When Charity still fails to make an appearance, I have no choice but to give up for good or risk being late for Mass.
Using the magnetic notepad we keep on the fridge for grocery lists, I write her a quick note, asking her to please be available to talk tonight.
Praying she won’t do anything rash or stupid before I get back, I sling my bag over my shoulder, walk out the front door, and step into the real world.
The first step outside is always the most jarring. Even wearing dark sunglasses, the second the sun hits my face at full force with no panes of glass or curtains to filter its strength, I’m thrown off balance.
My head spins and I have to concentrate all of my focus on not stumbling forward like a drunk that’s been up all night drinking.
The sun hasn’t always affected me like this. I mean, the sun and I haven’t been getting along since I hit puberty, but it’s definitely been growing worse over the past few weeks.
I figure most of it is because I’ve spent the last few years of my life cooped up behind four walls and it’s starting to take a hard toll on me.
There was a time I had more freedom. More space to move around and people to interact with. The nuns in the convents may have been unpleasant to deal with most of the time, but they were still other people who could fulfill my need for interaction.
Unlike the constant snubbing and cold shoulders I get from Charity and her friends.
Unfortunately, just before my sixteenth birthday, one of the convents was attacked by a creature seeking out his Cursed.
And all the nuns that were living there were either slaughtered or taken.
Since that day, the Cursed no longer live in the churches or convents to protect the Order. We’re kept spread out across the country, living secretly in the houses of the most devoted followers.
Followers who know that one day their personal sacrifice will earn them a higher place in Heaven.
It takes a few minutes for the dizziness to subside, but once it does, I push my body into moving forward. Tucking my chin down, I walk out onto the sidewalk and blend in with the other people going about their business.
The bus stop I need is only a couple of blocks away from the townhouse, and the walk there is the easiest part of my day.
Once the bus comes to a squealing stop and I step on, things get hard again.
The morning buses are almost always full of people on their way to work, and while I’m practically starving for more human interaction, being surrounded by strangers takes its toll on my nerves.
I’m too aware of the people near me. Overly aware of their closeness. I can feel it pressing in on me like some invisible force even though there’s a polite amount of space between us.
Then you have all the smells and sounds…
Today I find them especially difficult to handle. To the point of being almost unbearable.
When the bus finally arrives at my stop twenty minutes later, it takes every bit of willpower I have to keep myself from shoving through everyone to get off first.
Once I’m in the open air again, with the sun beating down on me, I step up next to a building, seeking comfort in the shade of its shadow to catch my breath.
In the heart of downtown now, people are moving all around me, filling up the sidewalks as they go about their day. Like busy worker ants completely oblivious to someone like me.
A woman that doesn’t quite fit in.
There have been many, many days when I’ve longed to fit in with them. To be so busy I’m completely oblivious of anything and everything that doesn’t personally affect my life.
What would it be like to be like everyone else?
To not worry about the vampires?
To just accept they exist and avoid them?
Would life be easier? Would I have more purpose?
I can’t count how many days I’ve secretly fantasized about walking away from the Order and taking my chances at being normal.
Today, though, is not one of those days.
Today I just want to get out of this sun.
Old gothic architecture surrounded by gleaming modern skyscrapers, New Elysium’s Saint Benedict’s cathedral is a relic of the past struggling to keep up with today’s godless society.
A hundred years ago, there were at least a dozen churches in the downtown area alone, serving multiple denominations.
Now only Saint Benedict’s remains.
The other churches were destroyed and replaced by more lucrative enterprises. Victims of the vampire’s relentless war on religion.
Sweeping my eyes over the crowds of people power walking to their brunches or morning meetings, I wonder if any of them are aware of how close humans are to being at the full mercy of the monsters.