Even more scandalous is that fact that his words have formed a kind of mental picture in my mind and I cannot seem to stop seeing it, every time I close my eyes. I cannot help imagining Sark’s face between my legs, lapping gently to open me and then bathing my “Goddess pearl” with his tongue…
No, I must stop writing these things. Instead, I will write of other matters—though they are no less outrageous.
For just as Sark was describing exactly what he wanted to do to me—and let me tell you, hearing those scandalous details in his deep, growling voice as he described the erotic acts he wished to do to me, made me feel strangely wet and hot between my thighs, though of course I would never permit him to…
There I go again! I must stop. As I was saying, just as Sark was describing certain acts which I shall not mention again, who should burst into the door of my apartments but Baslik!
Immediately the exciting tingles I had been feeling as I listened to Sark describe what he wished to do to me dissipated, only to be replaced by a cold lump of fear in the pit of my belly.
Baslik began by saying that Prunella may lose her baby, which is terrible! Though he has forbidden me to make friends with her, I wish that I might go and comfort her now. How terrible to lose a child like that!
But Baslik wasn’t done yet. He went on, demanding to know why I wasn’t glowing yet and then he bragged that he had been with every maid and female servant in the entire palace!
The very idea made me sick and now I understand why the maids keep well clear of him and watch him from the corners of their eyes when he is in the room and they cannot make a quick getaway. Poor things! Though I am of a higher social rank, I feel great kinship to them, for I also have no choice in how he treats me.
Sark soon made it clear that the maids feel they must endure Baslik’s advances and pretend to like what he does—which was exactly what I tried to do for so long, to avoid his wrath. Then he called Baslik a rapist—right to his face! And he also talked about how the Le’rank family uses all the funds of the kingdom for their own luxury instead of helping their people.
This is a thought I have often had—I asked if we might give to local charities when I first came to the Northern Continent, for I had much more than I could use. But I was told it is against some Royal edict or other and point blank refused.
However, I don’t believe I knew until the assassination attempt yesterday how very bad the situation is. I am not let out much—usually we never leave the compound and now I know why! The people hate us—well, they hate the Le’ranks and now I am one of them by marriage. Why, if I had gotten away from the compound that night I tried to escape, I dare say they might have torn me to pieces the moment they recognized me as a Royal!
The thought does not bear thinking of.
At any rate, now I know it is bad both inside and outside the palace, which makes me wonder—even if I somehow get away from Baslik, where am I to go? I have no money to speak of, though I have jewels and the fabrics of my gowns are quite expensive. I still think I could make a life for myself if I could get back to the Southern Continent—either in a House of Ill Repute or in the Convent.
Though to be honest, I am not certain I am still fit for the Convent. Though I am still a maiden, I have touched my forbidden places and found pleasure in doing so—and I have allowed a man to touch me as well. Can such things be forgiven and forgotten? Can I live a life of chaste virginity now that I know a man’s touch does not always need to be painful? Now that I know it can bring me to such heights of pleasure as I never understood were possible before?
I have no answers for these questions but I must go now. I will bring my diary with me to Fenushia Alpha but I must hide it in the lining of my carry-all and I do not know when I shall get to write again.
For now, farewell.
EIGHTEEN
From the recorded logs of Sark, Hybrid Kindred Warrior and Security Specialist for Hire:
On the way to Fenushia Alpha as I record this. I’m in my own ship, following Le’rank’s space yacht. Isla is flying on the yacht as well, which I don’t like one fucking bit. I wanted to take her with me, but that little shit, Le’rank, refused. He’s still angry and offended about our conversation earlier—he’d just better not take it out on Isla.