I had no idea why. I was just letting my body make the decisions till my brain sorted through the storm of incoherent fury and figured out what I was most upset about. And apparently, the plan in the meantime was to boil water for tea.
“I’m sorry about the story.” I heard Drew toss his suit jacket over a chair. I also heard actual regret in his voice but it didn’t thin my wrath in the least.
“It’s fine.” My reply was clipped as I opened the cabinets to find the tea I’d bought myself last week. “It comes with the territory.”
The second those words came out I heard Drew’s fist hit the table.
“Goddammit, Evie, stop talking to me like that, alright?” he hissed, coming up behind me. “Just talk to me again. Like a real person. Tell me what to do. Tell me how I can fix this for you.”
“You want to fix this?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” I laughed so bitterly Drew spun me around by the waist.
“If this is your way of implying that I don’t care about you, I think I’m making it obviou
s now that you’re wrong,” he growled, gripping me tight, refusing to let me just shove him away. “You’re upset, I know that, and I don’t like it. In fact, I fucking hate it. I hate that the media dragged your family into this. I hate that they’re making you play the bad guy, because trust me, I know how fucking shitty that feels, and I wish more than anything that you didn’t have to know the feeling too.”
“Well, I do, and unless you can erase the Internet, it’s too late to take any of it back,” I hissed, yanking out of his grip. “So you can just let this go and stop pretending to give a shit.”
“If I didn’t give a shit, I wouldn’t be standing here, Evie – I would be gladly ignoring you because honestly, that would work out a whole lot better for me.”
“Do you think that feels good for me to hear?”
“I don’t know what it feels like, Evie, I’m just trying to be fucking honest with you,” Drew muttered hotly as he trailed me down the counter. “You know I need the focus just to do my damned job – just to keep my head in the game. In case you don’t realize what it takes to win as much as I do, it takes consistency. It takes doing the same goddamned thing every day, thinking the same goddamned way and not changing a thing. If I loved anything, it was the routine I had before you came along – in fact, if anyone told me you would happen one day and asked if I wanted to avoid that, I’d say yes a thousand times over, because I have a job to do, a team to lead and a fucking ring to win. But now that you’re here, now that I’ve felt you and I know what it’s like not to have you, I can’t stand for that either because I fucking miss you, alright?” Drew demanded. “I want you to come back to me.”
“Well, you can’t have everything you want without giving anything up. You don’t get to kiss me in public, fuck me at home and get to know everything about me and force me to answer all of your questions while ignoring every one of mine,” I argued as the kettle went from whistling at me to screaming at us. “In case you don’t realize, I’ve put all of myself out there for you. I tell you what you want to know, I let the media completely expose me, and everyone wins except for me.” My voice trembled as I faced decidedly away from Drew, letting steam burn my fingers as I poured the boiling water into my mug. “You want from me what you give to no one, Drew. You keep stripping me more and more naked while you keep staying comfortably hidden, and it makes me feel like an idiot. It makes me realize how stupid I was for ever treating this as anything more than what it is, which is a lie.”
“You don’t have to call it that.”
“Real diamond, Drew – not a real engagement. Remember?” I flung his words back before spinning around to go to my room.
But since he was standing right there, I sloshed half the contents of my mug right down his chest. My jaw dropped like a brick as I watched the scalding water soak into his shirt. But inch-by-inch my mouth creaked shut because Drew gave no reaction whatsoever. All he did was clench his jaw, keeping that wolfish gaze unflinchingly pinned to me as he gripped the knot of his tie and jerked it loose.
“You wanted to know something about me that I’ve told only one person in my life,” he muttered, whipping the tie off his neck and unbuttoning his shirt. “And the only reason I told that person was because I needed an agent. No one wanted anything to do with me after what happened with Tim, and I needed someone willing to take a chance on me. The only reason Iain did that was because I explained myself to him. But trust me, I didn’t want to.”
My tongue stuck to the roof of my mouth as Drew stared at me while taking off his shirt. I was more curious than ever now, but the storm inside me slowed to a rolling thunder as Drew dropped his button-down to the floor.
“So that’s it. I’m still right where you left me. You’re not going to tell me.”
“I’ll tell you, Evie,” Drew said between his teeth, stunning me silent. “I’ll fucking tell you everything because I hate what I’ve done to you with this story coming out. I hate that you have to feel even a fraction of how shitty I feel every day of my life,” he said, making my heart twist in my chest. “Just don’t make me say it now. Don’t make me do this tonight because I can’t do another second without touching you, Evie. I swear to God I can’t. I need you back already.”
I swallowed the enormous knot in my throat. He had me and I probably should’ve let him know, but I was speechless because Drew was officially stripped before me and I never thought I’d see him look at me this way. At anyone. He was thoroughly chipped at. Broken down and pleading with me. I could only manage a nod because I didn’t actually know how to react to the feeling of bending something so big and strong.
“Tell me I can touch you again,” Drew murmured, closing the small gap between us.
His mouth was an inch from mine, and he stood as tight as he possibly could without touching me. I felt every inch of heat from his body, and I saw the need in his eyes as he waited for me to give him permission.
Because once I did, I knew he wouldn’t stop. And just because he was begging for me didn’t mean he was going to be gentle.
When I nodded again, I felt a rumble build in Drew’s chest. He was primed, ready, but he didn’t put his hands on me until he heard me speak.
“Touch me again,” I whispered.
The words barely escaped my throat before Drew grasped hold of my neck.
Two fingers gripped my jaw as his free hand shot under my skirt, and the second his fingers pushed into my pussy, his eyes closed as if they were rolling back in his head. His hold on me instantly eased and he exhaled as he pumped inside me, breathing harder with each deep stroke, like my body returned air to his lungs.