“See you then.”
I end the call feeling slightly better than I did before I talked to my dad.
I’m going to be better for my family, too. I’ve missed more Sunday brunches than I’ve attended, skipped birthday parties I didn’t feel like going to and have been generally lackluster in my devotion to my family. Yes, I stepped up for my parents over these last few months while my mom was going through treatment, but I can do better. Be better.
That starts today.
SOFIA
I’m so tired, I can’t see straight, but I play in the pool with Mateo for more than an hour, encouraging him to practice his swimming. The first therapist we worked with said swimming would be very good for his muscle development and fine motor skills, but I haven’t had regular access to a pool until now. I can already see how swimming will be excellent therapy for him, but I still feel like we shouldn’t be here.
Gladys sits by the side of the pool, sipping from a tall glass of lemonade and reading a magazine she brought from home. She told me to go lie down, but my mind is racing too much for sleep.
“Are you ready for some lunch?” I ask Mateo when I see him starting to tire.
“Yes, Mama. I’m hungry.”
It’s such a relief to hear him say that, as his lack of appetite has been another concern since his illness. Some days, I’ve relied on chocolate-flavored protein shakes to keep him nourished.
We get out of the pool and dry off before going inside, where I make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich that I serve with carrot sticks. He eats them first, laughing at the crunchy sound they make.
After lunch, he agrees to some quiet time before we swim again later. I have him change into a dry bathing suit and set him up with some books in his bed. I remind him again that he’s not to go anywhere near the pool without an adult with him.
“I know, Mama. I won’t.”
“Thank you for being Mama’s good boy.” I kiss his forehead and leave him with his books.
“Mama?”
I turn back to him. “Yes, honey?”
“Are we going to live here now?”
“No, we’re just staying for a little while.”
“Oh. Okay.”
I can see the disappointment in his expression. He likes it here. Of course he does. Nico’s house is a mansion compared to our tiny apartment—and he has a pool. But this isn’t our home, and I can’t let Mateo get too comfortable here.
“Mama’s going to take a shower. Come get me if you need anything.”
“I will.”
I cross the hall into Nico’s room and head for the shower to wash off the horror of the last eighteen hours. When I think of Milo in the ICU, fighting for his life and mobility because of my ex-husband… I begin to tremble so violently I fear I’m going to come apart. How will Nico ever again see me as anything other than the woman who nearly got his precious younger brother killed?
Just when things between us were moving in a wonderful direction, Joaquín ruined it for me. I should be used to it by now, but this… This feels like too much on top of the things he’s already taken from me. I was finally getting back to feeling like myself, the self I was before he decided who and what I was going to be for seven endless years, when he struck again, making me feel like I’ll never be free of him.
I’m wrapped in a towel, standing before the mirror, staring at the face that is at once the most familiar to me and at the same time looks like a stranger. Who is this woman? What does she want? I was on my way to answering those questions when Joaquín pulled the rug out from under me once again.
Nico comes in through the door I left open so I’d hear Mateo and stands behind me, putting an arm around my waist and his chin on my shoulder.
With one quick look, I can see that he’s been crying, and my knees want to buckle under me. “Milo.”
“Is awake, alert and responding to pain stimuli in all his extremities.”
My English fails me with stimuli and extremities. “Wait, so that means…”
“He can feel things in his arms and legs. We don’t know any more than that right now, but Jason says that’s very positive news. And Miguel called. They found Joaquín and Diego hiding with the car in a shipping container on Diego’s property. They’re in custody and will be held without bail on attempted murder charges.”