He drags it away, unveiling me, grabbing me by the chin and forcing my gaze to his.
“You said it’s what you wanted.” Annoyance and shame color his tone.
“I was wrong.” The words heave from my chest. “You win, Judge. You fucking win.”
There’s a long moment of silence, and I use it to gather my strength.
“Tell me it was a lie, or let me walk away forever. Let me go.”
His arms tighten around me, and he shakes his head. “I’m not letting you go.”
“I won’t stay.” My voice wavers, but there’s no doubt I mean it. “I will fight and claw every day until I get out of here. Even if I have to kill myself to do it.”
“No.” The word lashes from his tongue so violently that I can’t deny he means it too. “You aren’t leaving me.”
“Why do you care?” I rasp. “I’m nothing. You said so yourself.”
“You aren’t nothing.” He’s shaking when he brushes his fingers over my face with more affection in one touch than I’ve ever had in my whole life. “You already know that. It’s why you wanted to play this stupid fucking game in the first place.”
“I don’t know that.” My eyes close so I can’t look into his, get lost in them. “What you said felt real. Too real.”
“How does this feel?” He cups the back of my head and kisses me, melting some of my resolve. “How does it feel every time you steal a piece of my soul like the little thief you are?”
Another kiss. I don’t kiss him back, but I can feel the tension dissolving between us, regardless of how hard I try to cling to it.
“How does it feel to know nobody else has ever had my kiss?” he asks, his fingers digging into me.
When I open my eyes to meet his, the shock of his words tugs at something deep inside me.
“Is that true?”
“What do you think?” He grabs my ass and yanks me closer, making me straddle him. “I’ve broken every goddamned rule with you.”
“Except the one that matters most,” I whisper.
His answer is to kiss me again, and maybe I shouldn’t let him off so easy, but I do. I think Judge has given me more truths in the last two minutes than he’s ever given anyone. And right now, there’s a burning ache deep inside me only he can satiate.
“Show me,” I murmur against his lips, my hands moving over the broad expanse of his chest. “Show me what you really want.”
A growl vibrates from his lips into mine as he lifts my body and slides me down his cock, settling me on top of him. My fingers find their home in his hair, and he gives me something new, something different. It’s no less intense, but it’s softer, the way his lips move over my jaw and down my throat, sucking at the sensitive skin there.
“I took you because I couldn’t help myself.” The confession spills free on a ragged breath. “Because you are so goddamn addictive, you’ve fucking cursed me the way you curse all men, little monster.”
I whine against him as his palms settle on my ass, pivoting my hips so I’m rocking down over his thick cock, splitting me open in more ways than one.
“There’s no comparison.” He drags his nose down my neck, inhaling me. “You’ve eclipsed everyone else. Blinded me to their faces, their memories. Is that what you want to hear?”
I bite back a whimper and nod. “If that’s the truth.”
“It is,” he answers roughly. “Goddammit, Mercedes, how can you not see it?”
Another tear leaks from my eye, and he leans up to kiss it away. At that moment, the last of my resistance fades away, and I fall into him, squeezing his face in my palms. I kiss him, and he grunts at its savagery, returning it with equal passion by fucking me like it’s his last day on earth.
Somewhere between us are the words we can’t bring ourselves to say. I’m trapped, and so is he. We both know it. We’re drowning in it. Drunk on it. Desperate for another fix. These feelings are too tangible to ignore, and the more we give in, the more I’m aware that we feed off each other. And I fear that only one of us will be strong enough to walk away in the end. I know when I shatter around him and look into his eyes, it won’t be me.
I also know when Judge tips his head back, groaning as he comes inside me, he isn’t just going to break me. He’s going to destroy me.