“Lots of stuff about how I should stop freaking out about being unemployed, that it’s okay for pretty girls to not have jobs. Then something about how women are actually a burden to companies, and maternity leave is unfair to men.”
“Wow,” Lia breathed. “That’s super charming for a first date.”
“Isn’t it?” I said dryly.
Out of desperation, I’d tried a date tonight. The match I found on Tinder was a Cornell grad with what looked like a nice smile and a nicer body. I hoped he could be a distraction from the fact that I’d sent out hundreds of resumes in the past week and gotten no replies. Six days wasn’t a ton of time to be out of a job but still, I was getting restless, antsy, and worst of all, I was getting pretty frequently distracted from my job hunt by memories of that beautiful fucking man I was oh-so-close to sleeping with at the hotel last week.
It sounded dramatic, but I was pretty sure he’d ruined me.
I couldn’t get dressed without looking at my own naked body and remembering the way he touched me, the way he licked my neck and kissed my breasts. In the shower, I ran my hands over the parts of me that he’d sucked and squeezed and spanked without mercy, and just thinking about that got me hotter than any sex I’d ever had.
It was torture. Pure torture.
The amount of times I had to pause my day and climb into my bed with my vibrator was actually embarrassing, so Josh from Tinder was my hope for relief.
But then he turned out to be a maternity leave-hating dickbag.
“It’s okay, girl. Onto the next, right?” Lia tried to brush it off.
“I would say that, but I think Elevator Babe might’ve ruined my taste in men forever. The bar’s been set way too high now.”
“He was really that good-looking?” Lia whispered giddily.
I groaned into my hands. “He was literally the best-looking person I’ve ever laid eyes on in my life. In fact, I’m pretty sure he’s the best-looking person anyone has ever laid eyes on in their life. In history and this entire world.”
“Excuse me. I may be biased, but I think the best-looking person in the world is my boyfriend, Lukas, but before you roll your eyes at me,” Lia said hastily as I rolled my eyes at her, “I do know of someone in Lukas’s social circle who you’d find attractive. In fact, I’ve told you about him before, but you were never interested in listening and he’s also kind of a huge dick, so I figured it might be for the best,” Lia laughed to herself. “But anyway, if it’s not a dating thing and all you’re looking for is a really hot guy to finish the job that Elevator Babe started then Julian,” she paused for effect after saying his name, “could be the one.”
“Right. I think you’ve mentioned him before.”
“I definitely have. Would you be interested in meeting him?”
“I guess.”
Lia rolled her eyes at my indifference. “Oh my God, look, I know he might not end up as hot as your mysterious Elevator God, but I promise he’s ten billion worlds better than Tinder Josh. In fact, I can say, despite being absurdly in love with Lukas, that Julian is objectively gorgeous. Like, really, really, almost annoyingly handsome – and mega rich, if you’re into that. But anyway, I’m gonna Google him and prove it to you right now so I can go ahead and say I told you so.”
“Lia.” I gently set her phone back down on the table. “It’s fine, girl, I trust you. Tell you what, the next time you text me that you’re all hanging out, I’ll actually join. I’ve always wanted to, but I actually have the time now. In fact, I have way too much time now,” I muttered, plopping my pointy chin into my hand and glaring with frustration out the window.
“Ah, ah. No wallowing, Sara. I forbid it,” Lia said firmly. Taking my hand, she gave it an encouraging squeeze. “Hey, look at me. Do you wanna do something fun tonight? You wanna see if there’s a good chick flick at Alamo Drafthouse? We can get drunk off margaritas and laugh at how people never say ‘bye’ on the phone in movies.”
“That’s an idea.”
“Or.” Lia held up a finger while texting with the other hand on her phone. “We could drink unlimited Veuve Cliquot for free at some billionaire fundraiser on the West Side.”
I had to take a second to process.
“Those are two very different options.”
“I know. But Lukas is at the fundraiser right now, and he says it’s not black tie, so we can totally go. Also…” She trailed off to text some more, silent for several extremely focused and fast-typing seconds.
Out of nowhere, she gasped and pumped her fist. “Yes! Julian’s there. We’re going!”
“Oh God,” I groaned teasingly as I let her drag me up off my chair.
“Don’t ‘oh God’ me, you’ll be thanking me soon,” Lia snapped, slapping a few bills on the table before marching me out the door. “You and Julian, girl. It’s happening. I mean he’s kind of the worst, but he’s probably at least decent in bed.”
“Nice. You sold him,” I snorted as we got on the sidewalk and hailed a cab.
It wasn’t a black tie affair but I still felt underdressed, mostly because everyone around me just exuded wealth. Gliding elegantly past me in every direction were people in Cartier, Prada, Chanel – people boasting the kind of sparkle and polish I couldn’t mimic with my head-to-toe H&M. And if the wardrobe discrepancy didn’t tell me that I was among the one percent, the silver Maserati sitting in the back of the room most certainly did.