I’d looked around to see that all the girls before me had put half of what I’d taken. I’d felt sick with shame. Never again, I’d promised myself. From then on, I made sure to see what the others were doing first.
I tore a small portion from the bread and used a knife to spread the cheese. Count to ten before taking a bite, I told myself. Another thing I’d learned from school. When I’d counted to eight, I popped the portion into my mouth and stifled a groan of delight. I looked up from my plate to find Theo watching me.
“What is it?” he asked. “Do you not like the cheese? Is it too strong?”
“What? No, no.” The creamy cheese was as soft as butter and delicious. “I love it.”
“Good. I wasn’t sure. You were looking at your food like it was the enemy.”
Theo Barnes was a little too observant. “I learned at school how to eat like a proper young lady. Not as fast or with as much enthusiasm as comes naturally to me.”
“When Mama first came to us—she was not accustomed to having enough to eat. Her family was poor, which is why she’d accepted the job out here in the first place. She’d practically starved on the train ride out here from the east. Papa had sent her traveling money. However, she’d left most of it for her mother and sister. She didn’t want them to suffer in the weeks before she received her first salary payment. Instead, she got along with only one small meal a day for the entirety of her trip. That first night, Lizzie brought her a plate of stew and biscuits. Mama told us later she’d been terribly hungry and that it had taken great effort not to shove it into her mouth as quickly as possible.”
“That’s how I am too. Even after my time with the Linds.” I told him the story of finishing school and my initial humiliation. “Mother and Father were indulgent with me because they knew what I’d been through. They never said anything about the way I ate. I wished they had.”
“That teacher should never have publicly embarrassed you like that.” Theo’s eyes flashed with anger. “She could have taken you aside later. That’s what Mama would’ve done.”
“Not all teachers are as empathetic as Miss Cooper was.”
“Miss Cooper. I’ve almost forgotten that’s what we called her back then. She’s been our mother for so long now.”
“I would’ve liked to become a teacher.” If only I’d been more forthright with my parents, perhaps I’d work at our new brick schoolhouse.
“You could get a teaching degree. The way this town’s growing, we’ll need another teacher before long.”
“No, it’s too late. I’d never be able to come up with the money for university. Or leave Mother. I wish they’d sent me to school for something useful.”
“Could it be that your usefulness has not yet been discovered?” Theo asked. “Perhaps in the months to come, you’ll discover a new path.”
Theo’s curls had escaped whatever balm he’d put in his hair. A clump fell over his forehead. I couldn’t resist those curls. I twirled the silken strands around my finger. He caught my hand in his and brushed his mouth against my knuckles. I held my breath, captivated by the beauty of his deep blue eyes. Could Theo Barnes be my purpose? Or was there more for me to do? Only time would tell.
11
Theo
* * *
Moved by her touch, it took everything in me not to kiss her. We were not alone as we’d been the night before. With the dozen or so folks out here tonight, kissing her would ruin her reputation. Being here with her tonight was news enough in a town this size. By morning, most everyone would know we’d been out together.
“What are you thinking?” Louisa dipped her chin and flushed but kept her eyes upon me. “Looking at me that way.”
“I wasn’t thinking much. When I look at you, I lose all sense of reason.”
“I don’t believe you.” Louisa smacked my arm. “You’re too smart for that.”
“I’m a fool over you, I’m afraid.”
She giggled, and I was a king just then, basking in the warmth of everything Louisa. “You’re bold, Theo Barnes. Bolder than I thought you’d be. Flirting with me in public like this.”
“I’m feeling confident. Last night you kissed me right back.”
Her mouth curved into a slow smile. “I did.”
“You liked them?”
Her cheeks flushed pink. “Yes, but it’s not polite to tease me about that.” She giggled and this time a soft snort came from her nose.
We both burst out into the kind of laughter that perpetuates itself. One time in church, Flynn and I had been overtaken with the giggles. The more we tried to stop, the less chance we had. This moment was the same. Finally, we got hold of ourselves. I’d laughed so hard tears had come. I took out my handkerchief to swipe them dry.