CHAPTER15
Luke
Everyone bursts into a flurry of clapping and well wishes, but none of it excites me. None of it touches my heart. All I can see is my submissive sitting on that damned bed, staring at the ring with tears in her eyes. It should have been a happy moment between us, a way to get even closer together. But it’s tainted now.
Gripping her by the wrists, I grab her cloak from where I laid it earlier and wrap her up in it. It takes no time to slide my pants on and slip my feet into my shoes. Shirt, coat, and socks can be damned. All I want is to be out of this godforsaken place and back at my house so I can confront my fiancée.
Her soft sobs as I drag her out of the room mean nothing to me. Once we breach the doors, I wait for her to walk over to a small bowl near the entrance and fish out her keys. Yanking them from her hand, I step outside and walk through the damn maze with my unwilling submissive in tow.
The soft sobs turn into loud wails as she fights with me, struggling to get free from my grip. It was like nails being hammered into my skull. Like waking up with the worst hangover where any little sound hurts. Turning, I duck down at her midsection and force her over my shoulder, toppling her over me.
Once we’re free of the hedge, I click the button on her key fob and wait for the alarm. I keep silent as we walk to her car, and I refuse to talk as I open the back door and shove her in. She keeps crying out to me, saying things that I can’t understand with all her tearful babbling.
Rocks spray up as I take off, peeling out into the darkness. Anger, pain, abandonment, all of it swirls in my gut and mind like a poisonous mixture. Every thought hurts, and so I shove them away, locking up my mind so I can’t feel the pain.
I feel nothing.
I am numb.
When we get to the house, I open up the back door and allow her to get out, ignoring her pleading words. I refuse to have this conversation out here where prying eyes and ears can take it in.
Dragging her into the house, I thrust her forward and slam the door shut, locking it behind me.
“I don’t want tears,” I intone, keeping my voice as neutral as possible. “I don’t want theatrics or hysterics. Why do you not want to marry me? You’re already my submissive. This is just the inevitable next step. Is it the ring? Is it me?”
I long to throw things, to pull shit off the wall and destroy them. I want to hurt her, to cause her pain, to make her feel even a tiny bit of the hurt and humiliation I’m feeling now.
But it would be too much like him.
I refuse to act like Ryker. I refuse to make her feel the same sort of terror he made me feel. Shaking my head, I grab her by the wrist and lead her over to the couch. Her body trembles as she sits down. But then, the moment her ass rests against the cushion, she moves over, getting as far away from me as she can.
Wasn’t this the same woman that begged for my knife? That came from my violence? I haven't raised my voice. I haven’t raised a hand against her, and yet, she’s acting like I’m going to tear her limb from limb.
“Why, Shelaine?”
She looks up at me, her eyes wide and full of tears. I want to lean over and brush them away, to perhaps rekindle the closeness we felt when I took her virginity. Though, deep down, I’m worried the damage is already done. There’s no love on her face as she stares back at me.
“I -. I can’t. Not this soon. I just can’t. I don’t know you. You don't know me. I-. I need -. I -.”
“What?” I grumble out, my irritation rising. “What do you need that I can’t provide for you? I’m making damn good money here at Loftry, and soon, I can buy you any damn thing you want.”
“It’s not the money,” she cries out, hysteria lacing her tone. “I need the safety of being able to walk away. I need to know if things go bad that I have an out. I won’t have that as easily if I marry you.”
An icy calm settles in my gut as I ponder her words. She wants free of me. She wants an escape. Well, I won’t let that happen. She’s the best damn thing that ever happened to me, and I’m not going to let her just walk away like that. She wants the ability to just turn her back on me whenever she feels like it? Never. Now that I found and fucked my little rabbit, I’m never letting her go.
Pulling out my phone, I flip through the lists of Dominants. If I remember correctly, I saw a priest listed here. I’m sure he’d have no problem marrying us so last minute. And as for the paperwork, that’s what Todd is here for. It’s crazy. It’s beyond irrational. But now that I know my rabbit’s true motives, I can’t waste any time.
I shoot a message off to both of them and wait for their reply. It’s uncomfortable sitting in that tense silence, but right now, I really don’t have anything to say. I planned out everything, and in just a few sentences, she destroyed all those well-laid plans.
Todd messages me first, giving me the go-ahead. He can draw up the documents and have them waiting at the school’s chapel. Apparently, there’s a person in city hall that owes him a favor. All he’ll need is our signatures, and they will file it as if it was done beforehand.
Soon after, the priest responds with a thumbs up and devil emoji. Not quite the response I was expecting, but at least he’ll be there waiting for us. Without saying another word, I stand and grab Shelaine by the arm and drag her out the door. I can’t trust my words right now. Not until I get her in front of the priest.
“Please,” she cries out. “I don’t want to leave. I just don’t feel like I’m ready for this commitment. You have to understand. Please.”
Her arm jerks about as she tries to pull out of my grasp, but I hold on tight, not letting her squirm out of my grip. Deep down, I know if she gets a chance, she’ll bolt from me, and I’ll never see her again. It’s a very real fear that arrests my breath and forces me to hang on for dear life.
Even with her trying to pull away, I manage to open the door and shove her into the backseat, smiling as she lands face down and ass up. I’ve already claimed two virgin holes tonight, and someday soon, I’ll claim that last one. But not right now. Right now, I need to keep my head in the game, and the game is getting her down the fucking aisle.
Locking the door, I slide into the driver’s seat and turn the car on before slamming it into reverse. Everyone will be there waiting for us. My heart pounds in my chest as my rational brain demands that I look at this from her point of view. But I can’t. To do so would be to undermine everything I’m planning at the moment. Even looking at it with a cold, rational eye, the facts are this: I want Shelaine by my side; Shelaine doesn’t want to be with me forever; I have to force her to be my wife to keep her from leaving.
It’s that soul-shattering fear of being by myself again, and now that I’ve had a taste of my little rabbit, I can’t picture life without her. I refuse to picture my life without her. I don’t give a damn about what she wants right now. I deserve this. The universe fucking owes me, and I’m here to collect.
“Please. Please try and understand,” she cries out again, tears staining that perfect, fuckable face.
“Oh, I understand,” I respond, looking at her through the rearview mirror. “And I’m not getting rid of you. You’re mine forever, Shelaine Gallagher, and turning you into Shelaine Lannister just makes it all the more official.”
Her face pales as she stares at me. “You’re crazy.”
“Maybe, but soon, I’ll be your crazy.”
“You can’t make me. Even the Dominants won’t allow you to force this.”
“Who said anything about forcing,” I chuckle, looking back at the mirror. “You’re going to marry me willingly.”
“But I just said -.”
“I know what you said. I also know you’ll do anything to keep out of Malum. Or am I wrong?”
More blood drains from her face. “But you said you weren’t going to get rid of me.”