She would be trying her hand in gold prospecting in the Outback, dune bashing in Dubai, and because the world thought it would be romantic if they were to get back together, he would always find his way to her.
Sometimes, the situation seemed so hopeless it made her want to laugh and cry at the same time.
Why did he think she would ever want him back?
Every night she would torture herself, going over every minute of the time they had together, trying to pinpoint the times when he was so obviously thinking of Rima and not her.
That time in Hong Kong…
That time when he couldn’t say ‘I love you’ back…
That time when he lied about all those calls…
You see, Alyx, she would tell herself. Rima has always been there. You were in a love triangle without even knowing it. Shouldn’t that make you mad? Shouldn’t that make you feel foolish?
And it did.
It did.
But somehow, the anger and pain didn’t stop her heart from aching at the loss of him. She hated him, but she still loved him, and she just didn’t know what to do.
She just didn’t know what to do.
And it was how Nathan eventually found her.
Or rather she was waiting for him to find her, having made no attempt to hide her whereabouts this time, and they both knew it.
He came knocking on her door only two hours after she had checked in, and Alyx said wearily, “Come in.”
The screen doors slid open, and Nathan Callis entered her room, a sprawling suite that boasted of a beautifully minimalist, traditional Japanese setup. Her eyes widened when she took in his attire – he was in one of the hotel’s kimonos, down to the traditional tabi socks and wooden sandals, which he then set carefully aside before leaving the genkan or entrance area.
She looked so damn tired, Nathan thought grimly. He knew it was largely because of him, and the sight of her wan face was all he needed to be sure he was doing the right thing. He would give everything to have her love him again, but not to the point that it would hurt her.
Never that.
And so if this one last time was not enough---
Nathan breathed hard, telling himself it was not like him to lose hope when he had yet to start.
But then…he had never needed to fight for something so damn important.
“Hello, Alyx.”
She didn’t answer, only watched him lower himself on the tatami fat and fold his long legs under him. A small, low table separated them, but the violent way her heart thudded against her chest told her that the distance wasn’t enough.
He had to be at least two thousand miles away, she thought, for her to – maybe – stop hurting.
Taking a deep breath, she asked thinly, “How do we go from here?”
In answer, he pulled something out from the hidden pocket in his kimono, and she almost, almost smiled when she saw that he had come prepared. He always had all the answers, she thought painfully. Or at least almost always---
And she couldn’t help rearing back, remembering that one time he had been caught off guard, and he hadn’t known what to do upon finding Alyx in Rima’s hotel suite.
Her heart constricted.
Would thinking about them always hurt?
Nathan didn’t miss the flash of pain in Alyx’s eyes, and his hands tightened around the album he held. He knew – of course he damn knew – what she was thinking, what was hurting her---
Because he loved her.
He always would, even if she never believed him again.
Nathan handed her the album. “Take it.”
“What’s in it?”
“My heart on a platter,” he said without missing a beat.
“Where’s the knife?” she quipped.
Silence.
And then her lips slowly started to curve, even as her eyes started to shine.
And his heart never ached as hard as it that moment.
“I’m sorry,” Nathan said hoarsely. “I’m so damn sorry I broke my promise about protecting you.”
And the tears started to fall.
“I’m not perfect, sweetheart. I wish I could be for you. But I’m not. All I can do is work harder at making you happy, at never making you cry again. All I can do is find all the ways to show you that I love you.” His jaw clenched. “And it will always be you, only be you forever.”
His words were so beautiful, and she was equal parts desperate and terrified to believe them.
He pushed the album towards her once more. “Please.” His voice was ragged. “Please take it, sweetheart.”
She reached for the album with shaking hands, not knowing what to expect, but when she saw what was on the first photo, she almost dropped the album.
“Are you for real?” She half-laughed, half-choked on a sob.
The first page was a photo of Rima and him together, and when she flipped to the next page it was still the two of them together. Nathan was much younger of course, but handsome as ever, and unsmiling.