23
Mercedes
“How are you feeling?” Solana’s eyes move over me in appraisal as she takes a sip of her tea.
“Same as yesterday.” I offer her an amused smile, but she doesn’t return it. “And the day before that, and the one before that too.”
I don’t mention that Judge has been acting weird all week, leaving me vague instructions to get ready to go to the IVI compound this afternoon. Other than that, he’s been keeping himself busy, and I have too.
“Mercedes, this is stressing me out.” Solana sets her cup aside and glances at Georgie for backup. “You won’t be able to hide this forever.”
“I know.” I shift on my seat, smoothing the hem of my dress over my legs. I’m already paranoid that someone will notice any day now that I’m dressing differently. That my stomach is softer and rounder.
“Do you really think Judge has no clue?” Georgie butts in.
“I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m just getting soft in the middle,” I mumble. “I don’t know. I’m not parading around naked in front of him in broad daylight, and I’ve avoided letting him near my belly. Let’s just leave it at that.”
“But you are still getting naked with him,” Solana says. “He’s going to notice any day now, whether it’s in the dark or not.”
I nod, accepting that they’re right. I was slender to begin with, so that’s worked to my advantage, but the clock is ticking, and I can’t forget that.
“So?” Georgie looks at me expectantly.
“Soon,” I choke out. “I’m figuring it out. My niece’s baptism is in a couple of weeks. I don’t want to do anything rash before then.”
Solana doesn’t look convinced, and Georgie is lost in his own thoughts. Neither one of them has any idea why I’m hesitating, but I can’t stop thinking about my conversation with Judge. He opened up to me. He let me in, even if it was only for a little while. It feels like a slap in the face to leave him now, but what choice do I have? I know it doesn’t change anything. He was giving me an explanation, not an opening to change his mind. If there’s one thing I’ve figured out during my time with him, it’s that Lawson Montgomery is not a man to be swayed once he’s come to a decision. And I don’t have the luxury of time to wait him out even if he was. I made this decision on my own, and I’ll face the consequence on my own.
“Do you love him?”
Solana’s innocent question sucks all the air from the room. I shake my head automatically in my default response. A De La Rosa doesn’t show vulnerabilities like that. But even as I tell myself as much, it feels like a lie.
“That must be the reason,” she says. “You’re holding back. Are you sure there isn’t something—”
The sound of the front door slamming interrupts her thoughts, and we all swivel our heads just in time to see Judge stalking into the sitting room. When he sees Solana and Georgie on the sofa, his eyes flare with irritation.
“Not today,” he growls. “You two have to leave. Now.”
“Judge.” I glare at him as I rise to my feet, but he doesn’t seem to hear me, or if he does, he doesn’t show it.
“I need you both to leave right now,” he clips out. “That’s not a request. You can come back another day. Mercedes and I have somewhere to be.”
“They aren’t going anywh—”
My mouth snaps shut when his gaze moves to mine, and I know without a doubt I’ve never seen him like this. I can’t tell what it is exactly, but something isn’t right. I can feel it in the tension vibrating from him. The hard set of his jaw and the uncertainty in his eyes. He looks guarded, but there’s something else too. Nervous, I think. And I have never once seen Judge nervous.
I swallow as he slices a finger in the direction of the door. “Mercedes, your brother will be here any minute. Get upstairs, now.”
“Santi?” I choke out his name. “Is he okay?”
“Goddammit,” Judge barks. “There’s not time for questions. Please.”
He drags a hand through his hair, and I nod, offering an apologetic glance at Solana and Georgie as they rise from their seats.
“It’s okay,” Solana says, but all the while, she’s glaring at Judge. “We’ll come back tomorrow. But text me tonight so I know you’re okay.”
Judge doesn’t miss her inference, and Georgie shoots him a sharp look too. I feel like I should defuse this situation before things get any worse, but Judge doesn’t give me a chance. He grabs me by the arm and hauls me from the room, calling out for Lois to escort my guests out. I give them one last fleeting glance before we turn the corner, and Judge is snapping at me again.
“I told you to be ready for this afternoon.”
“I am.” I try to yank my arm out of his grasp, but his hold is too tight. “Jesus, what’s the big deal? I thought we were just going to a Society event. Why is Santi coming here?”
He doesn’t answer me as he drags me into my old room and plunks me onto the chair. His eyes are wild as they move around the space as if he’s only now realizing none of my stuff is in here.
“Stay put,” he demands.
I frown at his retreating form and then promptly disobey him by scurrying over to the bed to hide the small burner phone Solana and Georgie brought me. There’s enough time to stuff it under the pillow before I hear Judge’s footsteps, and I dash back to the chair. He enters the room right as I’m recrossing my legs, eyes me suspiciously, and then starts to offload some of my things.
I stare at him like he’s lost his mind as he tosses a few dresses onto the bed, a necklace onto the table, and one of my books onto the nightstand. And then it all falls into place. Is this why he’s so out of sorts? Because he’s terrified Santiago will realize Judge has been fucking me every night in his bedroom? The realization stings, but then, when doesn’t it? Everything Judge dishes out comes with a side of pain.
“I suppose it wouldn’t do to have him see I’m sleeping in your bed every night?” I observe bitterly.
“No, it wouldn’t fucking do,” he clips out.
God, he really is in a mood today. And now I am too. So much so that even when Santi appears a moment later, hovering in the doorway, I can’t seem to wipe the irritation from my face. He sees it, frowns, and then looks at Judge.
“Everything okay?”
“Yes,” Judge grits out. “I’m just trying to get Mercedes ready.”