bastard.”
“Just like now, right?”
“Yeah.”
“So, what’d you do about the bully?”
“We found out he worked at McDonald’s, so Milo and I went there one Saturday for lunch, and I stared at the kid the whole time we were there. I never blinked.”
“And he got the message?”
“Oh, hell yeah,” I say on a laugh. “He nearly shit himself when he realized he had my full attention.”
“I remember being so, so proud of how you handled that. It was perfect. You didn’t say a word to him, but you put him on notice that Milo wasn’t to be messed with.”
“That didn’t mean I wasn’t dying to pound his ass into the pavement.”
Dad laughs. “I was right there with you when I found out what that little punk had been saying to Milo, but the point is, you handled it with tremendous maturity and showed your brother he will always have an advocate in you.”
“No one ever bothered him again after that.”
“Because they were scared shitless of his menacing big brother.”
“Damned straight.”
“You’re the best big brother those three ever could’ve asked for. You’re always there for them when they need you, and so of course it kills you that you couldn’t have been there for Milo last night. But I want you to be thinking about all the times you have been there for him and try to let that balance out the one time you weren’t. Can you do that?”
“I can try.”
“Try hard. Don’t bring any more problems down on yourself or Sofia or the people who love you both by doing something stupid. You’re too smart for that, Nico.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I am.”
“You are. Keep the big picture in mind.”
“I will, thank you, Dad. Not sure how you can see so much with one look at me, but I appreciate you talking me off the cliff.”