“They have declared war,” my husband continued, his eyes boring into mine and clearing up exactly why he was so pissed at me. “I will be taking the Belaya Bratva to wage war on what remains of the Krasnaya Bratva at sunrise.”
My stomach roiled at the thought. “War?” I had heard of battles, turf wars, but not an actual war between rival groups. What did it entail? What did Gavril mean when he said they were going to war?
Oh God, what would happen if I lost him? I thought about the child growing inside me, the very one that he had put there in hopes of a future for him and his Bratva. A chance to be the top dog in the Mafia world.
Now all of that seemed silly and damn near impossible. There was no future for me and him. There potentially was about to be no future for Gavril at all, and it was all because of me.
If Jon hadn’t found me, the Krasnaya Bratva would have continued to believe that I was Sveta, and everything would be just like it was supposed to be.
“I’m sorry,” I forced out, scrambling off the bed. “I’m so sorry for not telling you about Jon.” All I had wanted was to feel safe.
Then the truth hit me. “I thought you could keep me safe from him,” I added softly, wrapping my arms around my waist and hugging myself tightly against his angered stare. “I thought if I kept this from you, we could get through this.”
I didn’t even get to finish my statement as Gavril turned on his heel and walked out of the room, forcing me to hurry after him, panicked that he was going to walk away from me and our child. Now that everything was out in the open, he didn’t need me.
He didn’t need our child.
A sob escaped me as I tore out of the room, frantic to find Gavril’s form retreating into the nursery he had started to put together for our child.
“Gavril!” I sobbed, hurrying toward the door. “Wait, please!”
He shut the door before I could reach him and I jiggled the knob, praying that I could get it open.
It was locked. “Gavril!” I shouted, beating at the wood with my bare fists. “Please! Open the door!” I couldn’t let him put this wall between us. Not with the bomb he had just dropped in my lap.
I couldn’t lose him. I couldn’t.
There was a muffled shout and I sank to the floor, pressing my forehead to the door, tears streaming down my face.
“Please,” I whispered, knowing that Gavril was beyond listening to me at this point. Sure, he had taken me against my will and forced me to marry him.
The child I carried, the feelings I carried, were things that now irrevocably tethered us together, and that was what I mourned the most.
That and I had allowed myself to think about a future, foolishly planning how not only he could banish Jon from my life forever, but that maybe, just maybe, he could love me in return. I had clung to the hope, to hope that didn’t exist, and now, because of my selfish actions, we were back at square one and I was going to lose everything.
I rolled over until my back was pressed against the door, trying desperately to feel like I was still close to Gavril even though he wanted nothing to do with me right now. What would he do? Would he get rid of me now that the secret was out? Was I already in a countdown to the end of my life?
It didn’t matter. I was helpless to stop him. I had crossed a line by not giving him all my secrets when he had given me a deeply personal one. It had been a test of trust, and I had destroyed it.
I had done the one thing that Gavril’s mother had warned me about: I had betrayed Gavril.
I slumped against the door, pressing my head to my hands and allowing myself to sob, not caring if Gavril heard me or not. Gavril was on the brink of war.
I was on the brink of losing it all.
Maybe I already had.