I crawl up to him and he cradles me in his arms and he kisses me again, tasting himself. And I don't know if this is how it was supposed to go. I never played it out like this, this fantasy. But whatever this is, Reuben and me in his bed, in his cabin nestled in the woods alone, I feel like it's more than a fairy tale. More than a fantasy. I feel like this could be my life. My tomorrow. I feel like Reuben could be my forever.
9
REUBEN
Meadow's eyes are locked on mine. We're both panting, sweating, alive.
"Damn," I say, "are you feeling okay?"
She laughs. Her shoulders shake and I kiss the skin of her shoulder bone. "I'm better than okay. I feel deliriously happy right now," she says. She laughs again, pressing herself against me tighter, hooking her leg over mine.
"I'm sorry if I just got a little crazy there, but I was excited. Eager," I say.
She laughs. "It’s okay. Yes. I was curious too."
"And?" I say, running my hand over her long blonde hair. "What did you think?"
"I think I have no idea how that is going to fit inside of me, but I want to try."
"Already?" I ask her.
She nods. "Now am I the one who’s way too eager?" she asks. She closes her eyes. "Oh my God. I'm trying to not overthink everything that's happening right now. But Reuben, you're making me feel..." She groans happily. "I just feel so good. I mean, I know people are into sex, but that was... I guess I get it now."
I chuckle. "You're adorable."
"Not too naive for you?"
"No. You're curious. The fact that you basically mounted me and said ‘I'm going to give you a blowjob,’ I mean, that's fucking hot, Meadow. You got to know that."
She smiles. "Okay. I wasn't going for hot. I was going for honest. I wanted to do that, to feel you, to taste you." She swallows, licking her lips. "The way you tasted me."
"Hey," I say, "I have an idea. We could take a shower before..."
She smiles. "That actually sounds amazing.”
“After that, I have that hot tub on the back porch."
Now she's grinning. "Okay. So everything about this night is sounding perfect." She laughs.
"Good thing we ate such a good meal. Otherwise, you'd be working up an appetite."
"We can have dessert later."
Her eyes sparkle. "Maybe I can be your dessert." She rolls out of the bed, immediately wincing. "Oh, okay. I forgot my ankle."
"Damn," I say, "maybe we shouldn't take a shower. That could be a little difficult."
"True." She cringes.
"Okay. We can rethink this. Hot tub first?" I say.
"I'm game if you are."
I pick Meadow up by her waist, throwing her over my shoulder, smacking her ass. I've never felt so liberated, so free. But right now I do. This girl, she brings out a part of me that's been buried. That's maybe never seen the light of day. I'm not trying to compare people, but she's different than Beth. Beth was comfortable, safe, quiet. Meadow is a beating heart, an unstoppable force. When I look at her, she makes me feel so goddamn happy.
"Okay. You're going to sit right here," I say, setting her on the bench as I pull back the top of the hot tub, revealing warm bubbling water. I turn on the jets and then I take her hand. "Can you get in without putting weight on your foot?"
She nods. "If I can lean on you."
"Of course you can," I say. I help her in, lifting her up, and she sinks into the water. Back here facing the woods, it's totally private and we’re alone. And I'm reminded that I'm glad I texted my mom earlier saying I was having company tonight. She texted me back saying Fig had already told her, Plum too.
"What are you thinking?" Meadow asks.
I tell her about the text exchange and she smiles. "Okay. So I guess there really are no secrets in your family, either."
"Not at all. Speaking of, is your family going to be expecting you to be back tonight?"
"No,” I say. "They know I'm a grown-up and that I can do what I like."
"All right," I say, "so basically if you stay over, they're going to know we..."
Her cheeks go pink. "Yep. Like I said, no secrets."
"But they wouldn't mind you being here with me knowing we..."
She shakes your head. "No, Reuben, they're not like that. My parents are more hippies than anything. Free love, free spirits. My sister, Lulu, she's been with guys. Not to talk about her, but..." Meadow shrugs. "My family isn't worked up about that kind of thing. We've been taught to trust ourselves, follow our hearts. Trust our guts. Mine have just kept me more sheltered than my sister."
I smile, pulling her toward me. We sit right next to each other, our hips touching, and I take her hand in mine, lacing her fingers with my own. "Maybe you were just waiting for the right person, the right moment."