“I know that, but I still want to.”
For the longest time, we simply stare at each other, breathing the same air, which crackles with an electric energy that I’ve never experienced with anyone else. When he reaches for me, I go willingly, my mouth fusing with his, our bodies aligning as arms and legs intertwine. During the hottest kiss of my life, I’m aware enough to know that everything is changing, and I’m allowing it—and loving it.
NICO
She’s the sweetest person I’ve ever known, and I meant what I said about wanting to make things better for her. I hate that her life has been such a struggle up to now. I hate the way her mother treated her, the way Joaquín abused her, that she lost her scholarship and how everything has been so difficult from the start. She never stood a chance with her only parent working against her.
As one kiss spins into another, I’m desperate to show her how much I care about her. But I don’t want her to think this is all I want, even if I want it with a fiery desire I didn’t know I was capable of until I felt it for her. I remember wondering, as recently as when Carmen fell for Jason and Maria fell for Austin, why people limit themselves to one person for the rest of their lives when there are so many people to meet and experience.
Now I get it. If this is what Carmen feels for Jason or Maria feels for Austin or Dee for Wyatt, I understand why they’d go all in with one person. It’s a feeling like nothing else, the highest of highs, and all I want is as much of it as I can get for as long as I can have it. Pulling back from the kiss pains me.
Her eyes open slowly, and she blinks me into focus. “Why did you stop?”
“I don’t want you to think this is all I want.”
“I want it, too, or I wouldn’t be in your bed.”
“I don’t want to rush you into something you might not be ready for.”
“We’ve been leading up to this for months.”
“Yeah, I suppose we have. I want you to know…” I cup her face as she looks up at me with big brown eyes that seem to see right through to the very heart of me.
“What do you want me to know?”
“That I really, really, really care about you. More than I’ve ever cared about anyone.”
“I feel that, Nico. I see it in the way you look at me, how you touch me, how you care for Mateo. And I feel the same way about you, even if I still think it would be better for you not to be involved with me when my life is such a mess.”
“No, it wouldn’t be better, and your life isn’t a mess. Your ex-husband’s life is a mess, but I don’t want to talk about him.”
“What do you want to talk about?” she asks with the biggest smile I’ve ever seen from her.
“You and me and us.”
“What about us?”
“This.” I kiss her neck and down to her chest while tugging on her tank. “Can we lose this?”
“Uh-huh.” She sits up and draws the garment up and over her head, leaving full, gorgeous breasts on full display.
With my hands on her hips, I lean over her as she lies back and puts her arms around my neck. “You’re so fucking sexy. You have no idea how crazy you’ve made me from the first time I ever saw you.”
“All that time?”
“Mmm.” My lips can’t get enough of her soft skin. “I haven’t been with anyone else since I met you. I also wanted you to know that.”
With her fingers buried in my hair, she directs me to the hard tip of her left breast.
I have a whole new appreciation for the expression died and gone to heaven, because that’s exactly what this is like. I’m so fucking hard, I feel like my cock is going to burst from wanting her so desperately. I could live right here, with my face buried in her perfect breasts, for the rest of my life and be happy. I want to make her feel so good, she won’t ever need anyone but me forever.
Though I’m desperate for her, I take my time and kiss her everywhere. I bury my tongue and fingers inside her and make her come twice, one right after the other, leaving her gasping and panting and begging me to give her what we both want more than anything. I grab a condom from the bedside table drawer and roll it on as she watches me, her face flushed, her lips swollen, her body ready for me.
I want to ask her again if she’s sure about this, but I don’t. She knows she can tell me to stop at any time, and I would, even if it’d kill me to stop.
She runs her hands down my back and pulls me toward her, wrapping her legs around my hips as I sink into her heat.
Holy. Shit.