“I see no problems with this arrangement.”
“Good. Then strip. And be quick about it.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Luke honestly didn’t know how his father did it. Didn’t know how, year after year, Vinnie got through the anniversary of his mating without losing his mind.
It was clear to see that, despite the smiles he gave Blair and Elle as all four of them sat at Vinnie’s kitchen table, the man wasn’t completely with them. Not mentally. He often pulled inward during the few days before, during, and after the anniversary, which was why Luke and his siblings always made a point of staying especially close to him during this time.
Damian would avoid venturing out in the daytime unless someone else was with their father. Tate, Luke, and Ingrid would regularly visit him. More, Elle always had a reason why she needed to stay in her old bedroom for several days. This year, it was that she’d redecorated her apartment and couldn’t stand the smells of fresh paint and gloss so wanted to give it time for the scents to dissipate.
Vinnie never called Elle on her bullshit or complained that people were keeping a close watch on him. He simply rolled his eyes or gave them knowing smiles. Perhaps because he was well aware that nothing he said would make them back off. Or maybe he understood that they needed this; needed to be certain he’d never fade away like he’d almost done once before.
Luke had always admired him for surviving Gaia’s death. Now, mated himself, he admired Vinnie all the more. No one could truly appreciate what it felt like to be bound to the other half of their soul unless they’d experienced it for themselves.
Blair was more a part of Luke than his own skin and bones, because her connection to him wasn’t simply physical, it ran far deeper. She was inside him, rooted deep. He couldn’t imagine it was possible for his heart to beat without her.
Hell, she was even a part of his scent. Vinnie’s own scent was still mixed with Gaia’s. Did that make it worse for Vinnie, being able to smell her every day? Or was it comforting to have at least that part of her?
Luke wasn’t sure if he himself could find anything comforting in such a devastating situation. Blair might be one half of his soul, but he honestly felt like he’d lose his own half if he ever lost her. She was his everything. Always would be. Not even death could alter that.
His cat would be just as empty without her. He would exist, not live. Luke doubted that the feline would find any joy in anything. She was his joy.
Their mating bond felt so much like a metaphysical extension of Luke’s mind that he knew he’d acutely feel the absence of it if it broke. He’d become used to feeling Blair through their link. Used to the echoes of her emotions taking up a portion of his awareness. For Luke to lose all that … no, he couldn’t understand how anyone managed to live through it. Yet, Vinnie had.
Luke wondered if his father felt a constant pull to give up the fight and follow his mate into death. After all, the struggle to survive it couldn’t possibly have ended when Vinnie “recuperated” all those years ago. The loss of a mate had to be something that haunted you every day.
Bree’s father had powered through the death of his own mate for her sake. But shortly after her eighteenth birthday, his health had begun to deteriorate until he’d eventually died in his sleep. Bree believed he’d only ever intended to hold out until she officially became an adult, too lost to exist without his mate.
Luke and Tate had worried that Vinnie might similarly “let go” once Damian reached adulthood. Fortunately, their father hadn’t. Still, they never gave up worrying that he one day would.
Blair stood, pulling him out of his thoughts. “Gotta use the bathroom,” she said. “I’ll be back in a sec.” With that, she left the room.
Elle’s gaze flicked to the chair that Deke vacated twenty minutes ago when he headed home. “Deke was pretty quiet.” She lifted her can of soda. “We can’t give him much longer to brood. Does anyone have any idea what could be playing on his mind?”
Luke rubbed the back of his head. “I think he’s been doing some thinking about the promise he made a few years ago, and I think the reason is that Bailey’s tempting him to break it.”
Vinnie dipped his chin. “I had the same thought.”
“I tried getting him to talk, but he blew me off,” said Luke.
Elle took a sip of her soda. “Personally, I hope he tosses his vow aside. It isn’t fair for him to be held to his word like this for so long. It has to be wearing on him at this point.”