“I’m hungry!” Le’rank roared. His face was bright red, like a kid having a temper tantrum. “I WANT MEAT!” he shouted, banging on the table until everyone’s bowls and plates—which were also scrap metal—jumped and clattered.
“Please, calm yourself, Lord Le’rank! Meat you shall have—look, here comes the platter now!” Feed’lix exclaimed, looking alarmed. He was nodding and beckoning to one of the Fenushians who was serving—a male, I think—to hurry up.
The server came forward quickly with a large metal platter piled high with juicy steaks, still smoking from the grill. The sight was enough to make your mouth water—I know mine was, anyway.
“Here, now—do you see? Meat, just as you requested,” Feed’lix said. “Allow me to serve you the largest and choicest cut, my Lord.”
“Fine,” Le’rank said in a more normal tone. He looked satisfied with himself—like a kid who’s gotten what he wants by screaming and knows he can do it again, whenever he wants. Seeing him act like a spoiled asshole made me glad I didn’t grow up super-rich—too much money almost always turns people into entitled bastards.
Anyway, Feed’lix served him a huge, steaming steak and then offered the platter to me.
“Would you like to have some as well? We generally reserve such tasty treats for those of us who are Two-Tails, but tonight all are welcome to have some.”
I was about to spear an especially juicy piece of steak with my knife when I heard a voice whisper in my ear,
“No, Warrior—do not partake of the meat. You will be sorry if you do.”
I must have jumped because Isla gave me a worried look and asked if I was all right.
“I’m fine,” I told her and then shook my head at Feed’lix. “Thanks but no thanks—I’ll stick with the salad.”
“As you wish. Lady Isla? Would you like some?” he said, offering the platter to her.
She shot me a sidelong look and shook her head.
“No thank you.”
Feed’lix shrugged and offered some to the other two in his Threesome. Tam’lah shook her head but Churr’um, who was right beside me, took a small piece and then passed the platter of steaks down.
“What kind of animal is that from?” I asked, as he cut the piece he’d taken into chunks with a sharp piece of metal that I guessed was meant to be his knife.
“Oh, it’s not from an animal—this flavorful ‘meat’ is the flesh of the Two-Tails plant,” he explained.
“The what?” I frowned, shaking my head. “Why do you call it that?”
“It is a plant that grows here in our jungle,” he explained. “It is short and squat and quite large.” He put down his utensil and made motions with his hands to show me. “It’s actually a kind of fungus. We slice it up and grill it over an open pit—many say it tastes exactly like real meat.”
“But why do you call it the ‘Two-Tails’ plant?” I asked. “Does it have, uh, vines or tentacles growing out of it?” I couldn’t help remembering the weird, flexible double tentacle Feed’lix had between his legs where his shaft ought to be.
“Oh, no.” He shook his head. “It’s just a kind of big lump—there are no vines or tentacles. We call it the Two Tails plant because it was the preferred food of our fertility god, PASS’lix. Some say he ate it almost exclusively before he turned from a One-Tail to a Two-Tail.”
“Huh. Okay.” I nodded and looked across the table to where Le’rank was digging into the juicy looking steak.
The piece Feed’lix had given him was a monster—the edges hung over his plate and dripped juice on the table. It looked like something you’d eat to win a fucking contest.
The sight made my mouth water, but I couldn’t help remembering the Goddess’s warning. There had to be a reason she’d told me not to touch the stuff and I wasn’t about to ignore her. I had some protein bars back at the hut that I’d brought with me—I knew I could eat one later to stop the growling in my stomach. Better than taking a chance on the mystery meat.
We finished the meal with a light, sweet dessert that Churr’um told me was the whipped secretions of a plant they called a “Milk-pod.” I thought it was the best part of the meal, but I couldn’t help noticing that Isla was barely even picking at hers. She had spilled some of it on her dress, however—I could see the wet spots on the front of the deep blue silk.
“Are you all right?” I asked her.
She nodded, looking distracted.
“Do you think the meal is almost over?” she asked in a low voice. “I wonder if we could leave without being considered discourteous—I would really like to go back to the hut.”
Seeing that she was in some kind of distress, I made some excuses to Feed’lix and gave her my hand to help her up from the table.