“Everyone, most of you know my brother, Julian. I’ve also got here my brother from another mother, Lukas, and his girl, Lia. Everybody say hi.”
I blushed as everyone turned and gave the loudest, cheeriest “hiiii” complete with two-handed waves. But it wasn’t their attention that burned my cheeks – it was the fact that Lukas stiffened when Emmett introduced me as his “girl.”
Damn it, Emmett, I cursed him inwardly while smiling outwardly in thanks for the seat he pulled out for me. I eyed Lukas as he sat down but instead of the awkward expression I expected, he was already grinning and greeting the suited guy sitting across from him. His name was Bryce and judging from the conversation, he worked with Julian for the Empires’ front office and was someone Lukas sold a home to this year.
“Your man’s a horrible person, by the way,” Bryce said to me, grinning at whatever look Lukas flashed him. “He convinced me to buy a place so fucking out of the budget that now, Jess and I have to put off having kids for at least a couple years. And I might have to work part-time as a groundskeeper for the arena.”
Everyone burst out laughing as Lukas grinned and shook his head. “Don’t listen to him. He’s lying – that house was barely out of his budget and he doesn’t want kids, anyway.”
“Hey. I didn’t when Jess and I first met, asshole. But now I’m married, so it’s different,” Bryce said.
“What, did she threaten divorce if you didn’t want kids?” Emmett snorted.
“Abso-fucking-lutely she did!” Bryce boomed to more laughter. “And I’m pretty much dependent on that woman, so she ain’t going anywhere. Also, I’m soft as fuck now and anything that puts a smile on her face, I’m gonna give it to her.”
“Jesus Christ. You’re making me nauseous,” Julian said across the table.
“Hey, don’t be mad that you can’t get hard for anything but your job. Hell, even Lukas has found someone – when are you gonna settle down?”
I thanked God that the entire table was looking at Julian because I was red from my cheeks to my collarbones over the continued assumption that Lukas and I were in some kind of official relationship. I was so uncomfortable I didn’t even dare look at Lukas anymore. His hand was no longer on my back or anywhere near me, and as potentially irrational as it was, I interpreted that as his need to put a distance between us – just in case I was getting too excited about his friends giving me the girlfriend treatment.
I felt my stomach twist with nerves when Bryce turned back to us. I knew his type – not malicious, just a ball-buster. He was probably a genuine friend, just bad at figuring out when he’d crossed the line.
“So, speaking of kids, Lukie-boy, have you changed your stance yet?” he asked, catching what I assumed was a glare from Julian because suddenly he was defending himself to him. “What’s that face for? It’s an honest question.”
“What, no kids for you?” I murmured to Lukas, daring to peer up at him. His eyes were on the menu but I knew he wasn’t reading anything as he responded.
“No.”
“Damn, you didn’t know?” Bryce cringed. “That’s like, his number one rule.”
“Bryce,” Julian warned.
“What? It’s fine. We all have our rules. Like this guy here,” Bryce nodded at Julian. “His is don’t fuck with my work. Even Emmett has one – don’t make me choose between you or my dog,” Bryce said to more laughter. “And with Lukas, it’s don’t even ask me about having kids. Never gonna happen. That was my rule at one point too, though. But things change once you find out that’s a deal breaker for some people.” Bryce turned to me. “That a deal breaker for you?”
I had never thought about it till this moment – this moment during which a dozen people, most of them strangers, were looking to me with polite curiosity, waiting on the answer that I now realized was a resounding yes. Of course, the right move was probably to lie about that, just to save everyone from a potentially awkward moment. Is it a deal breaker? My first thought is to say yes, but like you said yourself, Bryce, things change. I may feel that way now, but depending on the circumstances and the partner I’m with, how should I know how I might feel down the line?
It was a perfectly diplomatic answer.
At the same time, it was probably presumptuous to lie for the sake of Lukas’s feelings – in all likelihood, he didn’t care if this was a deal breaker for me. Because I wasn’t his girlfriend and this wasn’t a relationship. Just hearing his friend call me his girl made him turn into stone, so why did I need to deny a truth I knew well about myself when it wouldn’t affect him at all?
“I think since the day I understood what a mom was, I wanted to be one,” I finally said to instant nods from several other women at the table. It was my first time saying the words but I knew in my heart there were none truer. I smiled faintly to myself. “I probably missed out on several rites of passage in my childhood and adolescence but a mother figure was never one of them. I was lucky enough to have two and they were both amazing in their own ways. They both made me pray that someday, I could enrich someone’s life the way they did mine, and being even half as good of a role model as they were to me. So yes, I’d say I’ve always understood that I’d eventually have a family of my own. Of all the goals and dreams I’ve ever had, that might actually be the one I want most in the end.”
“Yes,” one of the other girls promptly said, relieving me of what probably would’ve been several seconds of awkward silence. “A hundred percent what she said.” Adamantly, she raised her glass. “A toast to mothers.”
“To mothers!” everyone said in that same, bright unison we were greeted with. It was nice, positive moment that I wished we could keep and move past but of course, Bryce was still in search of his answer.
“Damn, Lukas, you hear that? That’s gotta change your mind, right?”
I had no right to care about whatever answer Lukas gave. I reminded myself of that and still, my heart dropped when he spoke.
“It’s not happening, Bryce. End of story.”
“Still? You of all people should want kids.”
“Bryce, stop talking,” Julian said, shooting an icy look that chilled even my spine. And with that, Bryce went quiet but the damage was done. The table was still, silent and several of the girls were sneaking me looks of genuine sympathy, since to them it looked as if my boyfriend had just dropped a bombshell on me. I smiled back to try to put them at ease.
“To be fair, we’re just… friends. Really,” I said awkwardly, glancing at Lukas in hopes of catching his look of relief. But he was unreadable. “So… if any of you thought that was Lukas being a total monster just now, please give him at least some credit back,” I joked, breathing easy when I got a few laughs.