CHAPTER20
Shelaine
I stare at the phone, just waiting for it to ring, but it never does. Even though I want to call or even text Luke, I have no clue what he’s doing. I don’t want to distract him if it’s something dangerous. Sliding my hand over the small bump, I rub my stomach in a soothing manner.
From what I’ve been reading, stress is super bad for the baby, and so I’ve been having to keep busy to keep my mind off of far more sinister thoughts - mostly, what if Luke never comes back. He didn’t have to tell me about his past for me to know it wasn’t pretty.
It was practically etched on his face anytime something related to family came up. I just hope that whatever he was dealing with will finally let him be at peace. Honestly, if I could just take away all that pain he’s been carrying, I’d do it. But the further along in this pregnancy I went, the more he was adamant about keeping a stress-free environment.
Waiting for him, longing for his arms, yearning for him is far more stressful than anything he could possibly tell me, but I know there’s no way I can convince him of that. He’d probably just pat me on the head and then give my ass a swat before changing the subject.
When he messaged me, telling me he was heading home, I could finally breathe again, but that just meant even more waiting. Nervous energy floods my body as I sit there, waiting for Luke to come back home. How much longer will it take? I don’t even know how far away he was when he sent that message.
Glancing over at Sergei, I can’t help the grin that curves my lips as I watch him struggling with the bassinet. For a few moments, he watched me struggle with it before barreling in and taking over, muttering, “Preggo bitch doesn’t need stress. Not good for egg. Egg needs to cook on low heat.” Though I’m not exactly sure what he meant by it, I got the gist.
Again, the sound of wheels on asphalt meets my ears, but I don’t get excited. So many times, I’ve thought it was Luke, only to be disappointed. It’s not that I wasn’t grateful to see either the dean or even some of the other Dominants and submissives, but they weren’t who I was waiting up all night for.
When the key sounds in the lock, however, my heart picks up the pace, fluttering so hard that I’m afraid I’ll be nauseous again. I go to stand up, but Sergei is already there, one hand holding the deadbolt and his other hand poised over his gun.
A cold menace exudes from Sergei’s body, setting off small alarms in my brain. “Who is it?” He barks out.
My insides quiver as I wait for the response. Is someone after me? Is there something happening I don’t know about? God, I just wish Luke could be home. Having him here would help my stress immensely.
“It’s Luke.”
Relief floods through me, and I grip the edge of the couch to keep from crying out in my happiness. He’s home. Oh, God. He’s finally home.
“How do I know this?” Sergei’s rumbling voice sounds deadly serious, and I can’t tell if he’s kidding or not.
Luke’s sigh is audible, even through the door, and I can’t help the small chuckle that escapes my lips. “It’s me, you Russian dingbat. Let me in so I can see Shelaine.”
Sergei slides his gaze over to me and winks. “What is password?”
“It’s open the fucking door before I tear it down?”
“Nyet. Is not one word.”
Silence looms between the two for just a moment. “Please.”
“Da. You see? Many grease make happy wheels.”
“Da. Da. You let me in now.”
The moment Sergei opens the door, Luke bursts in, wrapping his arms around me, engulfing me in a tight hug. It feels like it’s been an eternity since I’ve been able to hug him, hold him, or even breathe in his scent. Burying my nose in his chest, I inhale deeply, reassuring myself that he’s here and safe.
At this moment, I hate that Lainey isn’t big enough for me to feel her because I’m sure she’d be jumping around with all this excitement. I hold him close, refusing to cry. This is a happy moment. No tears are needed, but I certainly don’t want to let him go.
“Nyet. Nyet. You crush egg. Must handle with tenderly.”
“It’s okay, Sergei,” Luke laughs. “I know how to handle my woman. I won’t be needing your help anymore.”
I look up at Luke, shock fluttering through my brain. Have I ever heard him laugh before? I don’t know what he did on that trip, and I don’t have to know, but I’m grateful. Whatever it is has made him happier somehow, almost lighter if that’s possible.
Sergei steps to the side and motions for Luke to follow him. I hate being away from his embrace, but it’s obvious they want to talk about stuff I’m not supposed to know about. Whatever they talked about, though, made Luke smile and relax even further, so I didn’t even care what it was about. Luke is happy and safe, and that’s all that matters.
Once they pull apart, both men look at the pieces of furniture lying about in shambles. Grumbling, Sergei grabs his keys and nudges the half-done bassinet with his toe. “Good luck with Sweedish, put-together mess. In English, in Russian. It no makes sense. You better fix so little kotenok has place to sleep. I come inspect. Russian furniture is better. Just add vodka.”
Luke rolls his eyes, but the smile never falters from his face. It’s so breathtaking. Leaning up, I kiss him, so happy to have him back, but he pushes me away after just a moment or two.
“Shelaine, I need to ask you a question.”
His tone is serious, causing a nervous laugh to well up from my throat. “Yes,” I sigh, trying to bring humor back into the room. “The baby’s yours.”
He pulls back, his eyes narrowing to slits. “Well, of course, it’s mine. Was that even in question?”
Laughing, I slide my fingertips over his chest, breathing in his spicy scent. “Never. What do you want to ask me?” When he pulls away to get down on one knee, my heart stops for a moment. “What are you doing?”
“Will you marry me?”
Pain lances through my heart as I stare down at him. “We’re already married. Unless you’ve forgotten.”
“No,” he whispers, his brows furrowing for a moment. An unreadable expression flashes through his eyes, and for a moment, he looks sad, as if regretting everything that happened between us. “I haven’t forgotten. Last time, I forced you to marry me. This time, I’m asking you.”
“Look, if it’s about the baby -.”
“No.” Luke stands and presses his lips to mine. “This is about me telling you in the best way that I know how that I care about you. This may not be the marriage you’ve always hoped for, but I will damn well do the best I can. And don’t you dare think that being pregnant is going to deter me in any way. Baby or not, I’ll get what I want, and what I want, Shelaine Lannister is you. But this time, I’m at least asking you instead of hauling you down the aisle. Or would you rather I do that again?”
Unfortunately, I can’t actually decide. The idea of him putting me over his shoulder, caveman style, and forcing me back down the aisle has arousal swirling through my body. But with the baby….
“Look,” he continues, his voice edged with that thread of violence that never fails to turn me on. “I may be a monster, but I’m your monster. I want to take all those hardened, jagged edges and turn them outward, making a shield for both you and Lainey.”
Once more, he gets down onto his knee and looks up. “If you’ll have me, I want to spend forever with you. I can’t promise you sunshine and roses. I’m not built that way. I can only promise my undying loyalty. Perhaps love will come later. Please. Shelaine Gallagher, will you officially become Shelaine Lannister? For better or worse?”
What else can I say but yes? The fact that he’s asking me, that he’s willing to face the risk of me saying no, means more than anything. It makes my heart flutter at the very idea of belonging to him because I’m choosing it and not because he’s forcing me.
“I do.” Tears gather in my eyes as I watch the smile ease across his face.
“Then come on.”