Kaylee nods encouragingly.
“You’re doing great, girlfriend. I’m proud of you.”
Then, the conversation turns to lighter subjects as we down our sandwiches. The food is delicious, just like my buddy promised, and the baby is hilarious as she spits out cereal and then reaches her arms out for her mom. Kaylee sighs and throws me a rueful look.
“It’s getting close to nap time, so you know what that means. I hate to rush out, but Em’s going to have a full-on tantrum if she doesn’t get her beddy-bye boob soon.”
I giggle, finger-waving at the little girl.
“Don’t worry about it. It was so great to see you, and of course the baby comes first. We’ll do this again soon?”
My pretty friend nods.
“Yeah, def. I’ll text you, okay? Be happy, Olly. I worry about you sometimes, but if this new medication is making a difference, then stay the course. I want you smiling and full of rainbows.”
I roll my eyes.
“Okay, that’s a little overboard, but I get your gist. Bye girlfriend. Bye Em!” I wave as they begin wending their way out of the restaurant. Emmeline coos and waves in my general direction, and I smile beatifically. She’s just the cutest thing.
Plus, I agree with Kaylee’s words. The medication does make me feel a little bit strange, but maybe it’s just the adjustment period. Maybe if I stick with it, my head will clear and then truly, rainbows and sunshine will greet me each day.
2
Olly
I pull into the driveway of my little cottage and turn off the ignition, slouching against the steering wheel of my car. I thought taking a class from six to nine p.m. would be a good idea because it leaves me plenty of time to work during the day, but I’m always exhausted by the time I get home. I woke up at five this morning for a shift with Sparkle Maids, so it’s been a long day, to say the least.
I press my forehead against the pleather steering wheel, letting the stress melt from my bones. Eventually, I’ll have a more regular schedule. I just have to get through school and find a better job with set hours, and not random shifts I can pick up. But until then, juggling school with working as a maid is my life.
Sighing, I grab my backpack from the passenger seat and head into the small, one-bedroom cottage I’ve been renting in Millbrook. It’s cute on the outside. The exterior walls are white, and there are deep green shutters that I painted last summer. Geraniums create a colorful display in the window boxes, and I smile. It’s my home, and I love the privacy. It was hard leaving my mom and my brother, but not that hard because they live just a few blocks away. Plus, I’m twenty now. I need my own space and this small cottage is just the thing.
Once inside the house, I throw my backpack on the floor and then check my phone to find a string of texts from my mom about a TV show we watch together. It’s silly to be so obsessed about a reality TV program where a bunch of nincompoop 20-something’s vacation in Hawaii together, but we like it and we bond over it. I quickly respond that I’ll make sure to come over tomorrow night for our scheduled viewing, and then toss my phone on my queen-size bed, where it’s immediately lost in my puffy plaid comforter. I can never be bothered to make the bed when I leave. Why bother? I’m the only one who ever sees it, anyway.
Then, I strip out of my jeans and t-shirt and head to the bedroom to take a shower. The space is so small that I can touch the walls in both directions when I open my arms, but again, it’s all mine, and that’s what I appreciate about it the most. Stepping into the pea-sized stall, I let out a grateful sigh as the scalding water washes away the day. The spray is so hot that my skin turns pink within seconds, but it’s worth it. I can feel my shoulders growing light, as if a burden is slowly melting away, and I let out another heavenly sigh while sudsing my slick curves up.
But right, my weight. After exiting the shower, I pull my bathroom scale from under the bathroom sink. I hold my breath as the digital scale flickers and then gasp. Fuck, I’m five pounds heavier than I was the last time I checked, which was about a month ago. I stare at myself in the mirror, befuddled. What the hell?
“Damn,” I mumble aloud. “Is it the anti-depressants?”
After all, a potential side effect of my medication is weight gain. I’ve always been a big girl, and I’m okay with that because I’d rather be curvy than continue to live with my depression. But still, this sucks. I don’t want to turn into a giant jelly roll because of the drugs I’m taking.