“Anyways,” Kaylee says, changing the subject. “Enough about me and the kids. I know I can talk non-stop about them and come on. No one’s that’s interested in someone else’s kids. How are you doing, Ols? I miss the days when we were wild and crazy single ladies.”
I grin.
“Wild and crazy? You know me, Kay. My life is boring.”
My friend shoots me a look.
“It’s calm, that’s all. Are you still working for Sparkle Maids?”
I nod before letting out a sigh. “Yeah, I kind of have to because tuition is over the top expensive. So yeah, I pick up shifts when I can.”
Kay frowns.
“Yeah, but is working for Sparkle holding you back when it comes to school? How much longer do you have until you graduate?”
I bite my lip, a bit embarrassed.
“Honestly, it’s going to be a while. I’m only taking a couple classes at a time, so it’s going to be a long journey. But hey, community college can be like that sometimes. We don’t all have to be in and out as fast as possible.”
Kay nods seriously
“I know, Ols. I know you’re working hard, and if there’s anything I can help with, let me know.”
I shoot her a look. “Are you kidding me? You’re juggling two kids right now! I would never want to burden you.”
Kaylee puts a hand on my arm. “No, you’re not burdening me with anything. Ols, you’re my best friend, and I just want to help, that’s all. It’s no big deal.”
I smile, touched.
“Thanks, girl. The same goes for you. Especially if you need a babysitter for Ezra and Emmeline.”
She shakes her head.
“You have too much on your plate, Olly. I don’t want to burden you.”
I shake my head.
“I can always get some studying done when they’re napping. These kids do still nap, right?
My friend nods vigorously.
“Hell yeah! The little stinkers take two or sometimes even three naps per day. And I appreciate it, Ols, but we can find another babysitter. You have a lot going on already, and you don’t need Emmeline and Ezra driving you up a wall. They already do enough of that to me.” Then, Kaylee shoots me a serious look. “Aside from school and work, how are you doing though? Like, really doing, mentally?”
I knew this was coming, and I take a sip of water to try and stall. But my friend waits expectantly, and I take a deep breath.
“I’m okay, I guess. I still feel horrible about my dad’s passing sometimes, but it comes and goes.”
Kaylee takes my hand in her own.
“It’s natural, Olly. Anyone would feel sad in your shoes.”
I give her a watery smile. “I know, but it’s weird. Like sometimes, I wake up and expect my dad to be making bacon and eggs for me in the kitchen before he leaves for work. I can practically smell the sizzle of the meat, and hear my dad laughing. Then it hits me that he’s gone, and he’s never coming back. It’s been five years of this, and sometimes I wonder if it’ll ever get better.”
Kaylee nods, shooting me a sympathetic smile.
“I know, Ols. I know. But you can move on and you will move on. It’s what your father would want.”
I nod. “That’s true, and that’s what I keeping telling myself too because Dad would be pissed if I sat around moping forever. He was the kind of person who thought it was more important to celebrate life than mourn death.”
Kaylee nods.
“He sounds like an amazing man. I wish I’d had a chance to meet him.”
I nod. “Yes, and he was, but how much longer do I have to feel shitty?” I ask plaintively before exhaling. “Well, the good part is that I’m taking the bull by the horns. You kept saying that I should try seeing a psychiatrist, and I finally did it. I’ve had a couple appointments now.”
Kaylee nods encouragingly. “Olly, that’s fantastic!”
I take another deep breath.
“Yeah, I decided to man up. I dropped by the campus health center, and they set me up with a therapist. She says I have PTSD and depression, and then she prescribed me medicine. Does that mean I’m crazy?” I ask.
Kay shakes her head.
“It just makes you someone who wants to get better. Do you think the medication is helping?”
I think for a moment. “It’s only been about a month, so I’m not totally sure. It’s probably too early to tell, although I feel like I’m sort-of better? But that’s the thing. The medication also makes me feel a little woozy, like I’m walking around in a daze.”
My friend nods.
“Honestly, I think a little wooziness is worth making the dark clouds go away.”
“I agree, that’s why I’m going to keep up with it. Between the medicine and weekly talk therapy, I think I’ll be able to get closer to where I was before my dad died. Like I said, I’ll never be 100%, but this is definitely a step in the right direction.”