In the video, he was absolutely glowing about the mother of his best friend, a woman named Pattie Lillard.
Yeah, because this will really help you not fall completely in love with him, I thought as young Drew raved on about how Pattie had raised him for chunks of his life, and how her son Tim was like a brother to him. He had served as best man at Tim’s wedding, was at the hospital for the birth of Tim’s son, and called the Lillards “the most important people” in his life.
“Yeah, this is really not helping,” I muttered aloud to myself.
/> Because somehow, knowing that Drew was human at some point in his life simply fanned the fire of my infatuation. It made my heart soften for him, and it made me wonder where Pattie and Tim Lillard were today.
“Oh. Fuck,” I mumbled as the interview took a turn, and Drew began talking about his efforts to raise money for treatment after the return of Pattie’s cancer.
Right away, I paused the interview and Googled the name Pattie Lillard, and my heart instantly dropped at the first headline I saw.
PATTIE LILLARD LOSES BATTLE WITH CANCER AT AGE 58.
The headline was from two years ago.
“Geez,” I breathed, holding a hand to my cheek as I clicked back to the interview of young Drew, tormenting myself by hitting play again and listening to him talk hopefully about all the fundraisers he was putting up for Pattie’s treatment.
“She’s going to make it. She means too much to too many people. I know she’ll beat it.”
God.
No wonder Drew was cold and hard now. He’d gone on national television, poured his heart out and still watched Pattie die a few years later. It made my heart ache for him. It made me wish I could just be near him right now and wrap my arms around him.
Basically, it was the exact opposite of what I had hoped to accomplish with this Googling session.
As the video ended with old photos of Drew, Tim and Pattie, I stupidly scrolled into the comments.
“What the fuck is wrong with people?” I whispered to myself as I skimmed the section. Considering the vulnerability and the outpouring of emotion I just saw, it was not at all what I expected.
DREW MADDOX IS A HYPOCRITE.
This dude is a fucking sociopath!!!
Can’t believe he’d do that to his best friend whose mother RAISED him. SMH.
“What the…”
Without thinking, I clicked on the link that was posted with the last comment and suddenly I was on a YouTube video labeled “TIM LILLARD KNOCKED OUT – ORIGINAL.”
I watched about two seconds before slamming my laptop shut.
No.
No, no, no, no.
I already knew I didn’t need to watch that. First of all, Drew wasn’t in the video and all I could see was a shaky, blurry image as the cameraperson ran to a body lying bloodied at the foot of a suburban driveway.
It could be fake.
It could be real.
You don’t know the whole story. Just don’t.
The last thing I needed was more questions, especially at a time when Drew didn’t necessarily owe me the answers. So walking my laptop upstairs, I placed it on my desk in my room, leaving it there before going back down to wait for Drew on the couch.
I still felt a weirdness hanging over me as I lay there, dozing in and out of sleep. It prickled over my skin and kept jolting me awake.
But at some point, I remembered seeing Drew’s face on the screen again – still leaning on that dugout railing, still standing next to Ty. They were laughing big about something or another, and just the sight of that smile was enough to curve the ends of my lips before I drifted off to sleep.