And if that were true, then what was to become of me? Where did I belong and with whom? Without Fiona, life stretched before me, empty and dark.
“Let me rephrase that,” West said. “It’s obvious to me that you feel the same way about her. I don’t know why you’re making it hard when it should be easy.”
“Nothing between us would be easy. She’s too young to know that. Too young for me.” Even to my own ears, this sounded like a meager excuse.
“She’s of marrying age. The women in London have already come out by her age.”
“There are other reasons besides that,” I said. “You wouldn’t understand them.”
We reached Fiona’s building. He stopped before going inside and turned directly to me. “I might not, but shouldn’t it be up to Fiona? Shouldn’t you give her enough respect to decide for herself?”
A friendly spaniel stopped to sniff at my feet before his owner shuffled him along with a tug on the leash. “Fiona’s naive about such matters. She’s lived a sheltered life. Her father doesn’t think like most men from his background.”
“What’s that to do with you?” James spoke mildly, as if we were speaking of some benign pastime. It was infuriating.
I tried to match his tone, but keeping my temper in check was nearly impossible. “She doesn’t know what a couple like us would encounter. America may pretend to be without social or economic or racial inequalities, but that is false. I’m of Chinese descent. That will not ever change. In many places, I’ll be spit on in the streets or worse, especially if I have Fiona on my arm. She’ll be in danger. Actual danger.” I ground my teeth in frustration. James’s bland face didn’t help matters. “She’s not understanding what would happen if I were to marry her. Can’t you see that?”
“What I see, with all due respect, is a woman willing to take on all of that for the honor of being by your side. If I were you, that would be enough.”
“Enough what?” I asked.
“Enough to know that whatever storms came, she could weather them. You, sir, don’t give her enough credit.”
“Perhaps.” Was that true? Were my views those of an egotistical man? She would be strong enough to withstand whatever shunning came our way. Fiona couldn’t care less about all of that. But what about the danger I would put her into? After the attack in my own hometown, the bitter truth had been obvious. I was a liability to whomever I was with. “She’s reckless, with no thought to her safety.” I blurted out the story of the morning and then held up the packages as evidence. “These are for the boys. We have eight-year-old twins upstairs. Little boys we know nothing about and who quite possibly have put us in danger. I only just arrived in Paris and look what she’s done.”
“Twins?” James asked, sounding amused. “How interesting. That would make her even more prone to the idea because of her own brothers.”
“That’s right.” My stomach clenched. He really did know Fiona. The months we’d been apart, she’d grown close to James. Who could blame her? He was nearly perfect. Still, I reserved the right to hate him. “Do you understand my fears? There are little boys in the apartment when yesterday we didn’t even know they existed. She’s already talking about taking them home with us.”
“Taking them home to Colorado?”
“That’s right. Am I the only one who finds that outlandish?”
“Yes, well, I can see your point.” James shook his head. “That is reckless and even rash. She wants to take them home? Are you sure?”
“She hasn’t said specifically, but I know her. That’s where this is headed.”
He laughed. “She’s unusual, we can agree on that, can’t we?”
“Unusual? That’s one way to say it.” Despite my agitation just moments ago, I laughed too. Tension seemed to melt away as we shared a smile.
For the first time, I felt an ally of sorts. “Do you see why I worry?” I asked. “She’s blind to reality at times.”
“And too bighearted. Taking on strays like me, for example.” James grimaced. “I do see your argument.”
“Yes, the entire Barnes family has a way of collecting people. Like me, for example.”
He nodded before opening the door to the building and allowing me to enter before him. We climbed the stairs in comfortable silence.
We were in front of Fiona’s apartment door when I said, “Have you ever loved someone so much that it physically hurts?”
“No, I haven’t, but I’m a romantic, so I understand the concept.” James clapped my shoulder. “The most wonderful woman in the world loves you and you love her. Can’t you simply accept that God’s given you a gift? Do not push it aside. Embrace it. Have faith that all will be well.”
“It’s easy for you to say. You weren’t beaten up outside a club that feels like the one place you belong.”
His expression softened. “I understand. I truly do. But the measure of a man is not his vulnerability but what he does despite it. Make this right before you lose her for good.”
“Do you really think I should?”
“I do. As far as I’m concerned, you and Fiona have my undying support. Whatever I can do to help, all you have to do is ask.”
“How about you take a few of these packages?” I asked. “That would be a good start.”
And so we were laughing as we entered the apartment. Something I would not have believed possible only minutes before. Was this a message from God above? Trust in love?