“I understand,” Samir said, trying to swallow the painful lump in his throat.
They looked at each other for a long moment, and Samir suddenly realized that this was goodbye. This was the last time they would stand like this, touch like this. They could have been something special, something great, if they weren’t the people they were. Maybe in another life, they would have been.
His eyes stinging, Samir kissed Warrehn on his stubbled cheek, his eyelids dropping shut as he inhaled deeply.
“Be safe,” he whispered, his throat aching.
Warrehn’s arms squeezed around his ribs to the point of near-pain. It hurt in ways that had nothing to do with the physical pain.
And then Warrehn let go. Without looking at Samir, he opened the door and left.
Chapter 20
When Samir returned to the ballroom, Warrehn was already gone. It was probably a good thing; they’d already supplied enough fodder for gossip as it was. Samir held his head high as he approached his mother. Dalatteya was too socially conscious to glare at him openly, but he could feel her anger through their familial bond. Samir tucked her hand into his elbow and led her out of the ballroom.
They were silent on the way home.
They were silent until they reached Samir’s office.
As soon as the door slid shut after them, Dalatteya exploded. “What were you thinking? Do you have any idea how bad it looked when you strolled out of the ballroom with that man and then stayed alone with him on the balcony after he had kicked out the other guests there? If I weren’t there, your reputation would be in tatters!”
Samir found it hard to care.
He sat down in his chair behind the desk and looked at his mother tiredly. “Why did you do it? I would have told him the truth myself.”
“When?” Dalatteya sneered. “I’m not blind, Samir. I’ve seen the way you look at him. It has become clear to me that you were getting unacceptably infatuated with that man. Something had to be done about it. I did what I had to. It’s for your own good.”
Samir closed his eyes for a moment before opening them and saying in a measured, flat voice, “Congratulations. You accomplished what you wanted. Warrehn and I are done.” He held her gaze. “Now listen to me, Mother. I know I can’t stop you from scheming and trying to remove Warrehn from the throne. But if you harm him physically, if you arrange his death, I will never forgive you. And if you do something else to him to get him off the throne, I will abdicate. So leave him alone.”
His mother stared at him.
“Oh, my darling,” she whispered at last, walking over and hugging Samir’s stiff body to her chest. She sighed, sadness filling their familial bond. “I should have had that man killed the moment he returned. He isn’t worth it, sweetheart. Men of that family are poison.” Her voice cracked. “You deserve better, believe me.”
Samir’s eyes burned. He let the tears fall, letting them soak his mother’s dress. He hated it, hated the unfairness of it, hated that even now, he couldn’t hate her. She was his mother. He knew that everything his mother had done was out of—sometimes misguided—love for him. Well, that and her hatred for King Emyr.
“He isn’t his father,” he whispered.
Dalatteya’s arms around him stiffened. “Perhaps,” she conceded after a moment. “But he’s his father’s son. And he will never forget it. He despises us and wants his revenge. That would never change. The—the attraction between you will fade in time, and there will be only hatred, mistrust, and resentment left. You deserve better, my darling.” Her voice became wistful. “You deserve love that isn’t toxic. Love that knows no hatred. I want that for you.”
“Because that’s what you had with Father?”
His mother took a moment to reply. “Your father and I shared deep affection for each other. We grew up with our minds intimately connected ever since we were toddlers. We didn’t know what it meant not to love each other. But even our relationship was soon poisoned by the anger and resentment caused by my involvement with the king.”
Samir frowned. “Surely Father didn’t blame you for the king’s sick interest in you?”
His mother cleared her throat a little. “It was—complicated. My point is, I wish for you to have the kind of love I’ve never had: love without toxicity. Love that brings you happiness.” She threaded her fingers through Samir’s hair. “In fact, I think it’s about time we find it.”
Samir pulled back from her embrace and looked at her. “What?”
Dalatteya smiled, her eyes lighting up. She clapped her hands in excitement. “Yes, what a marvelous idea! Why didn’t I think of it before? In my defense, we were so busy preparing for your coronation that finding you a good match was pretty low on my list of priorities, but all things considered, there’s no better time than the present! We shall announce that you’re looking for a spouse tomorrow, and I’m sure we will have an abundance of widowed or bondmateless suitors—perhaps even off-world politicians—”