But as his foot disappears into the black interior, my heart compresses. The smile on my face drops hard as I realize that, with the way things are going, this will likely be the last time we ever see each other.
That sudden revelation propels me into action; I dart forward, bend low, and wrap my arms around his neck. His entire body tenses at the unexpected hug, but then his stiff arms slowly loosen and wrap around my back. “What is it, Lace?” he whispers.
I shake my head, cheek rubbing against his thick hair. Crow lets go, and I spin away before he can catch a glimpse at my visible heartache. Hands plastered against the blackened rear window of my wagon, I suck in watery breaths, begging the Universe to hurry and send Crow on his way.
Behind me, his door closes, and the engine thunders to life. Thank the stars. Eyes glossy, I spin around, pageant wave, and blow him a kiss as he backs up and pulls forward to turn the corner.
Not even a minute after he is no longer in sight, my phone vibrates against the top of my wagon.
:Crow: The seat and crib are a loan, Lacinda. I expect to get them back one day.
With no point in responding, lest my heart break even more, I dip my head down and peek into one of the tiny slits at the top of the window between the visor and rubber weather stripping to check on Reece before towing the crib inside the saloon in preparation for creating her a little hidey hole for during the meeting in the morning. Oh, and to check on Zane, I suppose.
Once those things are taken care of and I am snug and safe back in my home on wheels, another text comes through.
:Crow: If you need anything else, you better call me. I mean it.
Just to humor him, I provide a simple response this time.
:Me: Yes, Sir. *salutes*
I set my alarm for a few hours from now, place the phone into the small side compartment next to my mattress, reach down into the crack behind my front seat, and wrangle out my weekend bag. When I unzip it, the orange pill bottle I confiscated from Jess a couple nights ago is on the very top, nested in a bundle of clothes.
Out of muscle memory, my fingers loop around the cool plastic, and I press open the lid. I only spare a quick glance at Reece and think for a fleeting moment, “What are you doing, Lace?” before tilting a few pills into the palm of my hand, popping them into my mouth, and dry swallowing.
“Just for now. Just so I can relax,” I justify, whispering the plea high into the Universe as the rough, bitter pills scrape down my throat. “Just this once.”
Curled on my side, I scoop Reece against my body and sing us a lullaby. One that goes an awful lot like the string of poem lines Coty texted me.