Amora
I surfacefrom a dreamless sleep to the deep, dark of night, cocooned by the warmth of the three men sleeping around me.
I’m on my back, completely pinned in by them—something that, once upon a time, would have sent alarm bells clanging through my head. Instead, it’s peaceful and comforting, if a little too warm.
The ceiling is barely visible in the blackness, small cracks in the paint standing out like spider webs made of ink. I take a couple of deep breaths, staring up at them as I try to figure out where I stand. How I feel.
The past few weeks still weigh on my shoulders, although I imagine that’s not something that’s just going to go away. Things still aren’t good here. We lost against Quinton, and I’m not naïve enough to think he won’t retaliate. Felicity is dead, and that’s a pretty permanent problem that’s going to throw her whole pack into a state of flux for a while.
On the other hand, for the first time in a while, I’m okay. Even if the external world is chaos, my internal world has found a tentative peace that sends relief straight through my bones.
It’s out in the open now, how I feel about these men. No more hiding my emotions, no more pretending I wouldn’t sacrifice everything to keep them safe. In a way, my admission of devotion to them makes me vulnerable, and that niggling thought buzzes at the back of my mind irritably. I did give them more power over me, after all.
The power to hurt me.
On the bright side, I’m not hurting myself by denying what I feel and what I want anymore. Kian, Malix, and Frost aren’t like Quinton. I truly believe that. They were raised to be amoral, but they’re not evil, which makes it easier for me to reconcile my feelings for them.
I turn my head on the pillow and gaze at Kian’s face in the dim light. He must be dreaming—his eyes move back and forth behind his lids. I wonder what he’s seeing. Whether he’s possibly dreaming of me.
Poor Felicity. I look back at the ceiling, my heart clenching. I know the way I’ve internalized her death at the hands of her mate has been almost illogical. But the whole way back from Blood Moon pack lands, I couldn’t stop picturing Quinton kill her. That moment when he made the choice to destroy his mate.
I almost made that choice too. And that’s what hurts so much.
Not only that, but Quinton and Felicity started off in love. Smitten. Two wolves meant for each other, happy to have found their fated match. Then all of those good things slid into chaos and destruction.
Me and my mates started off in the worst way possible. Between the hatred, the violence, and the betrayal—on all of our parts—it wasn’t exactly the healthiest way to start a relationship. Especially one that’s meant to be permanent and lasting.
But I have to hope that we’ll keep moving toward something better. We’ve been through hell, but I have to believe that all the pain we’ve been through will lead to something good. All the bullshit will somehow just make our bond stronger in the end.
“You’re overthinking this already.”
The murmur of a deep voice near my left ear startles me out of my inner musings.
I turn my head to find Malix lying on his side, his violet eyes open, staring at me with an amused smirk on his full lips.
“I am not,” I shoot back, my voice hushed but haughty.
His smile widens. “You definitely are. I don’t need to be a witch to see straight into that kitty head.”
Rolling my eyes, I carefully shift onto my side to face him. “Just because you think you know everything doesn’t mean you do.”
“Nah. Frost’s the one who knows everything. I just know you.” He traces his fingers down my cheek, the touch warm and soothing.
I lean into his hand and close my eyes, enjoying this small gesture of comfort.
He speaks again, his voice still low. “This doesn’t have to be complicated. You and me. You and us. The four of us. In fact, it doesn’t really need to be complicated at all. You’re the only one stewing over it hard enough to make it into a mess.”
I open my eyes and stick my tongue out at him, going for maximum maturity.
Malix chuckles, brushing his thumb over my cheekbone as he studies me with eyes that gleam in the small bit of light coming through the window.
“Whether we have the mate bond or not, you fit with us. You realize that, right? Call it a mate bond, call it something else. Accept it, deny it… it doesn’t matter. Because no matter what we do, we can’t change the truth. We need you.” He leans in and presses a gentle kiss to the tip of my nose. “You fill a hole in our pack we didn’t even know existed until we met you. You fit, even against our rough edges. You make us whole.”
I reel at his admission. His words hit me right in the chest, making my heart constrict painfully. Warm tears gather in my eyes, but I blink them away because I don’t want to lose sight of his beautiful face.
He glances over my shoulder then and winks. Almost at the same time, Kian’s warm arm slips gently around my bare waist and he hikes me closer against his body. His breath tickles my ear as he says, “Just let it happen. You. Us. Let it be.”
I realize he must have been awake for most of my whispered conversation with Malix. He squeezes me against him while Frost’s sleep-tousled head pops up from behind Malix’s shoulder.
Frost catches my gaze with his cool, icy blue eyes and we stay like that for several long seconds in a kind of unspoken conversation. I can sense pure affection and a sincere promise on the other end of our bond.
I revel in this moment, as terrifying as it is. I think of that morning three years ago when I woke up to find Kian gone, rising from bed in that hotel room only to realize that my mate had left me. Rejected me. After that day, I fought hard to protect my heart from anyone and anything who might break it again.
Now… I let go of that need for protection. I allow myself to be vulnerable by trusting them, by believing that they care for me.
When the silence drags on just a shade too long, Kian leans down and nips at the sensitive skin of my neck, then his lips close over my pulse. His tongue traces over my flesh, warm and wet, as he sucks gently.
I gasp and arch against him, my eyes closing as a bolt of pure sensation shoots through me, starting at my neck and traveling through my entire body. When I open my eyes again, Malix’s smile has faded away, replaced by pure desire. He closes the space between us and kisses me, one hand sliding up to cup my breast, and I arch against his palm, moaning as his thumb brushes over my nipple and awakens every nerve in my body. Kian’s cock is hardening against my ass, and as he continues to trail his tongue over my skin, one hand dips over my hip and slides toward the aching spot between my legs. I open to him and break the kiss with Malix, reaching past him for Frost.
Frost captures my lips over Malix, but we’ve barely managed to taste each other when a howl goes up in the distance.
My eyes fly wide open.
We break apart, and all three of the bodies surrounding me go rigid.
“Is that… a warning?” I ask, my skin prickling uneasily.
“No.” Kian’s voice is grave, all the smooth warmth from a moment ago gone. “Not a warning. A howl of pain.”
Frost’s blue eyes flash as he catches his brother’s gaze. “And it’s coming from the pack land’s border.”