“And if you walk away from her?”
“It’s too late,” he said grimly. “He’s got her in his sights.”
“I’ll start the relocation process. You want to talk to her or shall I?”
“Neither, damn it,” Constantine said. “Get Carlos.”
Nelson paused, then said, “I know you don’t trust me—”
“I don’t trust anyone at this point. It’s not personal, man. This is the end of the road for me. I’m done after this. I plan to leave alive.”
“You sure that’s what you want? We need you.”
He was sure. Damn sure. When the time came, he was ready to walk away from the Bureau without ever looking back. Why did he think walking away from Nicole wouldn’t be that easy?
Chapter Twenty
NICOLE ENTERED the Austin hotel suite after a long day in court, ever aware of Constantine behind her, beside her, near her—there, but not there. Watchful, but distant.
She walked straight to her room, edgy, ready to turn and demand they clear the air. But they weren’t alone. They were never alone. Besides, he’d made his position clear. Their relationship was over. They were fire and ice. He wanted fire and apparently thought she wanted ice.
She found the door to her room and quickly shut herself inside, letting her briefcase slide to the floor. She leaned back against the closed door, her head resting on the wooden surface, eyes closed.
Constantine had been right about her perfectly planned life. She’d built a glass house. So perfect there was nothing real inside. There was laughter—no happiness. Just her own need to prove she wasn’t defined by the past.
But back in Houston with Constantine, she had found what was missing. She’d gotten a taste of what it meant to share her life with someone else and she greedily wanted more. And more meant Constantine.
She inhaled, recognizing her emotions were turbulent at best and not all because of her relationship with Constantine. Her father’s presence in the courtroom that day had messed with her head. He’d sat there, a judgmental look on his face. But no matter how flawed he might want to find her performance, he wouldn’t be able to, and he only wanted to because she was doing work he didn’t approve of. She was at the top of her game, performing her best. She wanted Alvarez put away, and she was going to make it happen. Her one regret was that she couldn’t truly share the progress with Constantine, that they had to act as strangers for the sake of appearance. But they’d come too far to allow an affair to destroy credibility. They couldn’t risk that getting out to the press, and maybe, inadvertently, the jury.
However, she wasn’t going to be a wilting wallflower hiding in her room. She’d go out there, claim the desk and start working. Let Constantine hide in his room. She was done hiding. From herself. From her life. From him. Time to forgive herself. Time to stop wallowing in guilt. Choose my own battles. That idea had been working a number on her mind. Maybe she’d open her own law firm. She wasn’t sure yet, but change was in the air for her. She was brave in the courtroom. Now she wanted to be brave beyond it.
No more hiding.
***
CONSTANTINE SAT IN his bedroom with the door open, listening to Nicole talk to one of the agents in the living area of the suite. Her voice trickled along his nerve endings, taunting him with what he wanted, what he couldn’t have—her.
Staying away from her was killing him. Many times he’d considered saying to hell with putting some distance between them. No, he didn’t fit into her prim-and-proper life, but he was convinced she didn’t fit into that life, either. In fact, he’d convinced himself that throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her away from all of this would be best for her. He also knew Nicole had to see for herself, had to decide what was right for herself. Except now, she didn’t have choices. Not after the news he’d gotten today. He scrubbed his jaw, dreading the conversation they had to have.
He shoved off the bed and walked to the doorway, leaning on the edge of the door frame. She stood behind the bar, pouring herself a Diet Sprite over ice, her gaze lifting to his as if she sensed his presence.
“We need to talk,” he said. He motioned with his head, indicating his room. “In private.”
Surprise flashed in her face. Not once since their return had they been alone. Her room was on the opposite side of the suite, their relationship strictly business to all those around them. Oh, but he could imagine being in bed with her, the sheets gone, his body all that covered her.
“Of course,” she said, setting down her soda can and crossing the room, closing the distance. He watched her walk, her hips swaying in the velour sweats she’d bought back in Houston. Damn, how he wanted to lose himself in her. His zipper area expanded painfully, his body taut with the day’s worth of desire that had gone unattended.