FOURTEEN
The day had been terrible, a complete inversion of the previous twenty-four hours I had spent with Zane, happy and laughing, worrying about and wanting for nothing. Being back home in my lonely, empty mansion was bad enough; being reminded not only of my past mistakes, but the dire nature of my future, only compounded all the turmoil raging in my head like a vast stormy ocean.
All I wanted was to be back in Al-Dali, tucked in the private cinema next to Zane, letting the day go by as we laughed and watched movies together. At the very least, I wanted to be able to sink into the walls of my house and never come out to face the world again.
Zane was right when he called Jack a monster. He had no boundaries, no concern for anyone but himself, and I had to make sure he stayed out of my life and far away from me forever. Now that he'd been in my house again, all the work I had done over the months of making the place feel like mine was undone. Now I could hear the footsteps of Jack's ghost, stomping drunkenly down the hallways.
I needed to deal with the shattering of the fleeting peace I’d had in heart and mind. I took a long, hot shower with some relaxing oils, then ordered dinner from my favorite Mexican restaurant. With a TV tray on my lap and a green tea on the night stand, I tucked myself into my cozy bed and, once again, allowed myself a lazy night of watching sitcoms. I kept my phone on silent, ignoring any emails or texts that came in. I didn’t want to risk seeing anything from Jack again tonight; his invasion of the sanctum of my home was bad enough.
Even after all the relaxation and carbs, sleep refused to come without a fight. Jack’s reappearance in my life was more upsetting than I could have imagined. He was such a vicious snake of a person, coming into my house without permission. He probably couldn’t help himself, couldn’t wait to give me the ugly news that he held the key to my salvation.
The fact that he came to make the offer in person told me it was important to him. Too important to trust to his agent, or even the chance a text or email would be leaked. Maybe the deal he had made with the studio heads relied on someone Jack knew getting stabbed in the back; it definitely wouldn’t be the first time. Whatever it was, Jack was trying to control how this all went down to make sure he was not only protected, but came out on top when all was said and done. Jack could be trusted to do one thing only: look out for himself. Every one of his calculated actions had that goal in mind.
This meant, for once, that I had an upper hand on him. During our relationship, I hadn’t seen Jack for what he really was, and that had left me broken every time my needs got in the way of his. Half the time he would go as far as to blame me for my own bad luck, even when he was helping manufacture it behind my back. He had no shame, and I hadn’t been able to see it, so it had been like fighting a ghost. I had lost every time.
But Jack’s nature was clear to me now. And it was clear he needed me very badly for this plan to go through. He knew how badly his actions had damaged my life and my career; he knew I hated his existence, and yet he asked me anyway. He would have found an easier way if there was one. That meant there wasn’t.
The thought made me smile in the dark. Jack must have endured more bad press than I thought after our breakup. It appeared on the surface that his bad boy façade made him more popular to the everyday movie fan, but that regard didn’t always translate with his fellow industry workers. Maybe his reputation was finally catching up to him, and he had to do something to fix the nasty things he’d done.
If there was any way my involvement in the movie would help Jack’s career or erase the damage he had done to my life, there wasn’t a chance I would say yes. Even though the move would no doubt benefit me too, it felt too much like I would be handing my soul over to the last person in the universe who should be near it. Jack didn’t deserve my help; I wasn’t going to enter a devil’s bargain with him. There would be nothing but regret down that road.
Still, he wasn’t wrong about the bills piling up on the kitchen counter. Now that I had turned down Zane’s money, I had to start being a little more realistic about my survival and reconsider some movie options I had been too proud to accept before. I’d rather deal with
the shame of being in a B-list movie than swallow my pride and bend to Jack’s will.