“If I knew that I wouldn’t be sitting here trying to figure it out.”
“What do we do with Julie? We can’t leave her here. And it would be really stupid to take her on something like this.”
“It might be stupid, but I’m going anyway.”
They glanced over to see Julie standing in the doorway looking at them with sleepy eyes that still managed, at their edges, to look angry and even betrayed.
Vance said, “Boy, you’re really good at eavesdropping.”
Julie retorted, “It’s the only way I find out anything with you two.”
Robie said, “It’s dangerous.”
“What else is new?” Julie replied in an even tone. She sat at the table. “I’ve been shot at, nearly blown up, seen my parents killed. Chased on foot, chased by car. So really, your ‘dangerous’ argument falls pretty flat.”
Vance glanced at Robie and a smile tugged at her lips. “At certain levels her logic is awfully compelling.”
“So the logic is, since you’ve nearly been killed a few times,
the smart thing is to put you in another situation where you’ll probably get killed?” said Robie.
“Don’t feel you’re responsible for me, Will, because you’re not,” replied Julie. She tucked her hair behind her ears and glared at him.
Vance’s smile faded. “Okay, you two, the last thing we need is to turn on each other.”
Robie said, “I am responsible for you. I’ve been responsible for you ever since we walked off that bus.”
“Your choice, not mine. I’m a victim of circumstance.”
“But you’d still be a victim.”
“I want to find out why my parents were murdered. That’s all. Anything more than that I don’t care.” She looked at Vance and then at Robie. “So don’t feel you have to care about what happens to me. Because you don’t.”
“We’re just trying to help you, Julie,” exclaimed Vance.
“I’m not your little do-gooder project, okay? Foster kid off the street you want to make all well and good. Forget it. That’s not what this is about.”
“You’re stuck with us, Julie, whether you want to be or not. And if it weren’t for us you’d be dead,” added Robie.
“I feel like I’m already dead.”
“I can understand that. But feeling dead and actually being dead are two totally different things.”
“Why should I trust anybody?” she retorted.
“I think we’ve earned your trust,” Robie snapped.
“Well, think again,” Julie shot back.
She stood and left the room.
Robie said to Vance, “Can you believe that crap?”
Vance stared across the table at him. “She’s just a kid, Robie. She’s lost her parents and she’s scared.”
Robie immediately calmed and looked guilty. “I know.”
“We have to stick together to get through this.”
“Might be easier said than done.”
“Why?”
“Events might conspire to tear us apart.”
“Events?”
“Your loyalty should be to the FBI, Vance. Not me.”
“Why don’t you let me decide that for myself.” She put a hand over his. “And me being here shows exactly where my loyalties lie, Robie.”
Robie stared at her for a moment and then got up and walked out, leaving a surprised Vance staring after him.
CHAPTER
80
ROBIE WENT OUT into the barn, uncovered a box on the workbench, and took out a pack of Winston cigarettes. He popped one out, lit it up, and put the filter to his mouth. He drew in the carcinogens and then exhaled them.
Lung cancer slow or bullet fast. What’s the real difference? Time? Who gives a shit?
He took another pull on his smoke, stretched out his neck. He took one final puff, ground the cigarette out on the workbench, and left the barn, locking the door behind him.
He stared up at the small farmhouse. There were two lights on inside.
One room where Julie was.
One room where Vance was.
He was separated from them by about fifty feet.
He was actually separated from them by about fifty light-years.
I am a killer. I pull triggers. I end lives. I do no more than that.
He turned and pulled his gun so fast she threw up her hands to shield her face.
Vance slowly lowered her arms and gazed at him.
He eased down his gun and said, “I thought you were in the house.”
“I was in the house. But I decided to come and check on you.”
“I’m just fine.”
She eyed the gun. “Fine, if a little edgy?”
“I prefer to call it being professional.”
She folded her arms across her chest, took a breath, exhaled, and watched it turn into mist in the chilly air. “We all are in this together, you know.”
He holstered his weapon but said nothing.
She moved closer. “You know, I understand guys who keep it all bottled up inside. The silent, stoic warrior. The FBI sure as hell has enough of them. But it does get old after a while. And a little grating, particularly at times like these.”
Robie looked away. “I’m not like anybody at the FBI, Vance. I kill people. I’m ordered to do it. But I carry out those orders. No remorse. No nothing.”
She said, “So why didn’t you kill Jane Wind and her son? Why did you take the time to get her other child to safety? And you did it while people were trying to kill you. Explain that to me.”
“Maybe I should have just killed them.”
“If I thought you believed that I’d shoot you right now.”
He turned to see Vance pointing her pistol at his chest.
“So are you just a killer, Robie? Don’t give a damn about anything or anyone else?”
“Why do you care?”
“I’m not sure why. It just seems that I do. Maybe I’m just stupid. I just swore an oath of loyalty to you back there. But it didn’t seem to register with you. I wasn’t expecting you to jump up and cheer when I put you above the FBI and my professional career, but I did expect some type of positive reaction. Instead you just walked out.”
Robie turned and started to walk back toward the house.
“Do you always just walk away when the questions get tough?” she snapped. “Is that your way of handling things when the going gets shitty? If so, it sucks. I expected better from you.”
He turned back around, settled his hands in his pockets, and rocked back and forth on his heels. He took several shallow breaths and stared at a spot directly over Vance’s shoulder.
She walked toward him, sliding her gun back into its belt holster. “I thought I came here to be part of something. Please don’t tell me I was wrong about that.”
Robie glanced at the house. “She’s only a kid. She’s in way over her head. She shouldn’t be involved in this at all.”