“Appreciate it. Call you soon.” I end the call and toss my phone aside. I need a damn drink and a smoke. I nab a bottle of my old pal Jim Beam, my tin box with my weed stash, and go to the back deck. Loneliness is nothing a little puff puff pass and liquor can’t cure.
I sit out on the deck drinking and smoking contemplating where we go from here. Do we separate? Divorce? Split custody of the kid? Pam deserves better than me. I’m doing to her the same shit my old man pulled with my mother. Stepping out on her while claiming to love her. Making promises he never intended to keep. I grew up watching my mother destroy herself chasing after that bastard. Only Pam isn’t chasing after me. She’s washed her hands. I think she gave up on me way before I cheated.
I drink until I can’t think any more.
I doze off a while and when I wake, I am no closer to getting my shit together. I straggle into the house, kicking my boots off and undressing as I go. I get my jeans off and slide into bed at the sound of the back door opening.
Chapter Eight
Against my sister’s wishes Roane drove me home. The second I spotted Link’s motorcycle I immediately regretted the decision. I’m not ready to face him, but I can’t run from him or our problems. At least if he’s here I know he’s not with someone else as pathetic as it sounds. I can’t bear the thought of him with another woman even if all I want to do is cut off his balls and feed him to him whenever I look at him.
“You need me to walk in?” Roane offers as the truck idles.
I shake my head. “No, but thanks. I’ll be okay.”
“You need anything no matter the day or time you call me, I’ll be there.”
“You’re a good guy, Roane. Wish there were more like you out there.”
“You’ve got one in there. He just needs reminding.”
I shoot him a weak smile and tug my purse strap up my shoulder. “Later.”
“Give him hell.” He grins.
I nod and exit the vehicle, slowly trudging to the back door. I wanted to pick Connor up. Zoe said she had just put him, down and she’d bring him home in the morning if I wanted. It’s probably best he isn’t here for this. It’s late and none of the lights are on. He could’ve parked his bike here and caught a ride with someone else. My heart squeezes tight in my chest at the idea.
The moment I step through the back door I trip over the asshole’s big
ass boots, catch my shoulder on the wall, and take a knee to the floor. “Shit,” I hiss with a wince at the pain.
The lamp on the nightstand in our bedroom flicks on and there he is. Part relief and part heartache burns through my veins. I’m torn between going to him or telling him to get the fuck out.
“You good?”
“A little drunk,” I admit. I drank more than I should have, but I wanted to forget if only for a few hours. “How long you been home?” I push up off the floor and drop my purse on the washer.
“A while. Gotta tell ya, babe. Don’t like the feel of this place without you and little man filling it up with your scent and sounds.”
Okay. That’s hella sweet. My insides warm at his words. I bite back the gushy emotions swirling through me. “I’m just gonna get ready for bed. I’ll take the couch,” I tell him as I enter the bedroom kicking off my shoes by the closet.
I steal a glance over my shoulder at him.
“You’re not sleeping on the damn couch.” He throws the sheet back exposing his naked glory. My attraction to him has never been a problem. Dark ink in random patterns covers a good portion of his torso. He totally has more of a Dad Bod now, but he’s still sexy.
“It’s fine. I don’t mind.”
“Maybe you don’t but I do.” He stalks toward the dresser, opening one of the drawers, and bringing out a pair of flannel pajama pants. “I’ll take the couch.”
“Okay.” I gulp and nod. In all the years we’ve been married that man has never taken the couch. Was always an agreement between us. That mad or not we shared our bed. I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Link nabs his pillow and heads down the hall to the living room. I take my sleepwear into the bathroom and push back the sadness threatening to overwhelm me. I asked for space and he’s respecting my wishes. I should be happy at the fact, but I’m anything but glad about it.
Taking my time, I go through the motions. Brushing my hair. Washing my face. Brushing my teeth. Changing into clean panties and a thin cotton nightie. I pray that he’s already asleep, but when I exit the bathroom, I hear the Tv humming and the kitchen light is on.
I stare at the empty side of his bed as I lay on my side, hugging my pillow. Closing my eyes, I beg for sleep to claim me. Link continues to bang around in the kitchen, and I curse under my breath. Noisy asshole.
Curiosity forces me out of bed and down the hall to the source of all the racket. I fold my arms over my chest to hide my nipples hardening at the sight of him in those damn flannel pants looking like my every fantasy. Broody, sexy, and bare chested. The love of my life.