just how he was built.
He felt an immediate freedom. A washing away of responsibility.
He drove from his mind the promise that he had made to Julie to let her help find out what had happened to her parents. It was a false promise anyway. He’d had no business making it. Fulfilling it, he told himself, would only end up getting the girl killed.
Yet it didn’t really matter one way or another to Robie. He kept telling himself that as he prepared to finish what he had started.
His mind had not changed on one thing. This was about him. Despite their detour down to the squad Curtis Getty had been in.
This is about me. And it’s also about something bigger.
Now he had to find out what that was.
This was once more a chess match. The other side had just made a move.
Robie had to decide if it was a legitimate move or something else.
He gunned up and set out to do just that.
CHAPTER
88
THE FIRST STOP was the bank. Robie talked to the employees, but they had no helpful information. Gabriel Siegel had left his briefcase behind but it contained nothing helpful. Yet its presence did tell Robie that Siegel’s hasty exit had been unplanned and not related to the business of the bank. He was pretty certain of that already, but in his mind it was now confirmed.
As Alice Siegel had indicated her husband’s car was still in the parking lot. It was a decade-old Honda Civic. Robie picked the lock and searched it but found nothing useful. He drove off in his car, wondering what had prompted Siegel to simply leave his place of business.
Next stop was the hospice. He had forgotten something when he was there before.
The guestbook.
The receptionist let him look at it. While she was attending to other business he took photos of the pages for the last month or so. Then he walked down the hall to Elizabeth Van Beuren’s room.
Nothing much had changed. She was still lying in the bed with a big pipe stuck down her throat. The sun was still coming in the windows. There were flowers. The photo of the family.
And she was still dying. Hanging on to life, probably because she was a soldier and it was just part of her psyche. And the ventilator didn’t hurt. At some point the family would have to make a decision about that.
Like the nurse had said, this place wasn’t designed to cure or even prolong life. It was to let folks die with dignity, in comfort, in peace.
As he stared at Van Beuren, Robie decided she didn’t look too peaceful.
They should just let her go. Just let her pass to a place better than this one.
He picked up the photo and stared at it. A nice family. Alexandra Van Beuren was pretty, with soft brunette hair, a playful smile. Robie liked how the camera had captured the energy in her eyes, the life there. The dad looked rugged, but weary and haunted, as though he might have predicted the fate that would befall his wife in the not too distant future.
At some point in his life Robie had supposed he could have had a family like this. He was long past that, of course. But sometimes he still thought about it. Right at that instant, Annie Lambert’s face appeared in his thoughts. He shook his head clear. He just didn’t see how something like that was possible.
He walked back out into the fading sunshine and set off for Arlington.
To the bar that Jerome Cassidy had built.
He made good time and pulled to a stop in front of the bar at around five o’clock.
He walked in, ordered a beer, and asked for Cassidy. The man came out a few minutes later and approached Robie, an uncertain look on his face. He eyed the beer like it was a stick of TNT about to go off.
“Like to talk to you,” said Robie.
“What about?”
“Julie.”
“What about her?”
“You planning on telling her you’re her father?”
“Let’s go sit.”
Cassidy led him over to a booth in a corner. There were about fifteen customers in the place.
They settled in their seats and Cassidy said, “Early drinking crowd comes in around five-thirty. Place will be full by seven. Standing room only by eight. Empties out around eleven-thirty. D.C. plays hard and works hard. Folks get up early. Especially the ones in uniform.”
Robie cradled his beer but didn’t drink it. He waited for Cassidy to pull the trigger on answering his question.
The man finally sat back, slid his palms along the top of the table, and looked at Robie.
“First, how the hell did you know?”
“Guys don’t write bundles of letters to ‘friends.’ Especially guy friends. You don’t spend time and money tracking them down. And I saw how your face lit up when Julie walked in. You hadn’t seen her since she was a baby, but you instantly knew who it was. Not that hard to figure out, actually. And I recently saw a photo of you when you were in uniform twenty years ago. There may be a lot of her mother in Julie, but there’s some of you too.”
Cassidy blew out a long breath and nodded. “Think she knows?”
“No, I don’t. Would it matter to you?”
“Probably.”
“So you thinking of telling her?”
“Do you think I should?”
“Why don’t you first tell me what happened?”
“Not much to tell, really. And I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of. I cared for Sara. This was before she was married to Curtis. And she cared for me. And then Curtis came along. She and him just hit it off right from the first minute. Love at first sight. Stronger than anything we had. I didn’t feel bitter about it. I didn’t love Sara like Curtis did. And like I said, he saved my life. He was a good guy. Why not let him have some happiness?”
“But Julie?”
“Stupid one last roll in the bed. Curtis thought Julie was his. Sara knew better. I knew better. But I never said a word.”
“You seem to be an impossibly good person on that score,” remarked Robie.
Cassidy said, “I’m not a saint, never claimed to be. Done lots of people wrong in my life, especially when I’d been drinking. But Sara and Curtis, well, they just belonged together. And there was no way I could take care of a kid. It was an easy out for me, you see. Nothing noble about it.”
“Not so easy now?”
Cassidy eyed the full beer.
Robie said, “You want it?”
Cassidy rubbed his palms together. “No, no I don’t. I do want it, but no.”
Robie took a sip of the beer and set it back down. “Not so easy now?” he said again.
“Older you get the more regrets pile on you. I never had any intention of trying to take Julie away. Never! I just wanted to see her. See what sort of person she’d become. But by then I’d left Pennsylvania. By the time I got around to trying to find them they’d left too. Looked everywhere except for right here.” He paused and eyed Robie. “What’s going on here? Feds involved. People getting killed. Julie in the middle of it.”
“Can’t tell you. What I can tell you is that Julie will need a friend after all of this is over.”
“I want to help her.”
“We’ll just have to see how it plays out. I can’t make any promises.”
“I am her dad.”
“Her biological dad, maybe.”
“You don’t believe me?”
“I don’t believe anybody anymore.”
Cassidy started to say something but then stopped and smiled. “Hell, me either, Robie.” He gazed out the window. “So I told you my side. You think I should tell Julie?”
“I’m not sure I’m the best person to advise you on that. Never been married. Never had any kids.”