It was dark as I drove up the hill, and I realized I was starving. And thirsty. I never did get that cold drink or finish making the tea by the lake. Grabbing my phone as I parked at the house, I called Sergio’s and ordered a pizza for delivery. I was glad it wasn’t winter yet. Once the snow hit, deliveries up the mountain were done. With my inability to cook for myself anything more complicated than toast, that meant I needed to stock up on microwave dinners before then.
Once inside, I hopped in the shower immediately. It was an impulse to wash away the smell of Malia as fast as possible, so I could think clearly again. There was no way I was going to be able to focus on anything while the smell of her skin was still on me. After getting clean, I got dressed in some gym shorts and a T-shirt and waited for the pizza to arrive.
“Mr. Limley?” the kid at the door asked as I opened it for him.
“Yup. How much do I owe you?”
“Thirty.” He looked over my shoulder to my empty house.
“Here you go,” I said, handing him two twenties. “Keep the change.”
Before he could say anything else, and most importantly before he could make a crack about how it was just me with three pizzas, I shut the door. One of the pizzas would sit and cool before I put it in the fridge for tomorrow. The other two… well, the other twos’ fate was sealed. I doubted they’d make it through the night.
I sat down with my pizza and turned on the television, hoping that bad TV and stress eating would calm the thoughts floating in my mind. Especially the ones that kept screaming that I had screwed it all up.
I woke up in the morning on the couch. I hadn’t even bothered to go to bed once the beer came out. I started by drinking water and soda with the pizza, but by the third slice, the thoughts of my stupidity kept coming through, and I switched to the beer in the fridge. Something cold, she had said. I was half expecting her to laugh when she saw the shirt off and then offer me a beer. But she didn’t. She invited me to bed.
And I proceeded to bail on her.
I shook my head. I had to force myself to think about something else. Anything. So the beer came out, and I knocked out a considerable portion of the twenty-four pack I had picked up not a few days before. At least when I overdid it, I overdid it on good stuff.
Waking up, I was thankful that at least I had the foresight to set an alarm and have a couple of water bottles nearby. I cracked one open and downed it quickly before moving to the next. A slight headache was the only physical impediment I had, and I stumbled to the bathroom to get ready for work.
I was going to throw myself into the job. That was how I was going to handle it for right then. I would focus on the things that I could control, not the ones I couldn’t. At least not yet. I had no control over the situation with Malia because I didn’t know how she thought about it, and I didn’t know how I was going to make it up to her anyway. So, for now, work was where my brain needed to be.
Being damn good at my job was a saving grace. At least I had no hang-ups about that. I knew that the guys also believed in me and thought highly of me too. Knowing I had the backing of Carter, Deacon, and Everett meant that I could go to work knowing that even if I had a bad day, I would be okay. It was a level of security that I hadn’t found in life outside of Hank and Lana. I cherished it.
Popping a headache pill, I got into my truck and headed to work, glad that I could at least get out into nature and do some honest work for the day. Plus, I was bringing a pizza with me in lieu of eating breakfast myself. No day could be bad if you brought in breakfast pizza.
19
MALIA
I lay in the bed for probably ten minutes, not sure what to think.
My body was still tingling from our encounter. It probably would all evening. Just a kiss made me feel like my lips were vibrating, much less the intense and overwhelmingly satisfying way his body fit into mine. It was enough that my foot was cramped from my toes curling so hard. When I finally did decide to get up, my leg was so weak I nearly face-planted immediately.