ChapterTwelve
Briar
The file stared at me from my desk whenever I walked in and out of my room. Every single time I passed, my fingers itched to open it. She had made it very clear that being single wasn’t an option for me, and I wasn’t about to tie these men to me and a baby—especially one that wasn’t theirs—forever.
They might want you in their pack. Several of them had made that clear, the logical part of me argued, but it was useless. The negative side of my brain would chime in with but not all of them did. Ellis had kept his distance, and in the three days since the meeting with Omega Services, he’d been even colder. I was ready to rip my hair out over trying to figure these guys out. And outside of Wells and Miles’ very obvious declarations, the rest hadn’t said anything about wanting to take our relationship to the next level. Am I being too hopeful?
When I finished my work for the day, I sent off the files and tucked away my laptop. I had no excuses left, and I knew it. I opened the file, seeing she’d compiled data on over ten different packs, most old enough to be my dad. My stomach spun with nerves at the prospect. The idea of leaving these men and this pack had my chest physically aching, the pain so intense I felt like I couldn’t breathe.
My pulse pounded in my ears, thundering loudly enough that I thought I might have a heart attack. I’d promised myself when I got here that I wouldn’t let these men get under my skin. Yet here I was, devastated by the thought of leaving. I’d been here for a little over two months, and I was ready to dig my heels in to stay. I just knew that if Omega Services wanted me to leave, I’d need to be dragged out, kicking and screaming.
They knew my darkest memories, they’d gotten baby and pregnancy books to learn all they could about us, and they’d proven more than once that I could genuinely trust them. And for me, that was fucking huge.
Shoving the folder aside, I grabbed my wallet and keys and stalked out of the room. I needed fresh air and distance from that wretched file.
My focus was on escaping, so when I stepped out of my room and came face to face with the entire pack, I stumbled.
“What’s going on?” I asked quietly. Fear struck through me so fiercely. That negative voice was starting to win out, practically shouting in my mind.
My eyes flicked to each member of the pack until they landed on Ellis. He winced at my eye contact, and that was it for me. Nope. I couldn’t do this right now. Shaking my head at the lack of answers, I went to the elevator and hit the button.
“I need to take a walk and get out of the house,” I told them. Beckham and Miles were by my side in seconds, each taking one of my hands. They didn’t speak, and I was thankful. My emotions were already so up and down that if they did, the dam would surely break.
The alphas let us go, not that I would have let them stop me at this point. The scent of worry and fear filled the elevator, and I knew it wasn’t all mine.
“Are you leaving?” Beckham asked as soon as we were outside. I let the sun’s rays hit my face, head tilted back, absorbing it like life energy for a brief moment.
“I’ll have to,” I finally answered. Forcing myself to open my eyes and face them took everything in me, and I instantly regretted it. “She gave me an ultimatum.”
“That is?”
“Pack up or they pack me up,” I said with a shaky breath. My control over my emotions was faltering, like a car teetering on the edge of a ravine. I was all too unsure whether it would roll over or hold strong.
“I thought you wanted us?” Miles asked. There was a mix of hurt and anger in his voice that I recognized. It was the same twisted tone that I’d heard come from my own lips when I’d asked similar questions of my parents as a child.
Beckham cursed. “It’s Ellis. Isn’t it?”
Shrugging, I finally met his hazel eyes. They were glassy with unshed tears, which only made me feel worse. I hated that this was hurting them too. I’d failed to keep my distance, and that had opened the door for all of us to be hurt, not just me. But Ellis’ distance hurt too. I knew it was silly that I’d thought we had a connection forming when I first arrived, that he was interested in me. In another life, maybe we would have been together. But the moment it felt like we got along, he started putting space between us. I understood why, but that didn’t make it any easier to swallow.
“Fuck Ellis,” Miles spit out. “He’s being stubborn. Stupid.”
“He thinks you’ll regret it. You’re in a vulnerable state, and he’s afraid that one day you’ll think we’re taking advantage of you and want to leave,” Beckham admitted. “Tallon and I confronted him after that bitch came to the house.”
“She really was terrible.” My chuckle held little humor. “I don’t know what to say to that. It hurts to consider that he thinks me being pregnant somehow renders me overwhelmed and too irrational to make decisions. I’m not a child. I’m also not going to beg someone to want me, guys. Breaking up your group was never my intention, so going is the only option.”
“This is ridiculous,” Miles growled, pulling out his phone. Beck and I watched him, confused. When Ellis’ hello filtered through, my breath caught. What the fuck was he going to do? “I hope you’re happy. She’s leaving us. That social worker gave her an ultimatum to find a permanent pack, and she’s refusing ours because she’s too fucking kind-hearted to break up years of friendship. I love you, Ellis, but I won’t let you ruin this for all of us. Get your head out of your ass. Now.”
When he hung up, panic struck me.
“What the fuck, Miles?” I gasped. “Pushing someone to pick me is such a bad idea! I’d rather die than be placed with a pity pack.”
“If I thought he was on the fence about wanting you, Briar, I wouldn’t have said it,” he promised fiercely. “We’ve all seen it, and as someone who spends a good chunk of his nights with Ellis, I know he’s admitted as much. I can read him better than most, and he’s letting honor get in the way of what he really feels. At this point, he’s being a stubborn asshole and needs a reality check.”
“Briar?” The sound of Liam’s voice had me turning. Seeing him was like sunshine after rain. The world slowed down around us, and all I saw was my safe haven, my person. Taking off at a run, I raced down the sidewalk to the man who would always come before any pack drama.
“Liam!” I screeched as I launched myself at him like a true psychopath. Breathing in my brother’s scent had the rest of my walls falling until I was sobbing, and not the cute, soft ones, but huge body-shaking sobs.
“Briar, what the fuck happened?!” he growled, holding me tight. “If one of you did something to my sister, you’re fucking dead.”
“Get me out of here, please. Just for a bit. I’ll explain, but I’m not hurt,” I promised. He looked startled at my pleading, but he led me to the passenger door of his car with an arm around my shoulders. I’d just climbed in when I glanced back at the guys. Miles and Beck looked understanding, but now they’d been joined by the rest of the pack. Ellis looked panicked, and the rest seemed downright pissed.
Someone called out my name, but I shook my head when Liam met my eyes, pleading with him to get me the space I needed.
“I’m going to kill them,” he promised. Thankfully, instead of walking down there, he rounded the car and got in. His chest heaved angrily until I rested a hand on his arm. He took a deep breath and glanced at me. “Alright, alright, I’m going. Do you need to eat?”
I sighed. The idea of food wasn’t appealing at the moment, considering I was a fucking mess, but it wasn’t just me anymore. If I could avoid adding nausea to the emotional mess I was currently dealing with, then I’d do it. “I haven’t eaten,” I admitted.