His eyes widen at that, but I push on, feeling strangely vulnerable.
“Hunter came for you.” I prompt, falling a little for the man and his protective ways right there and then.
Griff looks up at Hunter and smiles. “He always does. He has my back, even when I don’t deserve it.”
“You fought what you felt for him?” I guess. I had no clue Griff was into guys as well as girls.
“With every breath I had in me. I was an abomination. If my parents couldn’t love me for who I am, then how could anyone else?”
“And then I left, making everything worse. Shit.”
I slide my hands over his knees.
“I left because my job was over. I left because my boss wanted me back and I had responsibilities I had to take care of.
“I went home, but when I got there, I just felt lost, untethered and confused, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know it was because of you. In my head, you were just a means to an end, a piece of the puzzle I had to click into place to reveal another slice of the big picture. But in my heart, you’d become something else altogether. I didn’t recognize it. I’ve never felt anything like it before, so how could I? It wasn’t until I heard your voice that the puzzle piece slipped into place.”
Tears slide down my cheeks.
“It doesn’t change anything. I can’t stay. I’m working another job. I can’t walk away from it because the girls who have been snatched are relying on me to bring them home. This is how my life goes. There will always be one more job that needs doing.”
I wipe my tears and look up at Hunter.
“This isn’t just my life. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t matter.”
“Fuck that. You matter. Don’t say shit like that,” Hunter curses.
I dip my head and sigh. I wish it were as easy as just throwing caution to the wind and saying fuck it, let’s give things a try, but it’s not.
“You don’t understand—”
“Then fucking tell us. Make us understand,” Griff snaps.
I suck in a breath, ready to rebuke him again, but stop myself.
Anything less than the truth and I’ll lose whatever this could be. That’s what I need to do. Lie to them. They’ll hate me for it, but it will be a clean break. I can just walk away. Who cares if it leaves me bleeding out? I’ve done it before. I can do it again. I’ll just cauterize the wound, bury my head in the sand, and fuck someone else to escape the hollow feeling. Someone who doesn’t make me feel things or who tries to fill the empty spaces inside me.
I open my mouth to spin my lies, but instead, the truth comes pouring out.
“I’ve had many names over the years, and I answer to all of them, but my friends call me Dulce. I work for a…company that specializes in bringing the bad guys down, and usually, it’s in a way that the justice system can’t. That doesn’t make me a good guy. If I got caught doing what I do, they would throw me in jail for the rest of my life.”
Hunter moves to sit on the arm of the chair next to Griff. They both watch me avidly as I spill the secrets that could give them the power to destroy me.
“I’ve killed people and I have zero regrets about it. Hell, I enjoyed myself.” I climb to my feet so I can pace and work off the building nervous energy.
“I’m a stone-cold killer, and I’m damn good at it too. If you’re looking for a sweet girl-next-door type to complete your throuple, you’ve come to the wrong girl.”
“Throuple?” Hunter snorts, but Griff just watches me.
“You fucked my dad and I’m still here asking for a chance with you. You think I don’t know you’re not the sweet, innocent girl next door? When did I ever make you think that’s what I wanted? Hell, if you were, you’d never even contemplate the thought of sharing me with Hunter.”
God, he’s not getting it. Why can’t they see this is impossible?
“I’ve had a lot of sex with a lot of different people. Some because I wanted to, some because I needed information, and some so I could get close enough to kill them. I’ve slit someone’s throat while he was still inside me and finished my orgasm before I climbed off. Is that the kind of girl you want in your life? Huh?”
I grip my hair, feeling myself being torn in two. Part of me wants this unattainable life they are talking about. A chance at happiness that I wasn’t sure would work for me, but the other part of me wants to shut shit down and run back home where it’s nice and safe.
I’m a casual-all-the-way kind of girl. No strings, no attachments, no risk of getting hurt. I’m the one that leaves a trail of broken hearts and penises in my wake.
“That was then,” Hunter says softly, making my eyes flash to his.
I jump to my feet and walk away with a laugh, a bitter, twisted sound. “I’m sharing a house with four men. I’ve slept with one of them, and when I go back, I’ll likely sleep with more,” I tell them without looking back until I hear footsteps behind me.
I whirl as Griff stomps toward me, backing up a little before I realize what I’m doing, then forcing myself to stand still.
He grips my arms firmly. “Do you love any of them?”
I think of Luke, Cain, and Abe and feel my face fall.
“No,” I whisper, looking into his eyes. A flash of Dmitri makes me swallow. “But I could. They will never love me because the girl they are fucking doesn’t exist.”
I close my eyes in defeat. What does it matter anymore? I should call Sugar and get her to pull me out.
“You’re Everly with them?”
Opening my eyes, I take in Hunter as he approaches.
“Yes. I’d already established a cover as Everly Sinclair here, so it made sense. Aslanov knows who I am, or who he thinks I am anyway, letting me know he’s been keeping his eye on the key players in the area. It was lucky I didn’t go under as someone else, really.”
“Aslanov, as in Dmitri Aslanov?” Griff questions, exchanging a look with Hunter that I can’t interpret.
“Yes. He is my primary target.”
“Is?” Hunter asks before cursing and turning away.
“What? You know him?” I look between them. “Is he connected to your father?”
Griff barks out a laugh but shakes his head.
“No. Aslanov hates my dad. He caught him laying into me once when I was younger, and he punched him. Clean knocked him out and, because of who he is, my dad couldn’t do dick.”
“Because he’s a headmaster?” I play dumb.
“Because he’s the bastard Bratva prince.”
“He mentioned you in passing. He remembers me from when I was yours.”
“You’re still mine and he probably suspects as much because that’s the kind of man I am.”
I shrug. “I told him I was over you and that you didn’t care about me anyway, since you had other girlfriends to keep you happy.”
He pauses, his face red with anger. After everything I’ve told him, this is what upsets him? I’m starting to wonder if he’s a few cards short of a deck.
“There was never another girl.”